Who would have thought...

A year ago, I applied for every job but IT. It was last year this time of year that my sickness came back and I wondered is this because I am going back to work and not out doing my hearts desires. The idea of going back to a field that was stressfull, that I felt so out of place in, was scary to say the least.

BUT GOD...

Besides all the millions of other good things that have happened in my life, this blog is dedicated to the work things!

Starting this year with God changing my head and heart about IT. I attribute  this to God, cause nothing in me was excited about this field since the very beginning, in 1999 when started studying. Yes I had momentary achievements, but I longed to do community work, arts, children, travel, etc... For the last 4 years coming alive out on the mission field, a real dread was in my heart to come back to IT.

So the first thing, was realising the areas that I need growth in, Time, Tasks, Order, Process, IT is the perfect school, and also a desire to begin to write my own story, put into words by a good friend of mine. I can't live fully while lugging debt. I will not grow up in taking responsibility if I continue another ten years in my parents house. I won't get rid of the debt, if I keep working for R2000 a month.

We did a crazy thing in our young adults prayer group and trust God for a certain amount of salary. Though it was higher than what I have ever before earned, I could justify it. I would be able to move out, pay for medication, and begin to move forward if I had that amount. I began job hunting with the desire to get a job, that i can learn, grow, be challenged, that does things properly, and that pays enough. Although I wondered am I turning my back on missions, I knew I had to take a step. If God meant me to be in missions in this season even if I sent my CV for a job, he would then close that door and miraculously provide for my debt.If he meant for me to work, he would open up that door. Either way God would have his way, but I couldnt sit and twiddle my thumbs and do nothing because of fear of doing the wrong thing for years on end.

I went for about 3 interviews, then I wrote on Facebook, went for an interview today, not asking for jobs because I really was still a bit hesitant about working in IT, then a friend inboxed me to mail my cv to this company. I asked what is the position for, he didn't know but asked me to ask the girl I was mailing. She then passed my CV on, became my friend on email and FB. I had 3 different interviews for 2 different positions, then thought I didnt get the job, and then that turned around and I got the job for the position I am in now for the salary I wanted. The position I am in now, is exactly what I needed to grow in times, tasks, process. The company I work for works according to best practices so everything is done properly, documented and continuous improvement, every employee is encouraged to grow. I have a super manager :) I've made big mistakes already, but I think it was divine because it was lifelong issues that needed to be addressed and I am working at it and becoming a better person.

A year ago I would not have been able to imagine myself in IT, and now I am happy. Of course I still long for the mission field. But I also enjoy learning, and growing and interacting with the various people at my work locally and internationally. I know that this is where I am meant to be for this season. I also know that God has his hand on me, that this was divinely orchestrated by God and that he is better than good. Meeting my needs, my wants, my desires. I could not have landed a job like this for myself. I didn't believe in myself concerning IT enough to be able to do what I am doing. But daily I am becoming who he always saw me as...

Who would have thought I'd be here? The one who knows the end from the beginning. The one who has written all the days ordained for me in His book before one of them came to be. The one who has searched me and knows me. How does one say thank you to God. How do you say thank you to a God who keeps rolling out a red carpet before you  and treating you like a queen and seeing all the potential in you even before you realise it. I can say thank you, but it seems not enough. Thank You Lord. Thank you Lord.
Thank you for your faithfulness, thank you for your grace. I do not deserve it, yet you favour me.

Thank you for your cross and your love. towards me, I think I am beginning to get it, but still not there yet. But Lord as you are blessing me, do not leave my heart the same.I offer my heart back to you, may I become pleasing unto you!