This is what I wrote to a friend about what this song means to me.
The lyrics that stand out for me is:
Oh love in the shadows
Be the light who leads me on
What I'm currently experiencing is God, is someone who no. 1 finds you in the shadow and leads you to the light, even when everyone else is looking at you and judging the fact that you may be in a shadow, or even not looking at you or even to you everyone else looks brighter and you're just in the shadow, but He comes and finds you in the shadow and leads you to his light... thats point no.1 but even greater is point no. 2 that He comes and loves you in the shadows. At the worst point in your life, or even your darkest moment. Love finds you there...
Weird Observation no. 2 which is probably something I should get used to. When I listened to the meaning behind the song I got quite a fright because Joel said the same thing I say so many times, and still need to blog, that God defines Love, and what i know of love is just a drop of what love really is, and if i want to know love and love, i need to grow in Him first, in receiving and loving him (Just love on Him) and in that I will begin knowing and being defined by true love...(1 John, God is love). And with this love completing and filling me, I can love others, not with my previous needy, selfish or emotional or even sentimental love, but with the Agape, God kind of love, that has no conditions, limits, that is so filling me, that it overflows into the lives of those who I come into contact with. That I have something to give :)
Lord thankyou for your love in the shadows... You are absolutely amazing, and your Love really is my anchor, even when my whole life is falling apart, your light has always been the flame in the darkness, it has never gone out, only burned brighter and brighter as I have looked to you first... I'm sorry for looking to the left and to the right and for trying to find you in the people around me. You are there, but I know that you dont want me to know you just through people or books or even experiences, events. But you want to transform my life with your Ephesians 3 love that I cannot even the heights or depths of this love, as I yield, surrender and seek Your face.
Love You Lord
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thankyou Lord for your love
Hillsong United - Never let me go
Verse 1
In the shadows my spirit weak
Love broke the darkness and lifted me
And I know you'll never let me go
Verse 2
In the storm in the raging sea
Love conquered the fear and delivered me
And I know you'll never let me go
Chorus
Oh love in the shadows
Be the light who leads me on
You're love I will follow
Be my guide, you're will be done
Oh Lord
Verse 3
In the arms of the one unseen
Love carried the cross that was meant for me
And I know you'll never let me go
Bridge
Oh love I surrender, now forever I'll be loved
In the love of the father, you are faithful you are strong
So hold me now, hold me now, hold me now
(Missing a part that I really like but will add later)
Verse 4
Nothing in this life has walked these streets
Love opened my eyes show me what you see
And I know I'll never let you go
Isaiah 41:
8 "But you, O Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Verse 1
In the shadows my spirit weak
Love broke the darkness and lifted me
And I know you'll never let me go
Verse 2
In the storm in the raging sea
Love conquered the fear and delivered me
And I know you'll never let me go
Chorus
Oh love in the shadows
Be the light who leads me on
You're love I will follow
Be my guide, you're will be done
Oh Lord
Verse 3
In the arms of the one unseen
Love carried the cross that was meant for me
And I know you'll never let me go
Bridge
Oh love I surrender, now forever I'll be loved
In the love of the father, you are faithful you are strong
So hold me now, hold me now, hold me now
(Missing a part that I really like but will add later)
Verse 4
Nothing in this life has walked these streets
Love opened my eyes show me what you see
And I know I'll never let you go
Isaiah 41:
8 "But you, O Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Baby Pics...
Can't believe I havent put this up yet... But aint I the cutest... My favourite is the one with the blue dress.
The desire of my heart
The desire of my heart - Chandre De Wet 18 June 2007
my heart,
my words,
my mind,
my spirit,
just a shadow of
your heart,
your words,
your mind,
your spirit
help me to shine
your light
not mine
tell
your story
not my glory
A world to be reached
People to teach
I am not enough
But with You I can do all things
You call us to sow, to water, but you will grow
You remind us to go, but you will do
Lord, remind me
to keep the focus
Christ the foundation
Christ in me the inspiration
Christ crucified the message
Christ the motive
let me not lose the focus
people may not understand
but you are the softener of hearts
my words sometimes too simple or complicated
but you speak all our hearts languages
To you O Lord I commit
my heart,
my words,
my mind,
my spirit,
So my life may lead many to
your heart,
your words,
your mind,
your spirit
The desire of my heart
my heart,
my words,
my mind,
my spirit,
just a shadow of
your heart,
your words,
your mind,
your spirit
help me to shine
your light
not mine
tell
your story
not my glory
A world to be reached
People to teach
I am not enough
But with You I can do all things
You call us to sow, to water, but you will grow
You remind us to go, but you will do
Lord, remind me
to keep the focus
Christ the foundation
Christ in me the inspiration
Christ crucified the message
Christ the motive
let me not lose the focus
people may not understand
but you are the softener of hearts
my words sometimes too simple or complicated
but you speak all our hearts languages
To you O Lord I commit
my heart,
my words,
my mind,
my spirit,
So my life may lead many to
your heart,
your words,
your mind,
your spirit
The desire of my heart
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Some Old Poetry and Songs and Writings - That may Still be true :)
Most written in 2002 and before that but all written by me
1) I will praise You, My Psalm
I will praise You for all that You are
For You are more than everything
I will praise You regardless of what I feel
For this is bigger than emotions
I will praise You no matter who’s watching
For You are my song, and can’t be quieted
I will praise You for all of my days
For my day,my years,my life belongs to You
I will praise You early in the morning
For You have given me a brand new hope
I will praise You in the darkest of nights
For Your light will never be overshadowed
I will praise You when my heart is broken
For You are the healer of wounds
I will praise You when I reach higher heights
For without You I am lower than low
I will praise You for every good thing
For that simply means that it came from You
I will praise You for every grieving trial
For if I made it through it only means I’m stronger
I will praise You for every good friend in my life
For it only means for each friend put in my life,You have thought of me
I will praise You for my family
For You love me enough, not to leave me alone
I will praise you for every smile and laugh that comes from my lips
For it is only the joy of Your Salvation that makes me happy
I will praise You for every tear, and broken heart
For it is then that I feel Your comfort the most
I will praise You for my every breath
For it means that You have a purpose and hope for me
I will praise You even in my death
For it means at last I can be with you
I will praise You no matter what.
For You are everything,
My life, my being, my comfort, my strength, my love…
My God.
2) Take a breath
Take a breath
Slow down
You’re running way too fast
Hold on
Close your eyes
Hear my breathing
Listen to my voice
Let go
You’re holding on too tight
Your weights are pulling you back
Don’t worry
Take my load
It is easy and gentle
Let me carry you
Put out your hand
And quiet down
And you will feel my palms against yours
I never leave, nor do I sleep
I know your fears.
But if you won’t speak to me
I can’t show you what to do
And if I write the answers down
You wont understand if you don’t read
Trust me, everything will work out.
You just have to take it one step at a time…
Slowly now, there’s so much I still wanna show you, teach you
Aah, I see you are beginning to understand.
All I wanna do is hold you
Look after you
Be with you
Commune with you
Love you
Give you My peace
3) The Foreverness of God…
Just been thinking about God and how everything he does is forever,eternal, never ending…
I think about His eternal love…undending…
I think about the cross how it was for all people, forever after that.
I think about how He made eternity for us.
I think about how He is outside of time. There’s just no end.
I think about how he said let there be light, and today that light is still reaching out, stretching and reaching galaxies, unknown till the light came and continues to go on.
Everything from God and in God is eternal, lasts forever. It is unending, knows no limits, no boundaries and continues to go out, reaching further and further, getting closer, yet still so far to go, and keep going.
So doesn’t it just seem right that when it comes to things of us, that You wouldn’t still work in Your forever way. That Your purposes in our lives are just events and not something that You are continuing and growing and changing.
Oh Lord when you saved us, it wasn’t only so we could now rest assured that we are going to heaven, it wasn’t only so that we can know our sins are now forgiven because of the blood of the lamb. It wasn’t a once off thing. It was an eternal ever changing, ever growing, ever shaping, ever taking us to the next glory, higher and higher, till we realise we only reached the tip of the iceberg and that you have even more install for us.
Eternal things are things that can’t be measured, can’t be put into a box, can’t stop it from moving because there are just no boundaries, no edges, no markings, it just keeps going where it’s never been before, new places, new dreams replacing old ones, newer dreams replacing the new ones, new joys, new challenges, yet new rewards, victories, only to find that the new is old again and there’s more in store.
Let us never stop seeking and serving this eternal God, let us never think that our love is enough, and always seek to be more, do more, love more, give more, show more, surrender more, to the God who’s more never ends. May we realise that what He began in us, wasn’t meant to end then, but that even now, he is longing for us to press in even more and not be satisfied with just yesterday’s blessings, but just desire, take hold of the abundance and the “more” he has!
May we forever be changed and want to be changed, be in His presence and desire to be, be humbled and want to be broken before and eternal God, who eternally loves, shapes and saves. May we always place our lives in His hands and allow His hands to mould us into what He had planned for us since the beginning of time.
Love you Lord.
4) Deeper than deep
Deeper than deep
Never let me go
When my world crashes down
And the storm winds blow
When I’ve cried my last tear
And I’ve lost my last will
Deeper than Deep
Remain with me still
5) 19 May 2002 - A prayer to my Saviour
A great sacrifice, A precious gift
Given by One who’s heart of Love
Has room enough for me
Past hurts and Present fears
Threatening to Cloud my hope and vision
Stumbling as I try to be what You want
Lost faith in people, Grudges gained
The Image of You, fastly fading from me
I ask how much more can I take?
Reminded again of You
All answers, strength and Life in You
How could I forget You?
For what if You too forgot
Decided it was one too many times
And turned Your back on my sins
Your great Love kept me from being consumed
You gave it all for me
You became my Father and I Your Child
Shape me, Oh Lord, in Your Potters Hand
Fill me with your Love, Holiness and Joy
Teach me, and Mould me
I love You Lord, God of My heart
In Your Arms I find my peace
Without You I am lost
Thank You always, My Messiah
You saved me and I am
Eternally grateful
Thankyou
6) Constant
Sometimes just life itself’s a challenge
without being watched.
Sometimes just getting up in the morning’s
a battle to be won.
Sometimes faithful prayers seem faithless
and cries don’t reach the roof.
Sometimes I feel so far away
when my whole being longs for You.
Yet,Sometimes when everything’s so confusing
I know that You’re the truth.
And when everyone’s deserted me
I know that I’ll find You.
And when I’m running scared and lonely
Your love will shelter me.
When I’m feeling hurt and broken
I’ll find peace beneath Your wings.
Chorus:
Through all the shattered pieces of my heart
His love remains constant
Through all the hurt we cause,impose
His love remains constant
In our lowest moments,deepest mistakes
His love remains constant
Rollercoaster lives, Changing, Falling
He remains constant,
So constant
Cause when everything we see is falling
We’re to look beyond the seen.
Cause when everything seems huge and frightening
We’re to look within.
Cause when the grey clouds bring the storms and rain
The Sun still shines above.
When we’ve reached the bottom of this pit
His heart still burns with love.
Cause God is who He says He is,
Not a man that He should lie
And when man would push and shove to live
He would rather die.
Through lies deceit people with two faces
He remains the same
The sinner, the broken, the quitter,the lost
His ageless,constant aim
Never changing hope, never fading truth, endless love
You remain constant… so constant
My only hope, the truth, my love
You remain constant… so constant
7) I breathe and I live
Sometimes, Lord You feel so far away
And I feel that I can't pray
And my tears, they are running down my face
And fear seems to overwhelm my faith
chorus:
But into your presence Lord I run
no matter what I feel
Your shadow it hides me, humbles me
and so I kneel
Love always close, Mercy near
You'll never leave
And it's in your presence that I breathe
I breathe and I live
Father, God, You are so faithful...
You say the Word and it stays true...
And while my life goes round and round(& round & round)
You remain the same...
chorus
bridge
One more time, I close my eyes
One more time, You forgive me
And though I fall, I am not fallen
And though I bleed, I will not die
And one more time, You lift me up!
And one more time, You rescue me!
And though I cry, You draw near
And though I weep, I know I'll dance again...
8) This is the Secret
(see hopeofglory.blogspot.com for info on song)
verse 1:
I close my eyes
And I am surrounded
By the beauty of Your love
In pastures green
You make me lie down
And I find Your peace
Totally secure in You
Satisfied by Your sweet truth
Chorus:
This is the secret
And how can I not be in awe
Mystery revealed
And how can I not be overwhelmed
Jesus in me
My heart can’t contain this joy I’ve found
Companion’s with You
All of my days I’ll humbly bow
For You’ve chosen me, to know
The secret of Your glorious love…
verse 2:
Eyes open wide
And all I can see
Are traces of Your majesty
Creation bears witness
We shout Your praises
Inviting all to join in (this dance)
Hear the redeemed, say “I am free”
Hear the song, “He’s chosen me”
9)My heart in Your hands
Friday, 23 September 2005
Comments: I guess the only safe place and where it's meant to be for our hearts, is in His hands... Bible says Guard your heart, and the heart is deceitful...Let's give our hearts to him to heal and look after and to love.
As I listen once again
I'm wondering if you could hold me
Can I rest my head on Your shoulder
knowing you or I'll never leave
Can You hold my heart inside your hands
I'm afraid I'd let it go
This relationship's so precious
I cannot afford to take any risks
You're the only one who knows me
You know me better than myself
Will You show me how to love You more
Show me how to bless Your heart
I'm standing here with outstretched arms
Praying you'll reach down
I cannot without You Lord
I'm clumsy with my heart
1) I will praise You, My Psalm
I will praise You for all that You are
For You are more than everything
I will praise You regardless of what I feel
For this is bigger than emotions
I will praise You no matter who’s watching
For You are my song, and can’t be quieted
I will praise You for all of my days
For my day,my years,my life belongs to You
I will praise You early in the morning
For You have given me a brand new hope
I will praise You in the darkest of nights
For Your light will never be overshadowed
I will praise You when my heart is broken
For You are the healer of wounds
I will praise You when I reach higher heights
For without You I am lower than low
I will praise You for every good thing
For that simply means that it came from You
I will praise You for every grieving trial
For if I made it through it only means I’m stronger
I will praise You for every good friend in my life
For it only means for each friend put in my life,You have thought of me
I will praise You for my family
For You love me enough, not to leave me alone
I will praise you for every smile and laugh that comes from my lips
For it is only the joy of Your Salvation that makes me happy
I will praise You for every tear, and broken heart
For it is then that I feel Your comfort the most
I will praise You for my every breath
For it means that You have a purpose and hope for me
I will praise You even in my death
For it means at last I can be with you
I will praise You no matter what.
For You are everything,
My life, my being, my comfort, my strength, my love…
My God.
2) Take a breath
Take a breath
Slow down
You’re running way too fast
Hold on
Close your eyes
Hear my breathing
Listen to my voice
Let go
You’re holding on too tight
Your weights are pulling you back
Don’t worry
Take my load
It is easy and gentle
Let me carry you
Put out your hand
And quiet down
And you will feel my palms against yours
I never leave, nor do I sleep
I know your fears.
But if you won’t speak to me
I can’t show you what to do
And if I write the answers down
You wont understand if you don’t read
Trust me, everything will work out.
You just have to take it one step at a time…
Slowly now, there’s so much I still wanna show you, teach you
Aah, I see you are beginning to understand.
All I wanna do is hold you
Look after you
Be with you
Commune with you
Love you
Give you My peace
3) The Foreverness of God…
Just been thinking about God and how everything he does is forever,eternal, never ending…
I think about His eternal love…undending…
I think about the cross how it was for all people, forever after that.
I think about how He made eternity for us.
I think about how He is outside of time. There’s just no end.
I think about how he said let there be light, and today that light is still reaching out, stretching and reaching galaxies, unknown till the light came and continues to go on.
Everything from God and in God is eternal, lasts forever. It is unending, knows no limits, no boundaries and continues to go out, reaching further and further, getting closer, yet still so far to go, and keep going.
So doesn’t it just seem right that when it comes to things of us, that You wouldn’t still work in Your forever way. That Your purposes in our lives are just events and not something that You are continuing and growing and changing.
Oh Lord when you saved us, it wasn’t only so we could now rest assured that we are going to heaven, it wasn’t only so that we can know our sins are now forgiven because of the blood of the lamb. It wasn’t a once off thing. It was an eternal ever changing, ever growing, ever shaping, ever taking us to the next glory, higher and higher, till we realise we only reached the tip of the iceberg and that you have even more install for us.
Eternal things are things that can’t be measured, can’t be put into a box, can’t stop it from moving because there are just no boundaries, no edges, no markings, it just keeps going where it’s never been before, new places, new dreams replacing old ones, newer dreams replacing the new ones, new joys, new challenges, yet new rewards, victories, only to find that the new is old again and there’s more in store.
Let us never stop seeking and serving this eternal God, let us never think that our love is enough, and always seek to be more, do more, love more, give more, show more, surrender more, to the God who’s more never ends. May we realise that what He began in us, wasn’t meant to end then, but that even now, he is longing for us to press in even more and not be satisfied with just yesterday’s blessings, but just desire, take hold of the abundance and the “more” he has!
May we forever be changed and want to be changed, be in His presence and desire to be, be humbled and want to be broken before and eternal God, who eternally loves, shapes and saves. May we always place our lives in His hands and allow His hands to mould us into what He had planned for us since the beginning of time.
Love you Lord.
4) Deeper than deep
Deeper than deep
Never let me go
When my world crashes down
And the storm winds blow
When I’ve cried my last tear
And I’ve lost my last will
Deeper than Deep
Remain with me still
5) 19 May 2002 - A prayer to my Saviour
A great sacrifice, A precious gift
Given by One who’s heart of Love
Has room enough for me
Past hurts and Present fears
Threatening to Cloud my hope and vision
Stumbling as I try to be what You want
Lost faith in people, Grudges gained
The Image of You, fastly fading from me
I ask how much more can I take?
Reminded again of You
All answers, strength and Life in You
How could I forget You?
For what if You too forgot
Decided it was one too many times
And turned Your back on my sins
Your great Love kept me from being consumed
You gave it all for me
You became my Father and I Your Child
Shape me, Oh Lord, in Your Potters Hand
Fill me with your Love, Holiness and Joy
Teach me, and Mould me
I love You Lord, God of My heart
In Your Arms I find my peace
Without You I am lost
Thank You always, My Messiah
You saved me and I am
Eternally grateful
Thankyou
6) Constant
Sometimes just life itself’s a challenge
without being watched.
Sometimes just getting up in the morning’s
a battle to be won.
Sometimes faithful prayers seem faithless
and cries don’t reach the roof.
Sometimes I feel so far away
when my whole being longs for You.
Yet,Sometimes when everything’s so confusing
I know that You’re the truth.
And when everyone’s deserted me
I know that I’ll find You.
And when I’m running scared and lonely
Your love will shelter me.
When I’m feeling hurt and broken
I’ll find peace beneath Your wings.
Chorus:
Through all the shattered pieces of my heart
His love remains constant
Through all the hurt we cause,impose
His love remains constant
In our lowest moments,deepest mistakes
His love remains constant
Rollercoaster lives, Changing, Falling
He remains constant,
So constant
Cause when everything we see is falling
We’re to look beyond the seen.
Cause when everything seems huge and frightening
We’re to look within.
Cause when the grey clouds bring the storms and rain
The Sun still shines above.
When we’ve reached the bottom of this pit
His heart still burns with love.
Cause God is who He says He is,
Not a man that He should lie
And when man would push and shove to live
He would rather die.
Through lies deceit people with two faces
He remains the same
The sinner, the broken, the quitter,the lost
His ageless,constant aim
Never changing hope, never fading truth, endless love
You remain constant… so constant
My only hope, the truth, my love
You remain constant… so constant
7) I breathe and I live
Sometimes, Lord You feel so far away
And I feel that I can't pray
And my tears, they are running down my face
And fear seems to overwhelm my faith
chorus:
But into your presence Lord I run
no matter what I feel
Your shadow it hides me, humbles me
and so I kneel
Love always close, Mercy near
You'll never leave
And it's in your presence that I breathe
I breathe and I live
Father, God, You are so faithful...
You say the Word and it stays true...
And while my life goes round and round(& round & round)
You remain the same...
chorus
bridge
One more time, I close my eyes
One more time, You forgive me
And though I fall, I am not fallen
And though I bleed, I will not die
And one more time, You lift me up!
And one more time, You rescue me!
And though I cry, You draw near
And though I weep, I know I'll dance again...
8) This is the Secret
(see hopeofglory.blogspot.com for info on song)
verse 1:
I close my eyes
And I am surrounded
By the beauty of Your love
In pastures green
You make me lie down
And I find Your peace
Totally secure in You
Satisfied by Your sweet truth
Chorus:
This is the secret
And how can I not be in awe
Mystery revealed
And how can I not be overwhelmed
Jesus in me
My heart can’t contain this joy I’ve found
Companion’s with You
All of my days I’ll humbly bow
For You’ve chosen me, to know
The secret of Your glorious love…
verse 2:
Eyes open wide
And all I can see
Are traces of Your majesty
Creation bears witness
We shout Your praises
Inviting all to join in (this dance)
Hear the redeemed, say “I am free”
Hear the song, “He’s chosen me”
9)My heart in Your hands
Friday, 23 September 2005
Comments: I guess the only safe place and where it's meant to be for our hearts, is in His hands... Bible says Guard your heart, and the heart is deceitful...Let's give our hearts to him to heal and look after and to love.
As I listen once again
I'm wondering if you could hold me
Can I rest my head on Your shoulder
knowing you or I'll never leave
Can You hold my heart inside your hands
I'm afraid I'd let it go
This relationship's so precious
I cannot afford to take any risks
You're the only one who knows me
You know me better than myself
Will You show me how to love You more
Show me how to bless Your heart
I'm standing here with outstretched arms
Praying you'll reach down
I cannot without You Lord
I'm clumsy with my heart
A Tribute to my Fathers
17 June 2007
Thought I should record this tribute, both (I think) have heard these words, but I guess I want it written down so that it can be a reminder to me too...
Perhaps some will be shocked at me saying Fathers, but here's an update, my real biological dad died when I was 5 months old, my mom remarried when I was 4 years old and My current dad adopted me too...
Joey Eksteen.
I don't know you, not at all, I heard you were a great person, that many people were drawn to you, that you were warm and friendly and made alot of jokes. Most of my life I dont think about you, and almost wished I never knew you because I guess I was content with life as it is, and can't imagine having another father, what would you have been like, stricter than the father I have... So for most of my life you were just a name, not even knowing where your grave is only going when my parents take me and a reminder when people meet me who knew you, most of the time I felt uncomfortable with questions or saying I have 3 sets of grandparents, or my father died and why I dont even know, it's not like I was saying my father left.
Recently, I asked my mom if there were signs, and she said the week before you died you did alot of things, buying new furniture, bonding with all your school kids who travelled bus. Even more recently I heard something about your death that freaked me out and which I still need to confirm but told my friends, who one gave another view of that news which really melted my heart.
Today I decided to join my parents at their church to honour my father at their Father's Day service. It came to the part where you put a flower in the wreath for a Fathe who died. I thought I'm not going to go just because its said in front I must, also I dont want all the comments "why am I going up if I have a father"...I'll honour you in my own way... Then last minute telling my sis, Should I go, and She said Yes, it's not about the people.
Anyway I hope you like the red flower I picked. I just want to say sorry, sorry for surpressing your memory. It's not your fault you died. I'm sure you would have loved me, thats why you had me. It is hard to know how to think or feel about someone you dont know at all except for photos and even that I'm not sure where they are. But I just want to say Happy Fathers Day Dad, I'm not even sure where you are, what life you lived and if you'll be in heaven when I get there, but regardless, you made me, and there are many attributes of you in me, and you decided to have a child and that was me, and I'm sure I get my jokes and love for people from you, and so for the 26 years I havent honoured you I want to say I'm sorry, but also want to say that although I dont know you and wont have that opportunity, I do love you, and thank you for deciding to have me, and for having loved my mother. Thankyou for the wonderful Eksteen family I have in George because of you. Thankyou for responding to the unction to sort out things for my mom before you died. Thankyou even for the inheritance you left, even though i totally messed it up. Thankyou Joey Eksteen. Thankyou Dad. Wherever you are I thank you, I honour you and I love you. God I just want to say thank you for your perfect plan for my life, and the father you have given to make me a part of who I am today.
Aubrey De Wet
Wow, what can I say. Lots of fights, but lots of Love, which outshines every silly argument or fear. Most men do not adopt their wives children. And even if they do, they dont take them on as their own. Though there have been times I have felt insecure of my place in the family when comparing (something I do and know I shouldnt) I can not think of a time you have ever made me feel as though I am not your real daughter... I dont doubt my place in your home and life. And love you lots.
I wish to take back all those negative words and letters I wrote(but never gave) in my teenage years, and wish for you nothing but Love, God, Strength, Wisdome, Favour, Prosperity, Hope, Joy, Blessings... You are such an example of a humble servant. And though you have been hurt by man I really pray that you will realise your selflessness is honoured God! You are so strong and solid. I love the fact that if we have a problem and are stuck somewhere, you want us to call you. That is such a reassurance. I love the fact that you love my mother, and that you show it, and that you actually take times to bless her by cooking cleaning, etc. and not losing your manliness, You guys really show me the picture of a biblical marriage, where the wife submits to the husband, but the husband too loves her like Christ loved the church by laying his life down... I love the fact too that when we argue it's not about winning the argument, and that you come back and tell me if you were wrong, or you tell me that you didnt want to fight, or allow me to approach you if I still have an issue, you are real and make yourself vulnerable. Daddy, You are Great. And I love you lots, and I'm so glad I have you and dont really want anyone else than you. Thanks too for being strict. If you werent I would done even worse things than I did, and I love the fact that I've learnt to respect others home situations because of ours.. Love you Dad, I really pray that you will grow in God too, that you will realise that all those questions and hurts and issues He wants to bear. But just want to say I see the fruits in your life that we all so desire :) ...Also Stephen Curtis Chapman and the guy who blogs for Purpose Driven Life shares that those who adopt share a part of Gods heart because we are adopted into his family, and therefore those that adopt are doing something that God himself has done. Again, you didnt have to adopt me, but you did. You didnt have to love me like your own child, but you did. I love you Dad.
And lastly...
Father God, Abba, My Daddy (in Heaven)
When I think about the Lord
How He saved me, How he raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the uttermost
When I think about the Lord
How He picked me up and turned me around
How He set my feet on solid ground
It makes me wanna shout,
"Hallelujah, thank you Jesus,
Lord you're worthy of all the glory,And all the honor, and all the praise
Oh Father, thank you for picking me up and turning me around and loving me even in my darkest nights, and making things clear, and answering my questions, and meeting me, and holding me, and not giving up on me, Thank you Lord. Thank You Dad.
I only realised when i started this blog that I forgot to think about you today in this regards, and Lord I just want to say You trully are a Perfect Father and you Trully are who you say you are in the Word. And Lord I just wanna ask that you will continue to reveal your heart to those who are searching for truth. I Pray Father that you will remove any strongholds, barriers, and blinders the enemy is attempting to put on their lives but Trully God that They will KNOW YOU... Thank you for that Revelation you gave me in PE 2004, That You are my Father, as the word says you are a Father to the Fatherless, and when my dad died, you stepped in. You trully did, though I didnt really know and accept you till years later, looking back I can see how you protected me from so much and even where I made wrong choices, it didnt turn out the worst. God I love you, and Lord I dont want to be a person of words, but of action. I really want to live out what I believe and think and it's so hard, Lord dont stop working in my life, dont stop pruning me (hectic request) Lord thanks so much for your love. It changes my heart, it softens me. Its what gets me to keep on keeping on. Keep using my life to share that love with the whole world. In Jesus Name.
Love You Dad, and I honour you! In Jesus Name! Amen.
Thought I should record this tribute, both (I think) have heard these words, but I guess I want it written down so that it can be a reminder to me too...
Perhaps some will be shocked at me saying Fathers, but here's an update, my real biological dad died when I was 5 months old, my mom remarried when I was 4 years old and My current dad adopted me too...
Joey Eksteen.
I don't know you, not at all, I heard you were a great person, that many people were drawn to you, that you were warm and friendly and made alot of jokes. Most of my life I dont think about you, and almost wished I never knew you because I guess I was content with life as it is, and can't imagine having another father, what would you have been like, stricter than the father I have... So for most of my life you were just a name, not even knowing where your grave is only going when my parents take me and a reminder when people meet me who knew you, most of the time I felt uncomfortable with questions or saying I have 3 sets of grandparents, or my father died and why I dont even know, it's not like I was saying my father left.
Recently, I asked my mom if there were signs, and she said the week before you died you did alot of things, buying new furniture, bonding with all your school kids who travelled bus. Even more recently I heard something about your death that freaked me out and which I still need to confirm but told my friends, who one gave another view of that news which really melted my heart.
Today I decided to join my parents at their church to honour my father at their Father's Day service. It came to the part where you put a flower in the wreath for a Fathe who died. I thought I'm not going to go just because its said in front I must, also I dont want all the comments "why am I going up if I have a father"...I'll honour you in my own way... Then last minute telling my sis, Should I go, and She said Yes, it's not about the people.
Anyway I hope you like the red flower I picked. I just want to say sorry, sorry for surpressing your memory. It's not your fault you died. I'm sure you would have loved me, thats why you had me. It is hard to know how to think or feel about someone you dont know at all except for photos and even that I'm not sure where they are. But I just want to say Happy Fathers Day Dad, I'm not even sure where you are, what life you lived and if you'll be in heaven when I get there, but regardless, you made me, and there are many attributes of you in me, and you decided to have a child and that was me, and I'm sure I get my jokes and love for people from you, and so for the 26 years I havent honoured you I want to say I'm sorry, but also want to say that although I dont know you and wont have that opportunity, I do love you, and thank you for deciding to have me, and for having loved my mother. Thankyou for the wonderful Eksteen family I have in George because of you. Thankyou for responding to the unction to sort out things for my mom before you died. Thankyou even for the inheritance you left, even though i totally messed it up. Thankyou Joey Eksteen. Thankyou Dad. Wherever you are I thank you, I honour you and I love you. God I just want to say thank you for your perfect plan for my life, and the father you have given to make me a part of who I am today.
Aubrey De Wet
Wow, what can I say. Lots of fights, but lots of Love, which outshines every silly argument or fear. Most men do not adopt their wives children. And even if they do, they dont take them on as their own. Though there have been times I have felt insecure of my place in the family when comparing (something I do and know I shouldnt) I can not think of a time you have ever made me feel as though I am not your real daughter... I dont doubt my place in your home and life. And love you lots.
I wish to take back all those negative words and letters I wrote(but never gave) in my teenage years, and wish for you nothing but Love, God, Strength, Wisdome, Favour, Prosperity, Hope, Joy, Blessings... You are such an example of a humble servant. And though you have been hurt by man I really pray that you will realise your selflessness is honoured God! You are so strong and solid. I love the fact that if we have a problem and are stuck somewhere, you want us to call you. That is such a reassurance. I love the fact that you love my mother, and that you show it, and that you actually take times to bless her by cooking cleaning, etc. and not losing your manliness, You guys really show me the picture of a biblical marriage, where the wife submits to the husband, but the husband too loves her like Christ loved the church by laying his life down... I love the fact too that when we argue it's not about winning the argument, and that you come back and tell me if you were wrong, or you tell me that you didnt want to fight, or allow me to approach you if I still have an issue, you are real and make yourself vulnerable. Daddy, You are Great. And I love you lots, and I'm so glad I have you and dont really want anyone else than you. Thanks too for being strict. If you werent I would done even worse things than I did, and I love the fact that I've learnt to respect others home situations because of ours.. Love you Dad, I really pray that you will grow in God too, that you will realise that all those questions and hurts and issues He wants to bear. But just want to say I see the fruits in your life that we all so desire :) ...Also Stephen Curtis Chapman and the guy who blogs for Purpose Driven Life shares that those who adopt share a part of Gods heart because we are adopted into his family, and therefore those that adopt are doing something that God himself has done. Again, you didnt have to adopt me, but you did. You didnt have to love me like your own child, but you did. I love you Dad.
And lastly...
Father God, Abba, My Daddy (in Heaven)
When I think about the Lord
How He saved me, How he raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the uttermost
When I think about the Lord
How He picked me up and turned me around
How He set my feet on solid ground
It makes me wanna shout,
"Hallelujah, thank you Jesus,
Lord you're worthy of all the glory,And all the honor, and all the praise
Oh Father, thank you for picking me up and turning me around and loving me even in my darkest nights, and making things clear, and answering my questions, and meeting me, and holding me, and not giving up on me, Thank you Lord. Thank You Dad.
I only realised when i started this blog that I forgot to think about you today in this regards, and Lord I just want to say You trully are a Perfect Father and you Trully are who you say you are in the Word. And Lord I just wanna ask that you will continue to reveal your heart to those who are searching for truth. I Pray Father that you will remove any strongholds, barriers, and blinders the enemy is attempting to put on their lives but Trully God that They will KNOW YOU... Thank you for that Revelation you gave me in PE 2004, That You are my Father, as the word says you are a Father to the Fatherless, and when my dad died, you stepped in. You trully did, though I didnt really know and accept you till years later, looking back I can see how you protected me from so much and even where I made wrong choices, it didnt turn out the worst. God I love you, and Lord I dont want to be a person of words, but of action. I really want to live out what I believe and think and it's so hard, Lord dont stop working in my life, dont stop pruning me (hectic request) Lord thanks so much for your love. It changes my heart, it softens me. Its what gets me to keep on keeping on. Keep using my life to share that love with the whole world. In Jesus Name.
Love You Dad, and I honour you! In Jesus Name! Amen.
Teachers Strike...
I may be very misinformed about this as because no. 1 I've been so busy this past months havent been able to sit down and properly read the newspaper, or speak to teachers or even my parents about this... But just going to blog some of my thoughts on this... and may update this post again when I have more info...
But I definitely agree teachers should get paid more! Thats why all our teachers are leaving to the UK...But with striking for more than a couple of days my question is who has to pay for this at the end of the day. Right now the teachers arent budging, the government isnt budging, but who pays. As usual, the children. The youth.
In my final year of school we didnt have a maths teacher for like 6 months, and had one Physics teacher who taught 3 classes in one teaching HG and SG at the same time because of Rationalisation at the time -> The government deciding to shuffle teachers round. Their agendas were met but who suffered, we did.
Please consider the youth in all your decisions, you so busy fighting for freedom, but your freedom is putting bondages on others. We are the future of Cape Town, South Africa, The world. And I am not making this statement to the teachers but to all... Abortion activists, Policy Makers, MTV (we know your no. 1 market is our kids, but please realise they your kids you are affecting too), Church goers, etc.etc...
Back to the strike topic? How will the government give the teachers their 12% increase? Where does the money come from. I realise everyone is saying look at the politicians pockets, but if they took of their salaries then that is heading in the direction of communism where the doctor and the streetworker gets paid the same. There needs to be something to work towards...
I speak under correction but the Model C schools teachers get paid by the pupils school fees? Is that why they not really marching with ? In normal schools does the school fees go towards salaries eventually? Why not force kids to pay their school fees and if they cant then they can make arrangements with the school. I know when I was at school (and I was at a Private, Model C and State schools) there were many who could more than afford it who didnt pay their school fees)...
I do love the teachers for putting up with todays young people, I was one for 6 months and valued the good teachers and got irritated with the rude teachers for not realising the position of influence they have and the way their words are affecting young peoples lives. I went to visit one of my ex pupils Friday whose 17 now! he was 12 when I last saw him... But guys can we come up with a solution that does not affect the June Exams, the young people. Is not having school for 2 weeks really the only way to be heard?
[[disclaimer, I will be asking around more and getting more info to form my final opinion of this situation...]]
But I definitely agree teachers should get paid more! Thats why all our teachers are leaving to the UK...But with striking for more than a couple of days my question is who has to pay for this at the end of the day. Right now the teachers arent budging, the government isnt budging, but who pays. As usual, the children. The youth.
In my final year of school we didnt have a maths teacher for like 6 months, and had one Physics teacher who taught 3 classes in one teaching HG and SG at the same time because of Rationalisation at the time -> The government deciding to shuffle teachers round. Their agendas were met but who suffered, we did.
Please consider the youth in all your decisions, you so busy fighting for freedom, but your freedom is putting bondages on others. We are the future of Cape Town, South Africa, The world. And I am not making this statement to the teachers but to all... Abortion activists, Policy Makers, MTV (we know your no. 1 market is our kids, but please realise they your kids you are affecting too), Church goers, etc.etc...
Back to the strike topic? How will the government give the teachers their 12% increase? Where does the money come from. I realise everyone is saying look at the politicians pockets, but if they took of their salaries then that is heading in the direction of communism where the doctor and the streetworker gets paid the same. There needs to be something to work towards...
I speak under correction but the Model C schools teachers get paid by the pupils school fees? Is that why they not really marching with ? In normal schools does the school fees go towards salaries eventually? Why not force kids to pay their school fees and if they cant then they can make arrangements with the school. I know when I was at school (and I was at a Private, Model C and State schools) there were many who could more than afford it who didnt pay their school fees)...
I do love the teachers for putting up with todays young people, I was one for 6 months and valued the good teachers and got irritated with the rude teachers for not realising the position of influence they have and the way their words are affecting young peoples lives. I went to visit one of my ex pupils Friday whose 17 now! he was 12 when I last saw him... But guys can we come up with a solution that does not affect the June Exams, the young people. Is not having school for 2 weeks really the only way to be heard?
[[disclaimer, I will be asking around more and getting more info to form my final opinion of this situation...]]
Saturday, June 16, 2007
New Blog - Chandre's Places
Thought Id share the pics of the places I've been and love :)
http://chandresplaces.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
http://chandresplaces.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
Friday, June 8, 2007
End of Year Function - Smile or no smile?
Just found these nice pics on Jodie's facebook page of the end of year function in Klapmuts/Wellington last year. These pics are quite funny because I dont normally like smiling for photos and yet i give this big happy clappy type smile and then the other one where I'm trying to look serious, looks like I'm going to burst out laughing anyway... Also it's amazing if you see pics of me in Feb vs November (this one) picked up a lot of weight! (ok but at least I'm healthier now)
Found another pic, this one I am including because it has the beautiful mountains we have (think that is the Franschoek/Wellington mountains in the background) and the Cape Dutch Style buildings (would love to own one ;)
And another just of the mountains :)
Found another pic, this one I am including because it has the beautiful mountains we have (think that is the Franschoek/Wellington mountains in the background) and the Cape Dutch Style buildings (would love to own one ;)
And another just of the mountains :)
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