:( is all I'm going to say. Well not all, God is good and faithful, and I am waiting on Him.
However everything else is still :(
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
..........
So I didnt get the job at company X after 1 interview for one position and 2 for another. We will go into all the reasons for this some other day cause right now my emotions are not ready for it. What I do want to say on this blog is...Wow God is faithful, even when I am not, and Even though there is somehow sometimes this slight disconnect to seeing what God does and really taking hold of that in my heart...I will still say Thank you Lord for your peace. cause while this job seemed right, in my mind, I didnt have this confident assurance and peace in my heart, which I have felt in the past for certain big decisions, and God waking me up this morning to pray, and then the devotional today...
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns--02/03/12:
Encourage yourself, says the Lord. Rise up and establish yourself in faith that I will bring you through every situation that has the potential of bringing you down in discouragement. Ask, and I will give you wisdom and show you what must be done. I will strengthen you in your weakest moment. I am with you, and I will not forsake you. Put your entire trust in Me to rescue you from even the most dire of situations and lift you up to new heights. Do not be afraid!
2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
So I guess even though I am feeling crappy right now, my Father in heaven took the time to encourage me this morning...
Thank you Lord, heal the disconnect. Love you
Chan
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns--02/03/12:
Encourage yourself, says the Lord. Rise up and establish yourself in faith that I will bring you through every situation that has the potential of bringing you down in discouragement. Ask, and I will give you wisdom and show you what must be done. I will strengthen you in your weakest moment. I am with you, and I will not forsake you. Put your entire trust in Me to rescue you from even the most dire of situations and lift you up to new heights. Do not be afraid!
2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
So I guess even though I am feeling crappy right now, my Father in heaven took the time to encourage me this morning...
Thank you Lord, heal the disconnect. Love you
Chan
Thursday, February 2, 2012
1 Corinthians 2 hectic shmectic
1 Corinthians 2
1 When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God.[a] 2 For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 3 I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. 4 My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, 5 so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.Wisdom From the Spirit
6 We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. 7 No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written: “No eye has seen,no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him”[b]—
10 but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.[c] 14 The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15 The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man’s judgment:
16 “For who has known the mind of the Lord
that he may instruct him?”[d]
But we have the mind of Christ.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The problem with being single after 30...
1) Almost everyone is married, and because you're not you don't think that way. You don't consider when you meet someone that they probably are married, and then they are!
2) You seem desperate, You sound desperate, but you actually aren't...
3) Few people understand what you are going through because once again... They're married and it wasn't years of waiting...
4) Some people assume because you are older and still single that you are desperate...And would go for just anybody...Including the men trying to go for you...
5) You have to be teased at every party, in every conversation, about your status.
6) Maybe you still have the romantic, crush side of you which really doesnt work at 31!
7) Your friends get younger every year as the married friends reprioritize their lives, then your younger friends get married, etc...
8) You become older, "wiser"/more cynical, fatter, greyer :) But still no man.You become more independant, more used to doing things for yourself, which generally is a put off for men but how can u help it if for most of your life you have to look after yourself...Confidence levels also change.
9) your dream for 5 children becomes 2,and adoption...or you look around u and say maybe I shouldnt have 5 cause I now understand (not the money concern) but the capacity concern.
10) You go between being ok and not ok, the worst part is again if other people assume you are desperate...E.g you meet a guy, and all you are thinking is Great! new Guy friends, so I can be more normal. But he or others are saying...She is plus 30, she is desperate, let me keep my distance. When you are just trying to be friends...Then other times you do notice the amazing qualities in friends and it drives you nuts! Cause there is no way of knowing, if there hasnt been anyone till now, then why would things change now, so don't even dream!
11) Weddings and social events don't contain the plus one invite anymore which used to force you to try and interact with guys to get a partner to the event...Wherever you go, its mostly just ladies...and even if there were men u'd be a bit akward cause we just don't have that culture anymore of mixing, ladies sit and drink tea, while guys talk politics and world events (which I like, but then it looks weird me sitting with the men!)
Also back in the day, parties contained, dancing, Jazzing and Bluesing, once again, akward, but interaction!
12) You have the whole idea panned out in your mind, the colours, the childrens names, everything, but if any potential comes in site...You freak out cause although u say u want it, the reality is for the past 10 years you didnt need to consider someone else...And don't know how you would be anymore.
13) When someone does pay interest you act all weirdly, cause again, this is not something u do all the time or have done in the longest time, would have been easier if u just married the love of ur life you met at 18, at 23 as planned.
14) You actually begin to consider blind dates, etc.etc... WHICH YOU NEVER DID BEFORE...esp. as a christian... I mean now like internet meeting sites *ok I am not at this point yet..But watching too much reality tv makes u wish you friends did set u up on a blind date.
15) People still give you the speech of once you forget about it will come... Or how to wait patiently...Ok heard that speech at 22, 25, 27, 29, 31...I've gone for 3 years without looking around or even expecting, just enjoying God...I know what it is like to wait, I don't grab the first guy who pays attention, I do know God knows...Its normal to I think have bouts of wondering again...I can say this cause in 12 years of being single if it weren't normal I'd be an absolute freak or I would have a strong case of asking Why I'm not married after 12 years of patiently waiting...I think life is about being real too!
There are more points, they will come as I vent more...
But the reality is, that I know God knows. I know that he is still busy healing me and I know that in this past 12 years of being single, I haven't been twiddling my thumbs but I have been living life, I've gone on missions, I've travelled, I've learnt alot, Even began to heal deep things in my life that was there even before I used to date and was reason for messing up those relationships. I can wait even 12 years more if God is still walking with me and leading me on, as long as he teaches me how to deal with when the potential people come alongside me. I really know he knows and I actually trust him. Well I don't trust myself that much even in the choosing. I am grateful that he has kept a hedge around me, esp. when I wanted the wrong guys, he just made it not work out... I believe this year will be different, and I am trying to learn to really trust and depend on God for the big life transitions... And in learning to follow and find him in life, I hope when the love comes I will hear His voice.
but for today, just needed to vent on here, cause as I said when I try and tell people where I'm at, they just don't understand...
2) You seem desperate, You sound desperate, but you actually aren't...
3) Few people understand what you are going through because once again... They're married and it wasn't years of waiting...
4) Some people assume because you are older and still single that you are desperate...And would go for just anybody...Including the men trying to go for you...
5) You have to be teased at every party, in every conversation, about your status.
6) Maybe you still have the romantic, crush side of you which really doesnt work at 31!
7) Your friends get younger every year as the married friends reprioritize their lives, then your younger friends get married, etc...
8) You become older, "wiser"/more cynical, fatter, greyer :) But still no man.You become more independant, more used to doing things for yourself, which generally is a put off for men but how can u help it if for most of your life you have to look after yourself...Confidence levels also change.
9) your dream for 5 children becomes 2,and adoption...or you look around u and say maybe I shouldnt have 5 cause I now understand (not the money concern) but the capacity concern.
10) You go between being ok and not ok, the worst part is again if other people assume you are desperate...E.g you meet a guy, and all you are thinking is Great! new Guy friends, so I can be more normal. But he or others are saying...She is plus 30, she is desperate, let me keep my distance. When you are just trying to be friends...Then other times you do notice the amazing qualities in friends and it drives you nuts! Cause there is no way of knowing, if there hasnt been anyone till now, then why would things change now, so don't even dream!
11) Weddings and social events don't contain the plus one invite anymore which used to force you to try and interact with guys to get a partner to the event...Wherever you go, its mostly just ladies...and even if there were men u'd be a bit akward cause we just don't have that culture anymore of mixing, ladies sit and drink tea, while guys talk politics and world events (which I like, but then it looks weird me sitting with the men!)
Also back in the day, parties contained, dancing, Jazzing and Bluesing, once again, akward, but interaction!
12) You have the whole idea panned out in your mind, the colours, the childrens names, everything, but if any potential comes in site...You freak out cause although u say u want it, the reality is for the past 10 years you didnt need to consider someone else...And don't know how you would be anymore.
13) When someone does pay interest you act all weirdly, cause again, this is not something u do all the time or have done in the longest time, would have been easier if u just married the love of ur life you met at 18, at 23 as planned.
14) You actually begin to consider blind dates, etc.etc... WHICH YOU NEVER DID BEFORE...esp. as a christian... I mean now like internet meeting sites *ok I am not at this point yet..But watching too much reality tv makes u wish you friends did set u up on a blind date.
15) People still give you the speech of once you forget about it will come... Or how to wait patiently...Ok heard that speech at 22, 25, 27, 29, 31...I've gone for 3 years without looking around or even expecting, just enjoying God...I know what it is like to wait, I don't grab the first guy who pays attention, I do know God knows...Its normal to I think have bouts of wondering again...I can say this cause in 12 years of being single if it weren't normal I'd be an absolute freak or I would have a strong case of asking Why I'm not married after 12 years of patiently waiting...I think life is about being real too!
There are more points, they will come as I vent more...
But the reality is, that I know God knows. I know that he is still busy healing me and I know that in this past 12 years of being single, I haven't been twiddling my thumbs but I have been living life, I've gone on missions, I've travelled, I've learnt alot, Even began to heal deep things in my life that was there even before I used to date and was reason for messing up those relationships. I can wait even 12 years more if God is still walking with me and leading me on, as long as he teaches me how to deal with when the potential people come alongside me. I really know he knows and I actually trust him. Well I don't trust myself that much even in the choosing. I am grateful that he has kept a hedge around me, esp. when I wanted the wrong guys, he just made it not work out... I believe this year will be different, and I am trying to learn to really trust and depend on God for the big life transitions... And in learning to follow and find him in life, I hope when the love comes I will hear His voice.
but for today, just needed to vent on here, cause as I said when I try and tell people where I'm at, they just don't understand...
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
What would my temple look like?
as asked in the above video...
I would be sitting at His Feet, or he would hold me in his arms, just crushing away all the fear, unworthiness, unlovable feelings. I would know I am loved and I am with Him...
Or my favourite or greatest desire, we would dance together!
I would be sitting at His Feet, or he would hold me in his arms, just crushing away all the fear, unworthiness, unlovable feelings. I would know I am loved and I am with Him...
Or my favourite or greatest desire, we would dance together!
Friday, November 11, 2011
lol...read today...
was googling vuvuzelas today then got this...
Federal Transport Minister Anthony Albanese says Tony Abbott is like a walking vuvuzela with his constant negativity about the carbon tax.
The carbon tax is expected to sail through the Senate on Tuesday, while the opposition leader heads overseas for a meeting of conservative pollies.
Asked about Mr Abbott's continued opposition to the tax, Mr Albanese likened him to the loud, monotonous and irritating plastic horns that were used by fans during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.
"You can't just run around as a walking vuvuzela and make a single noise; `no, no, no', to everything that happens," Mr Albanese told reporters in Sydney.
"And what's occurring with Tony Abbott is when people first hear the walking vuvuzela, it's an interesting sound, it gets your attention.
"But over a period of time, when you realise there's just one noise and it's monotone and it's relentless, think the Australian people will increasingly be agitated by his failure to show any leadership."
Mr Albanese also criticised Mr Abbott for heading to the UK as the Senate votes on the carbon tax.
"This is an important reform and an historic day and Tony Abbott's gone missing ... flown off to London," Mr Albanese said.
and this
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