Call

My heart is still so far from where it should be
Selfishness and sin creeps in so quickly
And muddles up all my best intentions
Yet still you call, "Follow me!"

You say "Give it up, Lose your Life"
I look around, surely you can't use little frail old me?
But that is exactly how beautiful
your upside down gospel is.

You call cheaters, liars, adulterers and murderers
Zacheus, Judas Peter and Paul
All had the opportunity to meet
and be transformed by you.

A little bit of hope is enough to start a fire
that blazes across homes, communities and nations
You whisper in my ear
"Did you  forget who you are?"

"You are my daughter,(*son)
 You were made in my image
All the days ordained for you were written in my book
before one of them came to be!

I am with you, I will never leave you
And will work all things together for your good
Seek first my kingdom, my peace, my rest and and my call
and all these things, the desires of your heart will be added to you!"

I have a choice to hold onto my life
Let comfort, fear, insecurity, and deep down misery keep me bound
Or let go and say "Yes Lord, Here I am, Send me!"

I let go and let you complete my story, lead me?
One sucks the life out of me,
The other to a life I could not have made on my own,
Christ in me.

Here I stand again on the brink
of myself and your dream
I say "Yes Lord!"
You accept me with my sins and frailty.

Cause only moulded by You will I be
A shiny reflection of Your glory.
I don't know what or how or when
But I surrender once again, My Lord,Father and King

And so the world gets changed
One my one by broken people like me
Upside down gospel,
isn't it? :)

     - Chandré De Wet (21/06/2011)

Thoughts Update...

Been having a tough couple of days, which built up to me falling in old struggles again! But praise God for his faithfulness and me having learnt that the only safe place is in him. I now am beginning to see why God wants us to be like children. So we can take things one step at a time, so we can enjoy the moment, so we can trust with such innocence. So we don't overthink and stress over future and past. And as we do this we hear him, he enjoys us and he leads us. But when don't and want to resolve, or understand things or know what future holds too much, you can stress yourself out so much that it opens doors for enemy to attack you again, cause he knows you're not resting in, trusting in, depending on God anymore, but your own reasoning.

So ja thats that, but today I am better, ok, me falling made me worry that I'm right back in my past, but I'm not cause I know who my God is, and that he is still with me and that makes all the difference, to cry in his arm and realise that I need to keep my eyes fixed on him and in looking at him, peace is coming again.

On another note. Even though for years when ppl would say that one must enjoy your singleness, cause when u're married you won't have the opportunity to do e.g. missions, etc.etc...I always thought/ said yes, you say that now, but they look so happy feels like we're missing out... It's not that I hate being single, I don't. I know how to embrace life where I'm at and sort of make the most of it, but I do at times wish I had a companion and do have dreams, and for the romantic I am, did not imagine life to turn out this way, yet at the same time am grateful to God for letting me sort out my life, cause imagine i had gotten married at 23 as I wanted, would I be divorced today? or overwhelmed?

But lately trying to put myself in married shoes :) I realise what people mean, right now I can up and leave, I can dream and even follow my dream. I am ok with me, i love me, being with someone else makes me vulnerable (maybe that is the purpose of marriage, to die to self?). When I look at the people around me I see some balanced, others I see that esp.as a wife, you have to put your dreams aside. Well one married friend encouraged me it's not that you give up your dreams , its that you make new dreams together....

Anyway I don't think I'm ready. Says the girl who is turning 31 this year and was worried last year about the ten million children she wants :). But I am also learning that life is not about when you think you are ready or not. Its about staying close to God and serving and loving him and doing what he asks you to do. If it's his time, whether I think I  am ready or not, things will work out and he will speak. It's when I'm not staying close that everything looks scary and I'm tempted to take things in my own hands, despite that life has taught me over and over, me in control on life and love things is not a good thing!

So Ja, Hard as it is, I choose to trust you, even when I don't know what my future holds, I don't know how things are going to work out, I don't know where I will be next year :) lol. What I do know is if I stay close to you I will be in the perfect will of God and you make ALL things beautiful in your time, even the difficult, crosses. :)

God you are good. Love you!
Chan

What does worship mean...?

How it started?

Background:

So my friend shares this really hectic worship song with me, that brings presence of God everytime! Song is He's Alive - Suzy Yaraei and after a couple of days, I begin to feel but why do I need something to stimulate me to worship...Note at the same time I have been reading Exodus where Moses is meeting God on the mountain and the elders, and the cloud, and the people below with fear... Yet saying we will DO all that he commands us to do. So I began to say but what is worship, how do I become a John 4 - true worshipper as the bible says God desires. Yes I've heard countless sermons/seminars on it, but at the crux of the matter do I know what it means to worship God and am I a true worshipper. Or do I need other true worshippers worshipping God to kick me into worship mode, etc.etc... So the Sunday I say to my best friend, wish our worship leader could run a series of workshops called the Every Day Worshipper, cause so many times people connect worship with I am a talented singer so let me join the worship team, or Worship is Sunday Morning in the church... Or you have all these things you know in your head is worship, but trully only worship sunday morning. What is WORSHIP ? and how do I be a pleasing unto the Father true worshipper! Then as I was telling her was challenged recalling how an author (Arthur Burk) I like deals with things, like its an easy route to say I want to become a true worshipper, lets ask our worship leader to run workshops! Instead of saying God I am going to set out this time every day to learn afresh what it means to worship you, even if nothing happens in that time! I am going to keep faithfully coming to you, keep searching the word, and keep praying that you would give me a revelation of true worship.

(Just listening to Suzy Yaraei saying "We want to worship you, we want to worship you, with all our lives. All our lives to the next level, All our lives every day every night, all through the day and all through the night to worship You, Like we never could imagine - Oh won't you break us open, We've got so much more for you..." and later "Break us open... Pour out, Pour us out into the world... Teach us to worship you, Pour us out into... A Worship that will change EVERYTHING, change everything everywhere we go, Sounds of Heaven, signs and wonders is the sound of heaven, Oh the voice of the Lord through his people...Break us Open God, Pour Yourself out God, let yourself go, break us now..." )

So began me looking out for clues, revelation in terms of worship... And am going to keep putting them on here as I get them (so far they have been FB statuses) I have to admit in this time of writing I've been going through a bad patch, but that doesnt mean we stop learning and growing and am trusting in His Faithfulness to lead me into worshipping him!

1) Well Firstly in that time, I got, worship is a heart thing. Its a heart that is bowed down before the God of Heaven and Earth, The LORD, I AM, Internally bowed down, surrendered. Thats really at first and foremost what it is?

So put this pic on FB:

And these are my thoughts so far, (more to be added as they come!)

Thoughts:

FB Status: 6 June 2011

[Wont you break us open,We want 2pour it all on you-Suzy Yarei][Purity in victory,we cannot seperate it-Jason Upton][Psalm24-Who may ascend the hill of the LORD?Who may stand in his holy place?He who has clean hands&a pure heart]God break us open,Purify us,that we may b pure vessels of ur glory,worshippin u with clean hands&a pure heart.God search us,kno our hearts.If theres any offensive way in us,lead us in Ur way!

2) Worship is a heart issue, God search our hearts! Pure hearts! So you can fill us! Being a vessel of honour that he can pour through us to the world

FB Status: 6 June 2011

Desiring to be a true worshipper... Worship is also in the way you study. So I will try to study for God's glory, but Lord please help me, in this!

3) Worship is about doing things for his glory, trying to please him and bless his heart in even what I'm doing in the way I respond or make right with my mother, in the way that I offer my studies and try my best even though I'm sucky at it at times, in the way I include him in it, and talk to him about it!

FB Status: 8 June 2011

No time 2grab a camera,No time 2write it down.Just time enough 2breathe it in,& linger-SaraGroves~He was pleasd when he could take up a straw frm the ground 4 the love of God,seekn Him only,&nothing else,not even His gifts-BrotherLawrence~One thing I ask of the LORD,this is what I seek:that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,2gaze upon the beauty of the LORD&2seek him in his temple-KingDavid

and then my comment:

4) Is this what Worship is, Lingering in God's presence, not seeking anything from him, but just seeking him, not wanting his hand, but gazing in His face.Doing whatever I do, for the Love of Him, not wanting anything back except to keep loving and lingering and dwelling in and with him? I don't know if this is what True worship is, but perhaps herein lies a key :)

FB Status: 9 June 2011

Love visitin YWAM.Got 2 see amazing friends in Muiz 2night,plus sharing night with great homefriends&got 2see my YWAMleader unexpectedly:)& challenged 2not settle-anything thats really worthit in the end requires sacrifice.Also got 2witness a little miracle&hear an awesome testimony.God Help me understand,receive,translate the Common Sense,Words,wisdom that Im getting,need 2hear ur voic,also help me 2embrace ur call.

5) *** that night was a night of Surrender afterwards...Worship. is giving up Your ISAAC. What does this mean, the first mention of the word worship in the bible was when God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. I had to ask myself the next day after crying for 2 days on things I needed to give up, I wonder if Abraham cried! (at least some friends said SURE he did!) Anyway so God promises Abraham his descendants would be like the stars! then God asks him to give up his son!!!...but Abraham trusted, Knew his God!!! First mention - Genesis 22:5 He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.”  So sometimes worshipping God means giving up your Isaac, the promise God gave you, standing right in front of you, the thing that matters so much to you because GOD COMES FIRST....! and then when you do God can turn it around!!! in to what he wanted in the first place, but do we trust him, that is worship!

(yeah this didnt come easy, 2 days of crying, laying it down, picking it up, fighting with God, but I Will get there, cause God you are and I want you to be first in my life!) - See blogged poem too...

FB Status 10 June 2011

Also really need to learn to Shema!

6) Worship is listening to God, listening, waiting.trusting.

FB Status 10 June 2011

“O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise,your foundations with sapphires. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones. All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children’s peace. " Isaiah 54:11 -13

7)Worship is taking stock of the words God has spoken over your life in the past, the promises, the encouragements, the testimonies, the good things, remembering, MEDITATING, and PRAISING him for what he has done in the past!

17 June 2011

FB Status: 17 June 2011
Also those who know recently I've been asking God what does it mean to be a worshipper? well today's video i posted of jason upton gives me the next hint - and very very fitting with what was my struggle today! "Cause Music is not worship, its an expression. Trust ... is Worship"

8) Worship is trusting God!

Quotes from VID

 ‎"Cause Music is not worship, its an expression. Trust ... is Worship" "If you hit the wall in your creativity, Christianity is creativity. Don't be afraid of the death, cause there is ressurection! New levels of glory are never a step up, they're always a step down first..."

 ‎"Jesus says not answering this litany of questions & think all these right ways but Jesus says: Come and follow me, Come and follow me into the unknown. Come and follow me, lay down the certainty. Lay down trying so hard and just come and follow me. Come and be with me."

Funny how all of this ties with what I learnt above....

another part of status on 17 June 2011

Song quoted just b4&overagain says HE IS ALIVE!the God we'r prayin 2 is not DEAD,he is ALIVE,he HEARS,CARES,INTERVENES.Sorry Lord for stresn out like ur dead.Thanku that U R THE ONLY LIVING GOD!(I'v only JUST BEGUN 2 WORSHIP U)

9) Worship is knowing JESUS is alive living like he is alive, that is where it begins!!!

10) Worship is enjoying sharing, encouraging, magnifying God with others (amazing 1 and 1/2 hour chat) with a friend about the goodness of the Lord

11) Worship is not just moping but reminding and stirring up the worship of God even though things seem crappy! ( God is so good - I woke up stressed, scared and in pain, I am going to bed alive and happy in HIM!)

12) and a friends comment now on fb..."To fear God, is to worship him." think it ties in with first part on Exodus. but teach me some more LORD!

 

10 June 2011

Chip Chip Chip
God's chipping away
The chaff and the chaos
the excuses and complaints
Stripping and Pruning
Prodding and Testing
My good intentions
Checking my motives
My promises, My vows
till I'm gold refined by fire

Will I trust in You Lord
Will I let go what I hold onto so tightly
Legitimate needs, Honourable dreams
But idols if not orchestrated by You
why am i fighting your beautymaking process
why am i struggling to surrender
those who trust in you will not be put to shame
i will make the Lord my refuge.
Here I am Lord
I am afraid, I am scared
but I know it's only in You
that I find my rest,all that I am.

Break me, mould me, take away, rebuild me
Teach me, show me, lead me, guide me
Love me, whisper to me, hold me, Comfort me
Anchor me, Bless me, Restore me, Ressurect me
Just don't let go of me
And don't stop working me
Even though I am stubborn at times
May I become all that you want me to be O Lord
Let me become a child, your daughter, your holy people
Let me decrease and you increase
till all all sees
Is Your glory in me.
Christ in me, the hope of Glory!
Don't give up on me Lord,
Keep interceding for me :)

-chandrejoanne

What does worship mean...?

Lol of the day!

Lolololololololol I hope I remember this cause I am still laughing about this. LOL of the day: Sis Calls to ask me why I'm not on FB, I say "at a pc that doesnt connect to internet" she asks "what do u mean u at a pc that doesnt connect to ...internet", Mentioned working at home & I'm about to say wireless not working so well,then think who is being so voorbarig and asking personal questions bout our home & instead ask carefully " Wh wh who? am I speaking to?"

she said it was funny to her too she asks the last question then hears silence.... and then who am I speaking to? if she had known i didnt know it was her, she said would have asked me funny questions e.g. what am I wearing,lol!