Show me how to love like you have loved me

What a weird, great but terrible week!

I find myself growing so much closer or drawing so much closer to God this week. But at the same time, I'm struggling so with people. And it's not them cause I realise after they leave, the answers. But as I am, I then worry about what I've left in the hearts of the people I was struggling with. I realise it's a matter of acting on my conviction and not maybe sharing it with others before I act on it. Cause God is highlighting that area in my life. So of course if you tell others they not going to get it, it's what God is convicting me about. Also As Im growing in God, I realise I am more sensitive, vulnerable and so wanting to do the right thing, so if anything small goes wrong then it's so much bigger for me right now cause I just want to do what God is showing me. I realise that I should jsut be obedient in the first place to what I'm being convicted on. And not want approval or double tripple checking before I act, then it gets even more confused, because others are like "Huh!" What's up with her?

So Lord, I thank you for your grace and mercy and reaching out to me in this time, I thank you that my conscience is not seared and I sense what you are telling me to work on. And Lord in this season I want to do what you say and not just call you Lord Lord. I see that in the making a decision to act on my convictions, I am getting a backlash from the enemy and it makes me not just say well continue but like stop and be frustrated or cry a little, But God You are Still My Lord, and Strong and I will press On regardless! Cause Your voice is the voice I know. Lord I ask you to strengthen me in the inner man, that I may stand! And Lord allow me to manage my emotions, and to not speak to much when I know that I'm not at a place of answering too well. But Lord, I know Your hand is clearly on my life at the moment, so God even these Relational Issues, LORD please come through in Jesus Name! Thank You Lord for YOUR GRACE. Your mercy. Your ability to relate to You and to Others. God I wanna be stepping aside, I wanna be a blessing to others. I dont know why that is easier when Im not so right with you? So God help me to keep my eyes straight ahead and as I grow in you, Lord I know that you are going to fill me with your love and wisdom to love others....


"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity" - Hosanna- United