Long time no Blog...

There is so much that i need to update you on, but right now those thoughts need to keep whirling in my head till I have more time on my hands. For now let me just update you on my awesome time in God's presence last night and the things I have learnt or been reminded on.

Went to HP N1, because it was a worship evening... And really just needed uninteruppted worship session, and also the cool thing is that only know a few people so could dance and go on at the back and if anyone did look at me in a funny way, they probably won't see me again soon :)

Well after feeling so drained for a while, and really just desiring God to fill me again...I didnt even think I would dance at all, just sing and observe but the worship started with "Our God is Big" and then eventually they sang Desert song, and when they sang that I remembered where all this omgekrap feelings began, and remembered that a while back i was singing my lungs out and feeling like i need more, and that i am aksing God is there sin in my life, or what is the reason why I am feeling so omgekrap...And i can recall singing about being in the desert...But God is my victory...a while back driving my mom's car to my aunts house...Anyway then when my grandma died, that sunday it was just magnified for me, I need more Holy Spirit...I need a break through.. And then began working hectically on my studies, but decided to take a break from ministry so that i can seek his face for this month and sort out the other areas of my life that was lagging behind. Last week was a week of miracles despite me still needing that breakthrough and then last night because my friend said she would be dancing and because I sensed praise and worship is just what i need, I went...2 Hours of Praise and worship, was really good for me. These are the reminders God gave me in that time...

no.1. He never stopped loving me, in all my questions and business and even omgekrapness, I need to remember that Jesus still loves me (didnt doubt it but needed to be reminded of the way he sees and looks at me, his eyes, his heart, his smile, his arm around me)

no.2 Song my United -> "None by Jesus" Also a reminder. Stop looking, Only he i have and only He gave me his life. And All my delight is in him :)

no.3 the song written by the lady at HP, cant get to her name now...was in my head this week, who would have thought I would go and we would sing that song...

no.4 the new song she wrote was so appropriate to my situation. Sort of applying breaks that God was there all along but because you were listening and speaking loud in the crowds you couldn't hear His whisper

and lastly
No.5 during worship he reminded me of that image of the bride...and that just helped me to be the Chandre he sees in my worship...regardless of whatever people might think..I could see the lace gloves...So just began to dance and sing and smile :) and enjoy His beauty and know that I am beautiful in Him too... And the best part was that just as I got that revelation, the song changed to Savior King which has a line in the song...

"Let now your church shine as the bride
That you saw in your heart as you offered up your life"

:) And that was just what I needed to hear...Also enjoyed this

"I love you Lord, I worship you
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king"

Also really enjoyed my conversation with Miriam's mom, Christine afterwards. Great to be able to just talk and be heard and also just talk about how wonderful God is.

And now having said that today began the book of Psalms...Still need to blog all the other things i learn in Job, Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther, but getting there...

God has really been good to me this year, despite my making a big deal about certain things, I cannot doubt that it's been a year of miracles...

Jesus, I love you. I love you.
Thankyou for Your love. that was proven in you giving your very own life...
"the weight of my sin was on your cross"
Thankyou for the way you see me, despite the way I see me,
Thankyou for smiling down on me, or as Psalm 3 that i read today says" You bestow glory on me and lift up my head"

Thankyou for your love despite all, I am standing upon this rock. Everything else may fall away. People may label, misunderstand, do whatever to me, but You Father, will never leave nor forsake me. Thankyou that You are the hope on which I stand and cling to. And I know it's only upon the foundation of Christ that I can build any human relationships, if I look for what can only be found in You in people I will feel hurt,etc...So Lord I look to you even in being able to minister again and making the right decisions, and work and finances for next years studies, and finishing my btech THIS YEAR, Praise God...Also listening to Darlene singing " I'll trust in You...I'll trust in You"...

Thank You that you are our hope our everything, I pray that you will not only pour your love and wisdom and purposes in my life, but also in the lives of my family...Thank You for a new week in You my God...May you bless us, and even all our friends, in Jesus Name.

Amen