The one thing I do have...

I may not have it all figured out, in fact the closer you come to me you realise just how much I dont know about life, about my own life, etc...but the one thing I do have is Jesus... And I've seen in trusting him the times I did with all my heart, those were the times there was no confusion and major doors and determining factors were opened up to me.

I may not have money right now, in fact all I have is 0 in my accounts and one minus, and most of the time when I do actually go out it's on the blessing of a friend, and it really takes getting used to cause I find myself calculating how much I earned in the 4 years that I worked and if only I had saved that money, but the one thing I do have is Jesus and since having him I always have what I need, even if the money comes through in the 11th hour, God has been pretty faithful, and I guess he is now teaching me to be faithful in the little...(and not freak out when you dont know how you going to pay for this and that)

I may not have a "carlos" now, and may not have had anyone significent for going on 9 years now, and even though people may say just hang in there, you sometimes like Geez God was I so messed up that its going on 10 years of fixing me? (thats on the bad day), because most days I'm aware the one thing I do have is Jesus... (see my previous poem Gentleman for what I think he thinks about me) and he really is more than enough and really sometimes surpises me in the funniest ways with his love and about the long time, when I look back at each year the issues I've conquered, i can only say I am glad that those things are sorted and not a part of my life anymore, so am grateful to being made complete and grateful for having his love and yes part of me sometimes wants more, but I do have Jesus :)! and that really is enough!

I may not be ministering right now, or knowing exactly where I fit in the body of Christ in the scheme of things, and on some days being a sitting duck when it seems everyone is running around does seem like hey did I hear right? But the one thing I do have is Jesus...And in this time of taking a step back I could once again begin to hear him and am grateful that he speaks, it's not always the exact hey God where are you taking me answers that I want, but I've learnt that he sometimes holds back in giving us the end destination so we don't run ahead without him.

I may not always be organized, self confident, hey even happy, or exactly how people think a Christian should be (hey in that case a lady, a student, a coloured, etc.etc...) but the one thing I do have is Jesus...And the best thing he told me recently is that He thinks I'm ok, so I dont have to stand at the door and watch others dance and enjoy him and think hey I first have to fix this and that, but my God thinks I'm ok and because of that I know can just enjoy his presence and that is where I'm growing and find my boldness, discipline and joy that surpasses sorry....

There are more may nots and the one thing I have is Jesus...But for now this is all I'll leave you all with...

For those who dont have that one thing...I trust that you wouldnt just shut the door or go on what you've heard or your own opinion, but ask in your heart of hears this Jesus to reveal himself to you. I dont have to do any convincing. You just have to ask sincerely and he will show up in a way you would understand. May you find the one thing we loves hide and seek :) (there is a scripture that says the deep things are hidden so we will seek them out ->
A quote in a song -" It's the glory of God to hide, a matter... It's the glory of a king to search it out....I wanna search you out, I love the way you hide, so I can find you, I wanna search you out" - this is not the only place I read this, but this is what i recently listened to)

For those who do have that one thing, I pray that that one thing will be more important than all the other things we have in life... for that one thing is the reason why we are all hear and only in that one thing do we have life...

John 1:3-4 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.

And I know it's not always easy to maintain the balance in life, or even in our heads! but let us try.

Psalm 27
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

Some people know this yet dont see the sense of it...I dont know...In my case its this very one thing that gets me up and going again, even when I want out. Its the beauty of the Lord that is my life and my light in the midst of the darkness. I too have to fight to keep that one thing the one thing, in fact maybe alot of times other things win over, but this is my desire, what I seek that God would be the one that I dwell with and I thank him that from his side, nothing can seperate me from that love for as long as I live, to all who have received him, we become his children

John 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God