Thursday, April 11, 2013

Waiting... :)

So I had this dream yesterday/this morning/somewhere in the night that just lifted a whole lot of a weight off my shoulders...

The previous day I asked for prayer from a colleague, because I had this question of what I want versus what God wants for me. What I think is amazing versus God who knows best. I always used to say I want what God wants, but recently I couldn't see that there could be better or that I want better... Then the thought of if I get what I want, what am I missing out on? Am I settling? I was a little unsettled after these thoughts, which then led to a little, I'm tired of being alone thoughts too, and just not being able to see in the future, when things will be better and how far from that I am, or if I will ever be ready, etc.etc. etc. (sigh...)

Then the dream...

I don't remember how, but this is what I remember and really believe God was ministering to me in my dream. Basically God reminded me of how the man searches for his wife, and the woman waits... And how my husband is searching and asking questions and hoping and looking, but God is hiding me from him because I am not ready. Because I am worrying, and even  then in a sense searching, instead of the position I should be in and in the process stressing myself out. So I wonder if person X is my future husband because he is amazing, and wonder how to deal with that, but then wonder what if person X is not my future husband and God gives him just because I couldn't wait and then I have person X and begin to see that it was my will not God's will or just wonder if I got him because I wanted him or if it's God's will. There is not much peace in me searching...

But in waiting, in trusting, in resting, in the knowledge of my Father's goodness, his perfect will, his ability to see how everything falls in place, and his ability to meet and even exceed our expectations! How beautiful to God is our waiting :) Our hope in the Lord. Our resting and confidence and security. God knows, God cares, God is busy right now at work, I can trust Him.I can lean on that, I can rest on his shoulder regarding that.

And as I stop searching, and rest and wait, which is my part, God is able to let my husband find me, and then when I have him I know it is God's best for me, even if it was person X, or not, and not my will :) And not just regarding this, but in everything, as I just put on FB:

My role as a daughter of the King is to wait...ie. Rest in Him, trusting my Father's ability to know my deepest needs and exceed my expectations. I can curl up against his chest and throw the worry out the window! God knows best. I rest in that.

Soaking song at the moment:

When I don't understand I will choose you,
When I don't understand I will choose you God,
When I don't understand I get to choose to love you God

For you are good, God
For you are good to me
For you are good, God
For you are good to me