17 June 2007
Thought I should record this tribute, both (I think) have heard these words, but I guess I want it written down so that it can be a reminder to me too...
Perhaps some will be shocked at me saying Fathers, but here's an update, my real biological dad died when I was 5 months old, my mom remarried when I was 4 years old and My current dad adopted me too...
Joey Eksteen.
I don't know you, not at all, I heard you were a great person, that many people were drawn to you, that you were warm and friendly and made alot of jokes. Most of my life I dont think about you, and almost wished I never knew you because I guess I was content with life as it is, and can't imagine having another father, what would you have been like, stricter than the father I have... So for most of my life you were just a name, not even knowing where your grave is only going when my parents take me and a reminder when people meet me who knew you, most of the time I felt uncomfortable with questions or saying I have 3 sets of grandparents, or my father died and why I dont even know, it's not like I was saying my father left.
Recently, I asked my mom if there were signs, and she said the week before you died you did alot of things, buying new furniture, bonding with all your school kids who travelled bus. Even more recently I heard something about your death that freaked me out and which I still need to confirm but told my friends, who one gave another view of that news which really melted my heart.
Today I decided to join my parents at their church to honour my father at their Father's Day service. It came to the part where you put a flower in the wreath for a Fathe who died. I thought I'm not going to go just because its said in front I must, also I dont want all the comments "why am I going up if I have a father"...I'll honour you in my own way... Then last minute telling my sis, Should I go, and She said Yes, it's not about the people.
Anyway I hope you like the red flower I picked. I just want to say sorry, sorry for surpressing your memory. It's not your fault you died. I'm sure you would have loved me, thats why you had me. It is hard to know how to think or feel about someone you dont know at all except for photos and even that I'm not sure where they are. But I just want to say Happy Fathers Day Dad, I'm not even sure where you are, what life you lived and if you'll be in heaven when I get there, but regardless, you made me, and there are many attributes of you in me, and you decided to have a child and that was me, and I'm sure I get my jokes and love for people from you, and so for the 26 years I havent honoured you I want to say I'm sorry, but also want to say that although I dont know you and wont have that opportunity, I do love you, and thank you for deciding to have me, and for having loved my mother. Thankyou for the wonderful Eksteen family I have in George because of you. Thankyou for responding to the unction to sort out things for my mom before you died. Thankyou even for the inheritance you left, even though i totally messed it up. Thankyou Joey Eksteen. Thankyou Dad. Wherever you are I thank you, I honour you and I love you. God I just want to say thank you for your perfect plan for my life, and the father you have given to make me a part of who I am today.
Aubrey De Wet
Wow, what can I say. Lots of fights, but lots of Love, which outshines every silly argument or fear. Most men do not adopt their wives children. And even if they do, they dont take them on as their own. Though there have been times I have felt insecure of my place in the family when comparing (something I do and know I shouldnt) I can not think of a time you have ever made me feel as though I am not your real daughter... I dont doubt my place in your home and life. And love you lots.
I wish to take back all those negative words and letters I wrote(but never gave) in my teenage years, and wish for you nothing but Love, God, Strength, Wisdome, Favour, Prosperity, Hope, Joy, Blessings... You are such an example of a humble servant. And though you have been hurt by man I really pray that you will realise your selflessness is honoured God! You are so strong and solid. I love the fact that if we have a problem and are stuck somewhere, you want us to call you. That is such a reassurance. I love the fact that you love my mother, and that you show it, and that you actually take times to bless her by cooking cleaning, etc. and not losing your manliness, You guys really show me the picture of a biblical marriage, where the wife submits to the husband, but the husband too loves her like Christ loved the church by laying his life down... I love the fact too that when we argue it's not about winning the argument, and that you come back and tell me if you were wrong, or you tell me that you didnt want to fight, or allow me to approach you if I still have an issue, you are real and make yourself vulnerable. Daddy, You are Great. And I love you lots, and I'm so glad I have you and dont really want anyone else than you. Thanks too for being strict. If you werent I would done even worse things than I did, and I love the fact that I've learnt to respect others home situations because of ours.. Love you Dad, I really pray that you will grow in God too, that you will realise that all those questions and hurts and issues He wants to bear. But just want to say I see the fruits in your life that we all so desire :) ...Also Stephen Curtis Chapman and the guy who blogs for Purpose Driven Life shares that those who adopt share a part of Gods heart because we are adopted into his family, and therefore those that adopt are doing something that God himself has done. Again, you didnt have to adopt me, but you did. You didnt have to love me like your own child, but you did. I love you Dad.
And lastly...
Father God, Abba, My Daddy (in Heaven)
When I think about the Lord
How He saved me, How he raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the uttermost
When I think about the Lord
How He picked me up and turned me around
How He set my feet on solid ground
It makes me wanna shout,
"Hallelujah, thank you Jesus,
Lord you're worthy of all the glory,And all the honor, and all the praise
Oh Father, thank you for picking me up and turning me around and loving me even in my darkest nights, and making things clear, and answering my questions, and meeting me, and holding me, and not giving up on me, Thank you Lord. Thank You Dad.
I only realised when i started this blog that I forgot to think about you today in this regards, and Lord I just want to say You trully are a Perfect Father and you Trully are who you say you are in the Word. And Lord I just wanna ask that you will continue to reveal your heart to those who are searching for truth. I Pray Father that you will remove any strongholds, barriers, and blinders the enemy is attempting to put on their lives but Trully God that They will KNOW YOU... Thank you for that Revelation you gave me in PE 2004, That You are my Father, as the word says you are a Father to the Fatherless, and when my dad died, you stepped in. You trully did, though I didnt really know and accept you till years later, looking back I can see how you protected me from so much and even where I made wrong choices, it didnt turn out the worst. God I love you, and Lord I dont want to be a person of words, but of action. I really want to live out what I believe and think and it's so hard, Lord dont stop working in my life, dont stop pruning me (hectic request) Lord thanks so much for your love. It changes my heart, it softens me. Its what gets me to keep on keeping on. Keep using my life to share that love with the whole world. In Jesus Name.
Love You Dad, and I honour you! In Jesus Name! Amen.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Teachers Strike...
I may be very misinformed about this as because no. 1 I've been so busy this past months havent been able to sit down and properly read the newspaper, or speak to teachers or even my parents about this... But just going to blog some of my thoughts on this... and may update this post again when I have more info...
But I definitely agree teachers should get paid more! Thats why all our teachers are leaving to the UK...But with striking for more than a couple of days my question is who has to pay for this at the end of the day. Right now the teachers arent budging, the government isnt budging, but who pays. As usual, the children. The youth.
In my final year of school we didnt have a maths teacher for like 6 months, and had one Physics teacher who taught 3 classes in one teaching HG and SG at the same time because of Rationalisation at the time -> The government deciding to shuffle teachers round. Their agendas were met but who suffered, we did.
Please consider the youth in all your decisions, you so busy fighting for freedom, but your freedom is putting bondages on others. We are the future of Cape Town, South Africa, The world. And I am not making this statement to the teachers but to all... Abortion activists, Policy Makers, MTV (we know your no. 1 market is our kids, but please realise they your kids you are affecting too), Church goers, etc.etc...
Back to the strike topic? How will the government give the teachers their 12% increase? Where does the money come from. I realise everyone is saying look at the politicians pockets, but if they took of their salaries then that is heading in the direction of communism where the doctor and the streetworker gets paid the same. There needs to be something to work towards...
I speak under correction but the Model C schools teachers get paid by the pupils school fees? Is that why they not really marching with ? In normal schools does the school fees go towards salaries eventually? Why not force kids to pay their school fees and if they cant then they can make arrangements with the school. I know when I was at school (and I was at a Private, Model C and State schools) there were many who could more than afford it who didnt pay their school fees)...
I do love the teachers for putting up with todays young people, I was one for 6 months and valued the good teachers and got irritated with the rude teachers for not realising the position of influence they have and the way their words are affecting young peoples lives. I went to visit one of my ex pupils Friday whose 17 now! he was 12 when I last saw him... But guys can we come up with a solution that does not affect the June Exams, the young people. Is not having school for 2 weeks really the only way to be heard?
[[disclaimer, I will be asking around more and getting more info to form my final opinion of this situation...]]
But I definitely agree teachers should get paid more! Thats why all our teachers are leaving to the UK...But with striking for more than a couple of days my question is who has to pay for this at the end of the day. Right now the teachers arent budging, the government isnt budging, but who pays. As usual, the children. The youth.
In my final year of school we didnt have a maths teacher for like 6 months, and had one Physics teacher who taught 3 classes in one teaching HG and SG at the same time because of Rationalisation at the time -> The government deciding to shuffle teachers round. Their agendas were met but who suffered, we did.
Please consider the youth in all your decisions, you so busy fighting for freedom, but your freedom is putting bondages on others. We are the future of Cape Town, South Africa, The world. And I am not making this statement to the teachers but to all... Abortion activists, Policy Makers, MTV (we know your no. 1 market is our kids, but please realise they your kids you are affecting too), Church goers, etc.etc...
Back to the strike topic? How will the government give the teachers their 12% increase? Where does the money come from. I realise everyone is saying look at the politicians pockets, but if they took of their salaries then that is heading in the direction of communism where the doctor and the streetworker gets paid the same. There needs to be something to work towards...
I speak under correction but the Model C schools teachers get paid by the pupils school fees? Is that why they not really marching with ? In normal schools does the school fees go towards salaries eventually? Why not force kids to pay their school fees and if they cant then they can make arrangements with the school. I know when I was at school (and I was at a Private, Model C and State schools) there were many who could more than afford it who didnt pay their school fees)...
I do love the teachers for putting up with todays young people, I was one for 6 months and valued the good teachers and got irritated with the rude teachers for not realising the position of influence they have and the way their words are affecting young peoples lives. I went to visit one of my ex pupils Friday whose 17 now! he was 12 when I last saw him... But guys can we come up with a solution that does not affect the June Exams, the young people. Is not having school for 2 weeks really the only way to be heard?
[[disclaimer, I will be asking around more and getting more info to form my final opinion of this situation...]]
Saturday, June 16, 2007
New Blog - Chandre's Places
Thought Id share the pics of the places I've been and love :)
http://chandresplaces.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
http://chandresplaces.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
Friday, June 8, 2007
End of Year Function - Smile or no smile?
Just found these nice pics on Jodie's facebook page of the end of year function in Klapmuts/Wellington last year. These pics are quite funny because I dont normally like smiling for photos and yet i give this big happy clappy type smile and then the other one where I'm trying to look serious, looks like I'm going to burst out laughing anyway... Also it's amazing if you see pics of me in Feb vs November (this one) picked up a lot of weight! (ok but at least I'm healthier now)
Found another pic, this one I am including because it has the beautiful mountains we have (think that is the Franschoek/Wellington mountains in the background) and the Cape Dutch Style buildings (would love to own one ;)
And another just of the mountains :)
Found another pic, this one I am including because it has the beautiful mountains we have (think that is the Franschoek/Wellington mountains in the background) and the Cape Dutch Style buildings (would love to own one ;)
And another just of the mountains :)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Current Favourites
I will probably continually edit this post so that I have one running post and not many about the same thing...
29 May 2007 - Current favourites...
* Food: Well besides Chiprolls (All time Favourite), the new current favourite which is at last a healthy alternative is Kauai's Princess Sandwich (Wholewheat roll with carrots, tomato, special mayo type sauce, avo and chicken, not sure if there's cheese too - also a good mood food so affects your mood), plus their Pacific Passion moothie (mmmm, i crave for this alot, has pineapple in it). Also like believe it or not stopping to put petrol in, and buying a hot choc which I drink on the way in bumper2bumper traffic to work! (that seems to be the only time of day I like hot choc) -> coffee wise - The Ellis Brown milkpowder type at work - now thats a bad habit i need to get off (that plus the chip roll habit)
* Music: Hillsong United keeps ringing in my head - Lead me to the Cross sung by Brooke Fraser on All of the Above CD. - then I will live to know you - on Look to You CD, and then on the United we stand CD - Came to my rescue, From the Inside Out and Fire Fall down...
* TV: Prison Break has taken the Number One Slot currently, I just love it. I also love how they have sort of kept Michael Schofields character clean and how they sort of keep the christian references clean instead of what they do in other movies/series... Perhaps I'm missing stuff, but besides some of the gore, I can tend to watch this story without regretting anything afterwards.
29 May 2007 - Current favourites...
* Food: Well besides Chiprolls (All time Favourite), the new current favourite which is at last a healthy alternative is Kauai's Princess Sandwich (Wholewheat roll with carrots, tomato, special mayo type sauce, avo and chicken, not sure if there's cheese too - also a good mood food so affects your mood), plus their Pacific Passion moothie (mmmm, i crave for this alot, has pineapple in it). Also like believe it or not stopping to put petrol in, and buying a hot choc which I drink on the way in bumper2bumper traffic to work! (that seems to be the only time of day I like hot choc) -> coffee wise - The Ellis Brown milkpowder type at work - now thats a bad habit i need to get off (that plus the chip roll habit)
* Music: Hillsong United keeps ringing in my head - Lead me to the Cross sung by Brooke Fraser on All of the Above CD. - then I will live to know you - on Look to You CD, and then on the United we stand CD - Came to my rescue, From the Inside Out and Fire Fall down...
* TV: Prison Break has taken the Number One Slot currently, I just love it. I also love how they have sort of kept Michael Schofields character clean and how they sort of keep the christian references clean instead of what they do in other movies/series... Perhaps I'm missing stuff, but besides some of the gore, I can tend to watch this story without regretting anything afterwards.
Conviction and Living Out those Convictions and Righteousness
Just shared these points with someone else and thought I'd add it here to be a reminder to me too :)
No. 1) It's not how much you know that matters but how much you live what you know...
No. 2) With that in mind know that what you know will be challenged. Or you can feel confident on where you at based on what you know but it's only when we are challenged that we trully see what we know. (And when challenged and fall, even repeatedly... don't allow yourself to say well clearly you will never change! Keep getting up, keep trying again and you will build the resistance you need to overcome, challenges are a time of living out, practising what we know in our heads and hearts)
No. 3) With regards to righteousness, it's just baby steps in the right direction with God's help of course. It's not having pride about how great you think you are but instead remaining humble and working through your issues.... And you may not see all at once, but the ones that you do see, act on your convictions.(also emphasis on YOUR convictions, we all have different areas in our lives that are highlighted or standing out) if you know there's something that you need to change you have one of 2 choices... A) Act on your conviction, begin to work at it, until that isnt' a part of your life, "bad habit", weight anymore, even find someone who will keep you accountable till you're through it or B) Silence the voice of conscious in you, supress the knowledge of doing the right thing, until you hardly hear it anymore.(this happens bit by bit as we continually not do the thing we feeling convicted about)[NOT THE RECOMMENDED OPTION] We don't become righteous over night, but with God's help and by His grace we are able to overcome whatever is thrown at us, and this is not just so we can be "kwaai" in our own rights, but so that we can be a blessing, a help, etc. to the next person... You doing well in your work and studies is not just a blessing to you and your fam and future fam, but to all who work under you... Because as you grow, you have more to give to others...
No. 1) It's not how much you know that matters but how much you live what you know...
No. 2) With that in mind know that what you know will be challenged. Or you can feel confident on where you at based on what you know but it's only when we are challenged that we trully see what we know. (And when challenged and fall, even repeatedly... don't allow yourself to say well clearly you will never change! Keep getting up, keep trying again and you will build the resistance you need to overcome, challenges are a time of living out, practising what we know in our heads and hearts)
No. 3) With regards to righteousness, it's just baby steps in the right direction with God's help of course. It's not having pride about how great you think you are but instead remaining humble and working through your issues.... And you may not see all at once, but the ones that you do see, act on your convictions.(also emphasis on YOUR convictions, we all have different areas in our lives that are highlighted or standing out) if you know there's something that you need to change you have one of 2 choices... A) Act on your conviction, begin to work at it, until that isnt' a part of your life, "bad habit", weight anymore, even find someone who will keep you accountable till you're through it or B) Silence the voice of conscious in you, supress the knowledge of doing the right thing, until you hardly hear it anymore.(this happens bit by bit as we continually not do the thing we feeling convicted about)[NOT THE RECOMMENDED OPTION] We don't become righteous over night, but with God's help and by His grace we are able to overcome whatever is thrown at us, and this is not just so we can be "kwaai" in our own rights, but so that we can be a blessing, a help, etc. to the next person... You doing well in your work and studies is not just a blessing to you and your fam and future fam, but to all who work under you... Because as you grow, you have more to give to others...
Thursday, May 24, 2007
I make known the end from the beginning...
Today I had an awesome revelation which ties in with some other ones that I havent added yet...
It first started with something negative... I really put off this project I had to do till the very last minute, I took a day's leave at work to work on it but only began working on it 2pm...and it had to be submitted online before 7pm (after I've had the project for 2 months. The topic of the project was Bad Management leading to Business Failure. And because of the very short time I had, I handed in a project that has a well referenced, well written, in my own words, INTRODUCTION, but the rest of the essay was pretty sloppy and I didnt even get a chance to do the conclusion. In my head I am still sitting with the thoughts of I want to write this and that, but I just have to tell myself just get over it, accept the bad mark I'm going to get...
With that outline sketched, I begin thinking "why do I do this to myself" Why do I go out last night when I know I have this project due? Why do I not do it until the very last, Why do I feel I can only do it when it's at the last minute... I then thought perhaps the project should have been "Bad Management leads to Personal failure" I would probably have written a book of mistakes, because till today I find myself falling sometimes for the same situations I thought I have overcome! And then I got a little bit sad... And knew Dont think that! Or dont think to write that report on how I disordered I am, even got a chronic disease out of stress!...
Well just then without me choosing to think about it, God brought to memory this scripture that Pastor Gavin always preaches about...
Isaiah 46:10 A
10 I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
{{Smile}}
That Stopped those negative thoughts right in it's track...I may keep falling and look at my past and say look how I messed up... But God when he made me He made known the end from the beginning, In otherwords If God wrote the little essay I thought about writing (which in fact he did in His book) He begins with the conclusion first...He already wrote the ending before he started with the beginning... So all these challenges and setbacks are nothing compared to the Glory He has ahead for me! So I am just going to keep getting up and moving forward... Doesnt matter if I am falling more than others, or less than others, or whatever... I know that my God has made known my end from my beginning, and as Jeremiah 29:11 says He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a HOPE and a FUTURE.
Now I'm thinking of that Mary Mary Song.
I Just Can't GIVE UP NOW...
Come to far from where I've started from...
Nobody told me, the road would be easy...
But I DONT believe, he's brought me this far, to leave me...
And so I said there were revelations I had that I didnt write down yet, I guess its because I'm still in the moment with them still mulling on it and trying to live it (because thats what counts at the end of the day, not how much you know, but how much you live!)
I've been wrestling with some things in this past time,things that I'm not entirely sure how to handle. Things that remind me of the past, yet it's different and I'm different, but at the same time it's so easy to go from being ok to not ok. Things that have been making me feel like I can't go to God, not because I cant go to God, but because I'm already thinking what I think God is going to say... I think?
Anyway it started Sunday with God saying through the Parable of the talents and my pastor phrasing God's response to the third servant exactly the way I tend to think and then get a response from the people I have said this to...
Matthew 25:24 -27
24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' 26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
Well the way Pastor Gareth phrased it was this servant says to the "Master, I knew you are a hard man..." And the Master says, Well seeing as you already made up your mind that I am like that, why didnt you at least then put the money in the bank"
A couple of things stood out, there's at least 2 important people (my mom being one) in my life who I've already said this is what I thought they thought and they immediately respond "So if that's what you think I'm going to say/do/think?...". It immediately resonated in my mind that I do that... And then it hit me that I was doing that to God, in this situation that I'm struggling with (without knowing that i was doing it, but I was doing it) I had already decided that I cannot take this to God, because if I do this is what he's going to say...(it wasnt in so many words, but because there was fear to go to him I can look back and say that I was already deciding what God is going to say/do/etc. about my situation)... And also I felt that I first need to make the situation right before I can go to him, which isnt right either (and although i knew that I should go to God regardless - head knowledge) I was feeling like I can't...And yet God is not man, He is constant, he doesn't love me more when I'm good and less when I'm bad, He loves me regardless... Why was I afraid. To get anywhere, even in this situation I need him, whatever the outcome is... And so I cannot be all Good with God and then when I hit a storm then all of a sudden I'm back to my initial I'm challenged by my view of God, because you see, God doesnt change, in fact the bible says he remains faithful, even when we're not!. Because that's who he is...
So Sometime in the week I thought it's not good enough that I have a couple of scriptures somewhere in the back of my head that gives me goosebumps, it's time that I actually take it to heart and live it and believe it, and remind myself of that word, so that when storms come I know who God is, I remember the word I cling on the word... Some of the scriptures that God has given me in the past couple of years: (it's not good enough to say oh that is such a pretty scripture, it's to know God is saying this to me, therefore this is what he wants to do in my life, this is what He decided already for me even before I was created)
Isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
(Thought of this scripture again today. God is saying, Chandre EVEN THOUGH, the mountains are shaken, My UNFAILING LOVE for you will not be shaken. Even if it feels the world is falling around you, even though you keep falling, and you keep facing storms, I have made a COVENANT -wow- of PEACE with/for you... So that covenant will not be removed!)
11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise, [a]
your foundations with sapphires. [b]
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
(God wants to build me up again, every wall in my life he wants to build up again with precious stones, despite all the bruises, hurts, mistakes, even my own, he will build me up again, and further it says Great will be my Childrens Peace, the promise is not just for me but for my children and my childrens children - God you are awesome!)
So Just to recap...
God has made known the end from the beginning... He already wrote the end... He has those plans to give us a hope and a future, before we even thought, breathed, lived. So when I'm going through this stuff, who am I going to believe, am I going to believe me, or my past, or the storms, or am I going to look to God who remains faithful, even when I'm not who is constant, who has promises for me, who is not a man that he could lie...
Oh yes, then sometime in this revelation he showed me again the scripture of Isaiah
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts
His thoughts are not my thoughts, His thoughts are Higher than my thoughts...I cannot decide with my carnal mind what God is going to do an think, it's so cool beacuse this chapter where this comes from begins like this:
Isaiah 55
Invitation to the Thirsty
1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
That's God's heart... All who are thirsty, come... I dont think the way you do, in fact my ways are higher than your ways - which again goes with one of the 2 scriptures God has given me for 2007
Proverbs 3
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight
Dont depend on the way you think, Trust him...
Ok, I think this is all about Tuesday and then I had dance theory and Lucinda gives us Luke 6:46 and before she even reads it I think I know this already "Why do you call me Lord Lord and do not do what I say..." But just before she reads she said listen with your ears, but also listen with the ears of your heart...I decided to try that, and though I didnt think I can get new revelation on this scripture, than I already know it's about if you going to say He's your Lord you have to do the word and not just hear it... But inside I asked God to please show me something new in that scripture
Luke 6:46
46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. 48He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."
What stood out for me was the storms that are still going to come. You not just going to read the word and never face a challenge. We going to face challenges! But are we just reading the word and saying wow what a lovely scripture, and then going back to daily life and then being totally surprised when storms hit, and maybe being hit off your feet. Or do I take the word and Storm or no storm, and put it into practice, make it become a part of me, not just a nice thought, wishful thinking, pipe dream, but Yes, GOD says in His word, I am the apple of his eye, I am the Head and not the tail, I am his beloved, He says neither death, nor life, nor sickness, nor angels nor demons, etc.etc...NOTHING can separate me from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus. If I live this way, if I put the word I receive in practise then I will stand, but if I just hear the word, that's not enough...It's not enough to stand... And storms will come in fact they come daily... What we learnt at dance on this is, that all God asks of us is to build a strong foundation, that's how we stand.
Ok so that's Tuesday...
Last night, I thought agian about this situation, all the ifs, and buts and hows? how is it going to work out Lord? And God just whispered - Surrender.
Before i get the answers I need to surrender, I need to stop fighting, and kicking and screaming, and shaking my head (ok this sounds a bit extreme, but I'm picturing someone pushed into the deep end of the pool and can only doggy paddle)...well I need to stop doing that when I come to God... because if I just surrender. just stop fighting. Just stop pushing, stop looking away. And just Stop. I will see Hey, it's my Father!... I will see his eyes of love... I will know that God knows whats best...
Before we go to the point of how its all going to work out, we need to get to the point of TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART! in ALL your ways acknowledge him. its at the point of surrender that we can hear God's heart for us. Its when we give up or like people always say it's when I let go and let God...That's when he can do something even greater in my life that i could even imagine...It's when it becomes Your will be done Lord...Even Jesus. when he thought of the cross, it became too much, he was so anxious he sweated blood. But when he thought what laid beyond the cross, that his death would bring us life, that we would all be able overcome whatever threatens to make us fall, if he goes through it, He said "Yet not my will Lord, but your will be done"
Ok, so That was last night, my answer will come when I surrender... And then as said before today's revelation was the end from the beginning.
I dont know if anyone else who reads this will understand, I trust you can see how the thread runs through all of this... Again a little summary...
SUMMARY
Storms are going to come. And we may fall, in fact we may fall repeatedly. In fact, if you going to grow in your knowledge, that knowledge is going to be challenged. It's going to be tested (James 1 - count it pure joy when you face trials - because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance). However Dont wait for the trials to come before you live out the word. Dont just hear the word, Live it, put it into practise. Those are God's words to you. It's not just a good idea, he actually wants to build you up. He actually wants to heal you. He meant it when he made that covenant with you but from your side you need to take that word and make it part of your life, build a solid foundation. And then when you are tested... You're going to be challenged, you going to look at your past, you may say why am I falling in this again, maybe I'll never make it through this... But that's not what God says...He says No, my child I already know the end, Get with me and I will make sure that though the mountains are shaken, my love for you will never be shaken.. My covenant of peace (the rebuilding restoring type of peace) will never be removed. But also know this, in those storms, satan may challenge your view of God, in fact that is the very thing he did to Eve, but didnt God say this? But God said this because he knew you'd be like him if you ate this, that's why he did this... Yes, friend...The enemy is even going to try and bring doubt about who God is and what he said about you...But you gotta know that God's ways arent yours, his thoughts, are higher than your thoughts... I once heard a saying " Don't doubt God, rather doubt your doubts..." And it's so true...
2 Tim 2: 13
if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.
Thats who he is...Faithful... Know your word. Live your word. Know God through the word. Doubt your doubts. Dont believe the lies. About God or about yourself. He loves you more than the whole world put together...Unfailing love.
The ball is in our court. God will not stop loving us. But we need to act on what we believe. Theres so much more he wants to do through us... The word says it is for Freedom that Christ set us free. Not to still sukkel with the same old same old. Let's take this walk to a whole nother level...
Chan
Promises...
It first started with something negative... I really put off this project I had to do till the very last minute, I took a day's leave at work to work on it but only began working on it 2pm...and it had to be submitted online before 7pm (after I've had the project for 2 months. The topic of the project was Bad Management leading to Business Failure. And because of the very short time I had, I handed in a project that has a well referenced, well written, in my own words, INTRODUCTION, but the rest of the essay was pretty sloppy and I didnt even get a chance to do the conclusion. In my head I am still sitting with the thoughts of I want to write this and that, but I just have to tell myself just get over it, accept the bad mark I'm going to get...
With that outline sketched, I begin thinking "why do I do this to myself" Why do I go out last night when I know I have this project due? Why do I not do it until the very last, Why do I feel I can only do it when it's at the last minute... I then thought perhaps the project should have been "Bad Management leads to Personal failure" I would probably have written a book of mistakes, because till today I find myself falling sometimes for the same situations I thought I have overcome! And then I got a little bit sad... And knew Dont think that! Or dont think to write that report on how I disordered I am, even got a chronic disease out of stress!...
Well just then without me choosing to think about it, God brought to memory this scripture that Pastor Gavin always preaches about...
Isaiah 46:10 A
10 I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
{{Smile}}
That Stopped those negative thoughts right in it's track...I may keep falling and look at my past and say look how I messed up... But God when he made me He made known the end from the beginning, In otherwords If God wrote the little essay I thought about writing (which in fact he did in His book) He begins with the conclusion first...He already wrote the ending before he started with the beginning... So all these challenges and setbacks are nothing compared to the Glory He has ahead for me! So I am just going to keep getting up and moving forward... Doesnt matter if I am falling more than others, or less than others, or whatever... I know that my God has made known my end from my beginning, and as Jeremiah 29:11 says He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a HOPE and a FUTURE.
Now I'm thinking of that Mary Mary Song.
I Just Can't GIVE UP NOW...
Come to far from where I've started from...
Nobody told me, the road would be easy...
But I DONT believe, he's brought me this far, to leave me...
And so I said there were revelations I had that I didnt write down yet, I guess its because I'm still in the moment with them still mulling on it and trying to live it (because thats what counts at the end of the day, not how much you know, but how much you live!)
I've been wrestling with some things in this past time,things that I'm not entirely sure how to handle. Things that remind me of the past, yet it's different and I'm different, but at the same time it's so easy to go from being ok to not ok. Things that have been making me feel like I can't go to God, not because I cant go to God, but because I'm already thinking what I think God is going to say... I think?
Anyway it started Sunday with God saying through the Parable of the talents and my pastor phrasing God's response to the third servant exactly the way I tend to think and then get a response from the people I have said this to...
Matthew 25:24 -27
24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' 26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
Well the way Pastor Gareth phrased it was this servant says to the "Master, I knew you are a hard man..." And the Master says, Well seeing as you already made up your mind that I am like that, why didnt you at least then put the money in the bank"
A couple of things stood out, there's at least 2 important people (my mom being one) in my life who I've already said this is what I thought they thought and they immediately respond "So if that's what you think I'm going to say/do/think?...". It immediately resonated in my mind that I do that... And then it hit me that I was doing that to God, in this situation that I'm struggling with (without knowing that i was doing it, but I was doing it) I had already decided that I cannot take this to God, because if I do this is what he's going to say...(it wasnt in so many words, but because there was fear to go to him I can look back and say that I was already deciding what God is going to say/do/etc. about my situation)... And also I felt that I first need to make the situation right before I can go to him, which isnt right either (and although i knew that I should go to God regardless - head knowledge) I was feeling like I can't...And yet God is not man, He is constant, he doesn't love me more when I'm good and less when I'm bad, He loves me regardless... Why was I afraid. To get anywhere, even in this situation I need him, whatever the outcome is... And so I cannot be all Good with God and then when I hit a storm then all of a sudden I'm back to my initial I'm challenged by my view of God, because you see, God doesnt change, in fact the bible says he remains faithful, even when we're not!. Because that's who he is...
So Sometime in the week I thought it's not good enough that I have a couple of scriptures somewhere in the back of my head that gives me goosebumps, it's time that I actually take it to heart and live it and believe it, and remind myself of that word, so that when storms come I know who God is, I remember the word I cling on the word... Some of the scriptures that God has given me in the past couple of years: (it's not good enough to say oh that is such a pretty scripture, it's to know God is saying this to me, therefore this is what he wants to do in my life, this is what He decided already for me even before I was created)
Isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
(Thought of this scripture again today. God is saying, Chandre EVEN THOUGH, the mountains are shaken, My UNFAILING LOVE for you will not be shaken. Even if it feels the world is falling around you, even though you keep falling, and you keep facing storms, I have made a COVENANT -wow- of PEACE with/for you... So that covenant will not be removed!)
11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise, [a]
your foundations with sapphires. [b]
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
(God wants to build me up again, every wall in my life he wants to build up again with precious stones, despite all the bruises, hurts, mistakes, even my own, he will build me up again, and further it says Great will be my Childrens Peace, the promise is not just for me but for my children and my childrens children - God you are awesome!)
So Just to recap...
God has made known the end from the beginning... He already wrote the end... He has those plans to give us a hope and a future, before we even thought, breathed, lived. So when I'm going through this stuff, who am I going to believe, am I going to believe me, or my past, or the storms, or am I going to look to God who remains faithful, even when I'm not who is constant, who has promises for me, who is not a man that he could lie...
Oh yes, then sometime in this revelation he showed me again the scripture of Isaiah
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts
His thoughts are not my thoughts, His thoughts are Higher than my thoughts...I cannot decide with my carnal mind what God is going to do an think, it's so cool beacuse this chapter where this comes from begins like this:
Isaiah 55
Invitation to the Thirsty
1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
That's God's heart... All who are thirsty, come... I dont think the way you do, in fact my ways are higher than your ways - which again goes with one of the 2 scriptures God has given me for 2007
Proverbs 3
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight
Dont depend on the way you think, Trust him...
Ok, I think this is all about Tuesday and then I had dance theory and Lucinda gives us Luke 6:46 and before she even reads it I think I know this already "Why do you call me Lord Lord and do not do what I say..." But just before she reads she said listen with your ears, but also listen with the ears of your heart...I decided to try that, and though I didnt think I can get new revelation on this scripture, than I already know it's about if you going to say He's your Lord you have to do the word and not just hear it... But inside I asked God to please show me something new in that scripture
Luke 6:46
46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. 48He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."
What stood out for me was the storms that are still going to come. You not just going to read the word and never face a challenge. We going to face challenges! But are we just reading the word and saying wow what a lovely scripture, and then going back to daily life and then being totally surprised when storms hit, and maybe being hit off your feet. Or do I take the word and Storm or no storm, and put it into practice, make it become a part of me, not just a nice thought, wishful thinking, pipe dream, but Yes, GOD says in His word, I am the apple of his eye, I am the Head and not the tail, I am his beloved, He says neither death, nor life, nor sickness, nor angels nor demons, etc.etc...NOTHING can separate me from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus. If I live this way, if I put the word I receive in practise then I will stand, but if I just hear the word, that's not enough...It's not enough to stand... And storms will come in fact they come daily... What we learnt at dance on this is, that all God asks of us is to build a strong foundation, that's how we stand.
Ok so that's Tuesday...
Last night, I thought agian about this situation, all the ifs, and buts and hows? how is it going to work out Lord? And God just whispered - Surrender.
Before i get the answers I need to surrender, I need to stop fighting, and kicking and screaming, and shaking my head (ok this sounds a bit extreme, but I'm picturing someone pushed into the deep end of the pool and can only doggy paddle)...well I need to stop doing that when I come to God... because if I just surrender. just stop fighting. Just stop pushing, stop looking away. And just Stop. I will see Hey, it's my Father!... I will see his eyes of love... I will know that God knows whats best...
Before we go to the point of how its all going to work out, we need to get to the point of TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART! in ALL your ways acknowledge him. its at the point of surrender that we can hear God's heart for us. Its when we give up or like people always say it's when I let go and let God...That's when he can do something even greater in my life that i could even imagine...It's when it becomes Your will be done Lord...Even Jesus. when he thought of the cross, it became too much, he was so anxious he sweated blood. But when he thought what laid beyond the cross, that his death would bring us life, that we would all be able overcome whatever threatens to make us fall, if he goes through it, He said "Yet not my will Lord, but your will be done"
Ok, so That was last night, my answer will come when I surrender... And then as said before today's revelation was the end from the beginning.
I dont know if anyone else who reads this will understand, I trust you can see how the thread runs through all of this... Again a little summary...
SUMMARY
Storms are going to come. And we may fall, in fact we may fall repeatedly. In fact, if you going to grow in your knowledge, that knowledge is going to be challenged. It's going to be tested (James 1 - count it pure joy when you face trials - because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance). However Dont wait for the trials to come before you live out the word. Dont just hear the word, Live it, put it into practise. Those are God's words to you. It's not just a good idea, he actually wants to build you up. He actually wants to heal you. He meant it when he made that covenant with you but from your side you need to take that word and make it part of your life, build a solid foundation. And then when you are tested... You're going to be challenged, you going to look at your past, you may say why am I falling in this again, maybe I'll never make it through this... But that's not what God says...He says No, my child I already know the end, Get with me and I will make sure that though the mountains are shaken, my love for you will never be shaken.. My covenant of peace (the rebuilding restoring type of peace) will never be removed. But also know this, in those storms, satan may challenge your view of God, in fact that is the very thing he did to Eve, but didnt God say this? But God said this because he knew you'd be like him if you ate this, that's why he did this... Yes, friend...The enemy is even going to try and bring doubt about who God is and what he said about you...But you gotta know that God's ways arent yours, his thoughts, are higher than your thoughts... I once heard a saying " Don't doubt God, rather doubt your doubts..." And it's so true...
2 Tim 2: 13
if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.
Thats who he is...Faithful... Know your word. Live your word. Know God through the word. Doubt your doubts. Dont believe the lies. About God or about yourself. He loves you more than the whole world put together...Unfailing love.
The ball is in our court. God will not stop loving us. But we need to act on what we believe. Theres so much more he wants to do through us... The word says it is for Freedom that Christ set us free. Not to still sukkel with the same old same old. Let's take this walk to a whole nother level...
Chan
Promises...
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