A Tribute to my Fathers

17 June 2007

Thought I should record this tribute, both (I think) have heard these words, but I guess I want it written down so that it can be a reminder to me too...

Perhaps some will be shocked at me saying Fathers, but here's an update, my real biological dad died when I was 5 months old, my mom remarried when I was 4 years old and My current dad adopted me too...

Joey Eksteen.

I don't know you, not at all, I heard you were a great person, that many people were drawn to you, that you were warm and friendly and made alot of jokes. Most of my life I dont think about you, and almost wished I never knew you because I guess I was content with life as it is, and can't imagine having another father, what would you have been like, stricter than the father I have... So for most of my life you were just a name, not even knowing where your grave is only going when my parents take me and a reminder when people meet me who knew you, most of the time I felt uncomfortable with questions or saying I have 3 sets of grandparents, or my father died and why I dont even know, it's not like I was saying my father left.

Recently, I asked my mom if there were signs, and she said the week before you died you did alot of things, buying new furniture, bonding with all your school kids who travelled bus. Even more recently I heard something about your death that freaked me out and which I still need to confirm but told my friends, who one gave another view of that news which really melted my heart.

Today I decided to join my parents at their church to honour my father at their Father's Day service. It came to the part where you put a flower in the wreath for a Fathe who died. I thought I'm not going to go just because its said in front I must, also I dont want all the comments "why am I going up if I have a father"...I'll honour you in my own way... Then last minute telling my sis, Should I go, and She said Yes, it's not about the people.

Anyway I hope you like the red flower I picked. I just want to say sorry, sorry for surpressing your memory. It's not your fault you died. I'm sure you would have loved me, thats why you had me. It is hard to know how to think or feel about someone you dont know at all except for photos and even that I'm not sure where they are. But I just want to say Happy Fathers Day Dad, I'm not even sure where you are, what life you lived and if you'll be in heaven when I get there, but regardless, you made me, and there are many attributes of you in me, and you decided to have a child and that was me, and I'm sure I get my jokes and love for people from you, and so for the 26 years I havent honoured you I want to say I'm sorry, but also want to say that although I dont know you and wont have that opportunity, I do love you, and thank you for deciding to have me, and for having loved my mother. Thankyou for the wonderful Eksteen family I have in George because of you. Thankyou for responding to the unction to sort out things for my mom before you died. Thankyou even for the inheritance you left, even though i totally messed it up. Thankyou Joey Eksteen. Thankyou Dad. Wherever you are I thank you, I honour you and I love you. God I just want to say thank you for your perfect plan for my life, and the father you have given to make me a part of who I am today.

Aubrey De Wet

Wow, what can I say. Lots of fights, but lots of Love, which outshines every silly argument or fear. Most men do not adopt their wives children. And even if they do, they dont take them on as their own. Though there have been times I have felt insecure of my place in the family when comparing (something I do and know I shouldnt) I can not think of a time you have ever made me feel as though I am not your real daughter... I dont doubt my place in your home and life. And love you lots.
I wish to take back all those negative words and letters I wrote(but never gave) in my teenage years, and wish for you nothing but Love, God, Strength, Wisdome, Favour, Prosperity, Hope, Joy, Blessings... You are such an example of a humble servant. And though you have been hurt by man I really pray that you will realise your selflessness is honoured God! You are so strong and solid. I love the fact that if we have a problem and are stuck somewhere, you want us to call you. That is such a reassurance. I love the fact that you love my mother, and that you show it, and that you actually take times to bless her by cooking cleaning, etc. and not losing your manliness, You guys really show me the picture of a biblical marriage, where the wife submits to the husband, but the husband too loves her like Christ loved the church by laying his life down... I love the fact too that when we argue it's not about winning the argument, and that you come back and tell me if you were wrong, or you tell me that you didnt want to fight, or allow me to approach you if I still have an issue, you are real and make yourself vulnerable. Daddy, You are Great. And I love you lots, and I'm so glad I have you and dont really want anyone else than you. Thanks too for being strict. If you werent I would done even worse things than I did, and I love the fact that I've learnt to respect others home situations because of ours.. Love you Dad, I really pray that you will grow in God too, that you will realise that all those questions and hurts and issues He wants to bear. But just want to say I see the fruits in your life that we all so desire :) ...Also Stephen Curtis Chapman and the guy who blogs for Purpose Driven Life shares that those who adopt share a part of Gods heart because we are adopted into his family, and therefore those that adopt are doing something that God himself has done. Again, you didnt have to adopt me, but you did. You didnt have to love me like your own child, but you did. I love you Dad.

And lastly...

Father God, Abba, My Daddy (in Heaven)

When I think about the Lord
How He saved me, How he raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the uttermost

When I think about the Lord
How He picked me up and turned me around
How He set my feet on solid ground
It makes me wanna shout,

"Hallelujah, thank you Jesus,
Lord you're worthy of all the glory,And all the honor, and all the praise

Oh Father, thank you for picking me up and turning me around and loving me even in my darkest nights, and making things clear, and answering my questions, and meeting me, and holding me, and not giving up on me, Thank you Lord. Thank You Dad.

I only realised when i started this blog that I forgot to think about you today in this regards, and Lord I just want to say You trully are a Perfect Father and you Trully are who you say you are in the Word. And Lord I just wanna ask that you will continue to reveal your heart to those who are searching for truth. I Pray Father that you will remove any strongholds, barriers, and blinders the enemy is attempting to put on their lives but Trully God that They will KNOW YOU... Thank you for that Revelation you gave me in PE 2004, That You are my Father, as the word says you are a Father to the Fatherless, and when my dad died, you stepped in. You trully did, though I didnt really know and accept you till years later, looking back I can see how you protected me from so much and even where I made wrong choices, it didnt turn out the worst. God I love you, and Lord I dont want to be a person of words, but of action. I really want to live out what I believe and think and it's so hard, Lord dont stop working in my life, dont stop pruning me (hectic request) Lord thanks so much for your love. It changes my heart, it softens me. Its what gets me to keep on keeping on. Keep using my life to share that love with the whole world. In Jesus Name.

Love You Dad, and I honour you! In Jesus Name! Amen.