1) Deciding to deal with your issues, dig deeper is an honourable thing, in fact its the only way we are going to become better people, but also know it's like opening a Pandora's Box, or like Titanic, what you're thought you're dealing with may only be the tip of the iceberg... You are vulnerable, you want truth so you facing "The Man in the Mirror" but in the same time all of a sudden all these unique challenges present themselves and weaknesses you never even knew starts to act up, and suddenly it seems that life was so much easier and less hurting when you walked in ignorance, or you feel but hey I wasnt struggling with all these things? BUT the coolest part is, that when you decided to deal with your stuff, and asked God to help you, you took a step in the direction of Jesus and he in turn takes a giant leap in your direction and actually begins to help you! The end of the story has already been determined even before the beginning... (http://chandre.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-make-known-end-from-beginning.html) So All though it looks like ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOSE... God is holding you in the midst of your challenges, even your failures, Satan knows you are vulnerable and he is upping HIS GAME, he didnt need to fight you when you were content to walk oblivious, mediocre, indifferent... But all of a sudden you want more and you begin to pursue more, he begins really poking his finger at all your hidden faults, or hidden to you but not to the MASTER Robber, Murderer and Destroyer (John 10:10)... What he and sometimes you don't know is that little step of faith was more than enough to move the mountain ahead and God has gone ahead and made the way straight and he comes and walks and holds on to you every step of the way, whether you realise it just then or not... WOW, it's not up to you!, It's not up to you BEING perfect. It's not dependant on you not being tempted anymore, or You not ever falling for that temptation... IT is completely Dependant on GOD in us..and us just yielding and allowing him to carry us all the way, and what about the arrows/darts and bombshells Satan throws at us (why am i capitlizing Satan) - ? " Satan se VOET!" - Satan's Foot! lol.... 3 scriptures, Greater is HE that is IN YOU than he that is in the world... and Those that are with us are greater than those against us..(elisha) - Psalm 27 - though war break out against me, even then will I be confident... I know this doesnt make sense, especially in the midst of your sin. But it is the truth we can ask God the one thing that we dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of our lives and that is the truth, that we are, EVEN while facing huge challenges... Again Psalm 31 why does he ask Free me from the trap that is set before me if he has made God his refuge... It means that this present traps are challenges, are real and are there and sometimes we are even getting entangled in them, but there is a greater reality that GOD is our refuge and we can hide in him even when we are stuck in the trap and ask him to free us, anyway only he can... the psalmist continues to say Into Your hands I commit my Spirit, Redeem me O Lord, the God of Truth... God, I am stuck, but I commit my Spirit to You, BUY me back, O Lord, the God of Truth.
So back to the pandoras box and facing the man in the mirror. It is so scary! I know, this is the place I am finding myself at...last year God told me i need more of him, and since then I've been on this journey of wanting more and doing what I can to get there...in the same time things that were'nt even an issue have been creeping up and even scaring me! but God has assured me he is ahead and with me, and I will make it and it's all worth it! You will also find when you decided to pursue more and deal with your issues alot of people will have things to say, some good some bad some just not relevant, the funniest or most confusing is the people who say Good for you, or even want to advise you but they have no intention of dealing with their own stuff...(u know sometimes everyone else can see your problems just not you - Johari's window...) in this time there are also the people currently on the same journey, who have been saying don't worry you will make it and their very lives are testimony to it, so I continue on...I commend these people :) But I am going to say Maturity is not an easy road, nor does it even happen in the time frames we have set for it. It takes a lot of honesty and courage...But the greatest part is we are not alone, his Spirit works in us and guides us into all truth. That Truth is not always what we wanted but what we need... But also God has already defeated Satan. Don't spend all your energy fearing, rather use that same energy to Trust the God you already Love! Yes easier said than done and not an overnight thing, but lets begin with God's help!
2) Purity is not a set of rules and regulations but a person Jesus Christ. Had a revelation of Him in white suit offering me a white rose. Me wearing a white wedding dress, and veil, me thinking how is it that I could look like this after all the nonsense I have caught on! but at the same time I could see that someone was wrapping white clothes around me (although I couldn't see the person - the holy spirit) - "he wraps himself in light, and darknesss tries to hide...) and then he comes forward and begins to dance with me - Langarm style - waltz and stuff for my non south african friends...We are in a big massive white room with white stairs and a river and just light streaming from above on to me... Oh before jesus there was the occasional flutter of angel wings which i couldnt entirely see, but knew that they were close like Mientjie (tarryn and natalies cute pug) when she wants to sleep in the bed, finding a nook to lie against on you, like at ur knees back or stomach and cuddles there... Ok maybe all of this doesnt make sense...but let me try and explain...1) We are surrounded by angels...Our very lives, no matter who we are...God has sent these ministering spirits to look after us and protect us, they are there, we don't see them, unless of course you have that gift but if you are very still you may be aware of the fluttering against ur cheek... No. 2 we Live for the Father who in this life we cannot entirelook at, for he is Holy but as we live the father never slumbers nor sleeps,(psalm 121) as u lift your eyes up to the hills you may be aware of his Light, his glory shining upon your face...As he always watches over you... no. 3) God has sent his son Jesus, who offers u a white rose of purity, even if you are not, it's not dependant on you but dependant on his offer and as you receive it 4( the Holy Spirit purifies and clothes you, he removes your sackcloth and gives you garments of righteousness...so that you are wearing an absolute white wedding dress, which really people did not come from yourselves. NO ONE is Holy! but for what God does in you... 5) Purity happens or a pure righteous life then happens as we having received Christ's invite, and allowed his spirit to work in us we respond by giving over and surrendering to his arms and then allow him to lead us through life, to dance, to twirl, to move... There is nothing else in this room but me, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, God..and perhaps invisible to me angels... The same with life...there is no way I am going to dance God's dance,without him leading the way...
Purity and Righteous living comes from Christ an only occurs in Christ. If it is up to you, you better watch out cause you may have pride then. Satan looked at himself and said, hey look how kwaai (awesome) I am...and sin enterd the world...
Anyway I am still learning so will share more as I learn more... But Know that God is for you! not against you! and That he is the way the truth and the life! Surrender... And let him lead you!....
(I like the email that said Guidance stands for God, U and I Dance...)
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