Not going any more and other stuff..

so it didnt work out and i am eagerly trying to sell the ticket i have already bought. However i am sooo lookng forward to that leave, having not taken leave for personal reasons other than studies and sickness this year...

am thinking of starting an organizing blog, inspired by Marcia Francois. keep you posted.

If anyone actually reads this pls pray for me, going through a phase where Im being challenged everyday in areas and not seeing the breakthrough...

But my God is faithful amazing and I love him so mcuh

I'm going to Petermaritzburg (In a singing voice)

YEEEAAAH!

And Durban for one day...(1st time and 1st time in that province)And maybe even stop over in Port Elizabeth but we'll see about that one..Exciting that I'll be in PMB for a sunday so get to experience their His People church :) Hope Colleen them are there, and Aunty Ursula and Uncle Sharrel but if not It's still cool. Candice will be with too. YEAH.

Booked my flight with Mango Airlines. (Last time went with the lime green plane this time with the bright orange one!)Going with Jason and when we come back with Lize it will be Lize, Jason, Candice and me!...

So excited :) :) Something to smile about...(or should i say another thing to smile about)

Need to get my camera fixed!KZN here I come!

Just another song written this year I think? Intricate Detail

Intricate Detail

Before there was me, you predestined me
You determined my destiny
Before I was born, your eyes, they saw me
You wove my unformed body in the womb

chorus
Intricrate Detail, Every hair accounted for
Love without measure, The cross not to much to pay
Angels to keep me, You determine every step I take
God how you love us, You watching over me...

And when I fell, your hands they lifted me
Your blood has washed away my sin
My heart was broken, but in compassion you healed me
As I receive, You come to live within

You watch over me (repeat)


chan(2007)

Dont Give Up - I hope my life speaks

there is a story behind this one, (coming soon!) but basically wrote this and it turns out this is what I need to share with someone else...

Don't Give Up

I hope my life speaks
I hope it gives you a different ending
A different picture
To the one you see

I hope that you see the colour
Even just a glimpse of hope
I hope you will hold on
I hope you know you’ll make it
I did

I hope you’ll let go of the hurt
Let go of the reasons and reasonings
I hope that you’ll know you not alone

I hope you find an ounce of strength
I hope you’ll reach out
I hope you don’t believe the lie
That it’s not worth it

You are more than worth it
You are precious beyond what you can see
You are loved beyond measure
I hope you can see the glimmer of light
Even though ur world is dark
I hope you’ll feel the bit of sun
Even as you drenched in rain

Don’t give up, it’s not worth it
You are more than worth it
I made it and I will not give up on you making it
You can dream
You can hope
You will make it

-chan 11/2007

morning word again...

Psalm 24: 3 - 4

3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?

4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.

Had a revelation in the car on the way to work about this scripture.... (and the song)

Why Clean Hands and a Pure heart...?

Clean Hands = equals what you do, (not quick to shed blood), not doing wrong with these hands, doing the right thing with this hands, in otherwords my life. May my life be right, clean, may I reflect you, in what I do?

Pure Heart = The Motive the heart behind what I do, without the pure heart I could become legalistic or think I am right by the good deeds that I do yet in my heart it is done for the wrong reasons or pride creeps in. But if my heart is submitted to his Lordship, bowed down within, filled with his love, if God roots out the impurities, if I love others, if I allow God to repeatedly inspect my heart and the motives of my heart, then a clean hand life will flow out of that.

Oh God, give me clean hands and a pure heart! in the name of Jesus.

Amen

Morning WORD

My train ride was cool. I asked God that I could have a nice quiet time session and that he would direct my paths, my day and my ride who I end up with. I ended up speeding to the station and sprinting from my car making it just in time to jump on the 7h30 train that stopped at the station. The next one is only 8 so if you miss that you are in a predicament.

I ended up chatting to my cousins friend from school who apparantly listens to Crefflo dollar and stuff although I recall she lived a hectic life, but it was such a nice chat that I took her no and stuff... After that I was reading Numbers because I noticed that ps keeps speaking about Joshua and Caleb and on Monday's meeting he read from there, anyway, I read, but God took me right back to Exodus 20.

The Ten Commandments....

Do you know what happens before and after (I realised this would make a great childrens church lesson) God comes on Mount Sinai in Smoke it looks like a Fire burning on the mountain. Anyone who touches the mountain would die... Moses is the only one who is allowed to go up.

Afterwards the people are so fearful they tell Moses, from now on you speak to us, dont let God speak to us.... And he says No dont be afraid. God is just allowing us to have the fear of him so we would keep from sinning...

What I find awesome about the old testament is that it's like learning something from experience vs revelation... We know alot of the new testament, but when we read stories like this we get the background or where that is coming from...That even right there, God is wanting the people to know him...Even though he is scary to them, Moses says no dont be afraid.

Cause when I read the fire part, I thought about the song Fire Burns.... And how His Fire burns within us, like the Fire burned on the mountain when God gave Moses the commandments. And that is why God says to us, his commandments should now be within our hearts, written on the tablets of our hearts because His fire now is within, not on a Holy mountain...

Also another cool part I read and Joshua was mentioned there was the description of the tent of meeting. It was a place where all the israelites could go and meet and inquire of the Lord. But only when Moses went in the pillar of God would come down and stand at the entrance of the tent, and the people that saw this would worship God...But what was so awesome is the section ends with "Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young assistant Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent."

I dont know if others had read right into Exodus about Joshua, but there was this young assistant lingering around the tent while and after Moses had left, then already God had prepared a future for Joshua and Joshua was just enjoying God. Sounds similar to the story of David...

May we realise that it's these stolen moments with God,that sets us up for Gods future for us... But also that there is a foundation to the things he tells us, that although in Proverbs it says the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, if you go right back to Exodus, Moses says dont be afraid, God is just testing you and allowing his fear to keep us from sinning....

Lastly... Moses told God

If your presence does not go with us, do not send us from here.... What will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

Numbers 6:22

The Lord bless you and KEEP you
The Lord make His face to shine upon you
and be gracious to you;

The Lord turrn his face towards you
and give you peace."

whats up with me this weekend...

Hopefully will get my breakthrough tomorrow (today) but It's 1:20 AM and I'm still up and not wanting to sleep...Kinda want alone time this weekend, though lifegroup was great, but for me when I see it happening then that's really fruit...

Anyway hope I meet with you today, Lord... However I guesss that means drawing near to you. And also hope to spend qt soon with G. God's just connecting me with so many great girls...

gentleman

gentleman
i cannot believe nor understand
but just [revel] in your love
your perfection compared to my frailness
your purity compared to my multicoloured past
I just cant get to grips with it
but i am so blessed, so amazed, so humbled
and though i cannot figure it out
and definitely dont deserve it
I'm letting you define me
I'm letting you rewrite me
I'm letting you determine the steps
safe
in your arms
secure
in your presence
accepted in you
why do i search elsewhere
there's only one perfect gentleman
and I'm so grateful that you have chosen me
that you have graced me with your presence
that you've picked my heart for your love

may i never stop walking beside you
may i never let go of your hand
may i never stop looking into your eyes to define me
you are perfect, i am not
i can't see the way you see
i dont know the way to go
all i know is you've chosen me as your lady
and you are my perfect
gentleman

i end this poem saying
here am i
have my whole heart
my mind, my soul
define me, redefine
lover of my soul
i will never be what you are to me
but fortunately i have an eternity to try
love you gentleman
of my heart


-chan

God, you so funny....

Hey God is so funny if you available he can use whatever you have for his glory and even anoint it and cause others to respond.

This friday at the street outreach, Sophie asked me to rap my rap. I wasnt feeling funky that night, the crowd who was mostly our youth, werent responding to hardly anything only Petula's song, so it was a bit like Oh no....for me inside, but of course I did it anyway..I first got a hectic introduction, the girl all the way from the united states of new york, kuils river... and then I take mike and do my whistle to get the attention of the youth and they respond by doing the proper whistle back(getting there getting there)
I then ask who's from Kuils river, whos from Kraaifontein, the crowd screams, athtthis stage I was going to go into the explaination then then I hear, Parow, so I ask Parow, Bonteheuwel, Elsies, Wesbank, Belhar, etc,etc... Then in normal english I explain the meaning of my rap, which I should do now anyway,not sure if I did blog this one before...

You see KraaiFontein means Cry Fountains, So Kraaifontein makes people sad, whereas Kuils River, is the place to be. Ayeyah

I ask Eugene for a beat and begin to rap

My Naam is Chandre
Ek kom van die Kuila
En as jy vi my kyk
Dan wil ek soma huila
So se maar liewer ayeya! (Ayeyah!)

My name is Judy tay opposite 4 Square
Can't you see by my curly hair
Dont look at me and dont' you stare
Rather say, oh Yeah! (o Yeah!)

My name is Justice
and I am da fireman
Cant you see dat I live in da Pan
When the fire comes I take out my water gun
So Everybody just say, Aya Man (Aya Man!)


The funny thing is while rapping some other young people came off the streets and joined the crowd and they really all enjoyed the rap so much so tha I had to sing it twice...GOD You really are funny how you can use a rap that I made up to go on with my friends to draw people

That is the secret...You and being available. Lord thankyou for using me. Lord do a deep work in the hearts of the youth!

S'more pics...

Its Me!!!

Only in Cape Town.... (Still springbok stories)

After the Springboks ended their country wide tour in Cape Town yesterday these were the headlines this morning ;)

Drunk fan tries to steal Cup
http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_2211381,00.html

(Aaai...)







Oh and Apparantly the Proteas won the Cricket!

the Boks Parade in CT

Just got back from lunch break... And me and a couple of Collegues went to Loop Street to wait for the boks in their bus to arrive. The advantages of working in the City!

Saw Victor Matfield, that was nice, he sat alone on the front and just looked at everyone in a humble looking way (I say looking cause I dont know him)

Then thought I saw Butch James (not sure), apparantly I saw Wynand Olivier, asked my collegue, then saw Schalk just watching and leaning then at the back of the bus, Percy Montgomery and Bryan Habana holding the cup, was glad to see him ;)

Anyway, for me this whole experience is about faith, so I'm really going to apply the same faith to other things and see what happens. The otherday i saw the news report that they not going to Soweto, i prayed and checked the news 4pm and they made a plan to go there!

Anyway, God you are amazing, thanks for you favour, continue to bless us, continue t work in the Springboks live's even Lord just bless Tonderai even in his contact and influence, thanks that you already shine but may you really just bless his season in the team. And Lord as For South Africa, may we continue to build this nation the way You want it, Your kingdom come your will be done in South Africa as it is in heaven...

Amen!
chan

What a crazy day...

This day began with me rushing to wash my hair so that my mom could dry it before going to her church bazaar and realizing after I finished washing it, I should go to the hairdresser seeing as its the only time I have, and the only day I have money (the day after pay day). I end up sitting for about 20 minutes in the hairdresser only to see they dont have the products I have, but manage to get an appointment by a lovely christian hairdresser, Alethea in Belhar. (In the meantime I forget my pj's in the bathroom cause it wasnt the bathroom I usually use, but will possibly face the music tomorrow). Also got to wash half of my clothing. From there went to Wesbank to fetch Siphenathi, and ended up getting her cousin Khayakazi too, went almost too my next stop and then she had to cancel, then to the next 2 who said they are coming only to find out they cancelled, and ended up at McDonalds where one of the cell members had already been waiting for and hour, because she came earlier... (I am obviously leaving out alot of the day too year)However that was mended and it only being 4 of us, it helped with what I had in mind for today and took the 3 of them to Zewenwacht wine estate's restaurant. We had a seat outside,overlooking the dam and nature, just had a time of bonding and ended up witnessing the photography of a wedding. I then say "Leighshe look there's Trevor Manuel" Which at first at a distance just looked like a look alike but then his 2 sons came who I semi recognized and then photographer said lets take a photo of the Manuel Family and Later saw Lynne his ex wife who I worked with. Siphenathi and Khayakazi was quite excited about seeing the Minister of Finance there and wanted to take a photo but the moment was lost. However it was just a great time of laughing and bonding and just in a sense weirdness. I do mention my thought of maybe going into teaching to Lynn. The 4 of us then take some pics and then head inside to leave, but before we leave we go and sit in this lounge and just shared prayer requests and prayed for each other. The Manager told us we must come again... Quite funny everyone there but us are wearing churchlooking clothes....

After that Leighshe and I took out 2 movies, but then i received an sms from my mother that i'm in trouble because of the pj's and we decide to take the one we chose and watch it at our own homes. Now lately I havent been one for drama's because life is serious most of the times so when I watch movies I just want to relax, but because of people saying it's a good movie I chose "The pursuit of Happyness" at this stage I really wanted to watch her comedy instead but went home with the movie...

Turns out halfway through the movie I pause to cry :) not because the movie is so sad, but it is, but because so many times I want to give up and life is just really crap and there really arent answers and you just cant see how its going to work out, but this guy just doesnt give up. Regardless of all the closed doors, and it's not like he's all super confident, the closed doors really hurt, but he pursues his dream and refuses to give up. Till now my life has been a lot of listen to other people. give in to fear, missed opportunities, and this story just tells you are you still going to go on...Still going to try cause in the end as the scripture says I will press on to receive the prize. Especially the song in the movie Lord Dont take away this mountain, Give me the strength to climb it, had me crying out to Jesus (but also had me thinking on the other hand, the bible does say Mustard seed faith moves mountains)

Anyway,was also thinking about my debt situation and how I do make enough money to eventually change the odds, so what am I going to do, use the opportunities I have now to change things or squander it. And also thinking I dont want to get that position, (although it has been like that for the past 2 months) not having money even for petrol to get to work in the last week.

Anyway if you like me and you havent seen the trailer or heard what the movie is about before and you realise at the end its based on a real guys life, then listen to the special feature of the real guy and find out that he is investing in South Africa today, wow, it just makes me say Lord, Give me wisdom, help me Lord.

I dont want insecurity to win, or fear, or failure, or always having this uncertainty... Really build in my life Jesus a real sense of who I am in you,

then woh another special feature was Bebe Winans song - I can..which just touched my heart although I admit I'm not standing Superfaith yet, but crying out to Jesus!

God reminded me of his word that says His plans for me are to prosper me, and not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future...God I know that although I'm not sure what the future holds in you I have a hope and a future and I know that you will build in me the strength to climb every mountian I need to get there. Lord let me know if the desires I have in my heart are a now hting or give me the strategy in Jesus Name...

Holy Spirit, help me to be a good steward of everything you have placed in my hand in this season, in Jesus Name

Love you Lord
chan

Word for the week (or the past time)

Proverbs 20:24 - Stop worrying about the future and how it's going to work out!

A man's steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his own way?

Proverbs 20:25 - Count the Cost, before making decisions

It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly
and only later to consider his vows.

1 Corinthians 15:58 - Encouragement at discipleship class

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

There's no other name thats higher than your name - Jesus, and who you are - Wonderful Jesus, Awesome God

I have to say, at this present moment, I am totally grateful to God for saving, loving and being in my life.

I love the fact of realizing what I think is a revelation was actually something God was waiting for me to discover, and was actually from him! Wasn't going to go to church tonight and was worrying about something...but then at ten to six just felt, no ways, I'm going to go, because I'm not going to get my answer sitting at home and worrying. And it isnt that church was going to give me the answer, but I know in the presence of God one gets answers and strength to do what I must and I could get that presence at home too but not by worrying, so off I ended up going at 6h15 when finally found my keys.

When I felt like just singing, I thought of how I screamed for the Bokke, so gave even more because I was glorifying the NAME above all Names!!! And at the end of church there was such an anointing on the service, we even sang after church about 3 songs, and it was in that that I met with Jesus again, and he answered somethings that I needed to find and be reminded of:

The foundation is love...

Everything God does is based and founded upon his love, so even in my life as I grow, I gotta know that it begins with Love. And tonight he just reminded me that He loves me, that I have compassion because He has compassion on me, he is moved by my needs, and weaknesses and inadequacies, or whatever, he looks at me and because of his love for me he reaches out and changes me and completes me ;) Love you Lord.

So, Why do I worry about a husband or who that will be, when I have a Husband! God! (Isaiah 54:10). Man did I forget? He is better than any man, he loves me with a perfect Love, and man he is more than enough... What an Amazing God, that he is our Lord, Saviour, Friend, Maker, Husband, Healer, Father, etc.etc.

Secondly or Thirdly or whatever...

A muslim guy asked me Why do we need Jesus in between when we pray? They pray straight to God and God is merciful and that is enough for them they dont need to pray through someone to get to God. Anyway in this moment of Worship, God answers even that, I wasnt even thinking about that but this revelation of this God of Compassion, Jesus who reaches down, I realised why. Because if there was no Jesus. God would still be in heaven and we would still be on earth and yes he would forgive us, but there will always be this gap between God and man. But Jesus, was this a revelation and Manifestation in flesh of how much God loves us, he doesnt want to just forgive us, he wants to be in relationship with us, and even come into our worlds even our lives. That is why we need Jesus. That is why God came. That is this God we serve. Wow, It's all because of Him. I dont want to serve him, but he is still there and I'm still here, but man God just reminded me what Compassion means, and that He is here, that I can walk tall because His son is with me, in me. I dont need to worry about things, because God is within me and He will give me the wisdom and the strength to do what I need to do. Thank you Lord for your Son Jesus. Thankyou God for Your plan for our lives. Thank you that it was not only to worship you, but to have fellowship with you... I love You Lord.

Jesus, your Name be lifted high!

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
There's just something about that Name
Master, Saviour, Jesus
Like the fragrance after the Rain
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Let all heaven and earth proclaim

That Kings, and Kingdoms, they shall all pass away
But there's something about that Name

What a privelege it is to know you and to be saved by you and mostly be loved by you Jesus.

I hope to always have my foundation right, You Lord, and your love.

May my life be a witness to your name
in Jesus Mighty and Marvelous name
Amen

Well Done Bokke and most Importantly GOD!

I just had to blog in honour of the Springbok's victory of the Rugby World Cup 2007 in France! :) It was so awesome just having faith and seeing the substance of things not yet seen. As I said in this time mustard seed faith moves mountains(now if i'll only believe for other things)

So lastly and more importantly, thank you Lord for your favour, you grace and your mercy. Protect each player and continue to grow us into the Champions you have designed us to be....(green - life, growth, growing; gold - champions!)

Nkosi sikele iAfrika
God bless Africa

This is a test :) - From Blogger to Multiply

Just enabled cross posting between Multiply and Blogger, and checking if it works, Hope it does...

Chan

I promise I will never destroy the earth through a flood again

This is what i saw on my way to work today :)




I always smile and appreciate this symbol of hope and promise from God himself to us and me.

This also brings to memory the funny comments when I visited childrens church about 2 weeks ago. " You know in the bible where God told Noah he would never destroy the earth with water again? Is he going to destroy it with fire now?" "Is that what global warming is?" And we think kids cant grasp the Word, when out in the world their minds are being filled with all sorts of theories and beliefs... All people of all ages have an opportunity to know and experience and learn about God.

Anyway back to the Rainbow. Thanks God for putting up this beatiful kaleidoscope of colour in the sky to remind us every time it rains that you wont destroy us with water, and thats a promise but that you care :) Also the story of Noah, that you meant for all to be safe.... And still today you mean for all to know you.

(Will put a post about the other rainbow flags on here next time)

This is a test :) - From Multiply to Blogger

Just enabled cross posting between Multiply and Blogger, and checking if it works, Hope it does...

Chan

Show me how to love like you have loved me

What a weird, great but terrible week!

I find myself growing so much closer or drawing so much closer to God this week. But at the same time, I'm struggling so with people. And it's not them cause I realise after they leave, the answers. But as I am, I then worry about what I've left in the hearts of the people I was struggling with. I realise it's a matter of acting on my conviction and not maybe sharing it with others before I act on it. Cause God is highlighting that area in my life. So of course if you tell others they not going to get it, it's what God is convicting me about. Also As Im growing in God, I realise I am more sensitive, vulnerable and so wanting to do the right thing, so if anything small goes wrong then it's so much bigger for me right now cause I just want to do what God is showing me. I realise that I should jsut be obedient in the first place to what I'm being convicted on. And not want approval or double tripple checking before I act, then it gets even more confused, because others are like "Huh!" What's up with her?

So Lord, I thank you for your grace and mercy and reaching out to me in this time, I thank you that my conscience is not seared and I sense what you are telling me to work on. And Lord in this season I want to do what you say and not just call you Lord Lord. I see that in the making a decision to act on my convictions, I am getting a backlash from the enemy and it makes me not just say well continue but like stop and be frustrated or cry a little, But God You are Still My Lord, and Strong and I will press On regardless! Cause Your voice is the voice I know. Lord I ask you to strengthen me in the inner man, that I may stand! And Lord allow me to manage my emotions, and to not speak to much when I know that I'm not at a place of answering too well. But Lord, I know Your hand is clearly on my life at the moment, so God even these Relational Issues, LORD please come through in Jesus Name! Thank You Lord for YOUR GRACE. Your mercy. Your ability to relate to You and to Others. God I wanna be stepping aside, I wanna be a blessing to others. I dont know why that is easier when Im not so right with you? So God help me to keep my eyes straight ahead and as I grow in you, Lord I know that you are going to fill me with your love and wisdom to love others....


"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity" - Hosanna- United

God's Promises to Me

Isaiah 54 - The Future Glory of Zion (Chan)


God's promise/word to me...

1 "Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.
2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.

3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

He has redeemed me, the past has no hold, nor will God cause me to be shamed as I step out into doing his will

4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

What a great reminder from the Word of God itself. And that God wants to be...

5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

It's easy to focus on the abandoned part and miss the Deep Compassion part. Perhaps the brief moment is the "Your sins have hidden his face part", but Even Jesus was abandoned for a brief moment on the cross. And I probably struggle with this because of struggling with rejection. BUt God didnt reject me and I guess hid his face for a moment when we were choosing our sin over him, but because our hearts were right we desired him even in the midst of our sin so that HE will have compassion on us, our Redeemer

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.

Ok So it was rebuke, and God says he will not be angry with us again...

9 "To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.

Here is my Shalom Asah (covenant of peace) - (Restoring/Rebuilding kind of Peace) - Promise from God for me. this scripture has been given me in my early growing days more than 1 time, so I know it's God speaking and I just gotta keep persevering cause God is not going to remove his covenant of restoring peace from me or stop loving me....

10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.


So true (not comforted) but so awesome, that God Himself will build me up. rebuild my walls, foundations with beautiful gems,stones. ALL my walls!


11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise, [a]
your foundations with sapphires. [b]

12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.

This is an amazing promise! That I claim, Yes Lord! That my children will have great peace! and That you would teach them Lord! And God is promising this

13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD,
and great will be your children's peace.

ThankYou Lord.... For establishing me in Righteousness but ALso protecting me from the Evil one.

14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.

Man and even if the enemy wants to attack me, becuase of you in me, they will surrender

15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

16 "See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;

YEAH! I receive this, claim this, believe this and thank you God that this is my heritage as your servant, That no weapon formed agianst me will prevail!

17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,"
declares the LORD.

What an awesome chapter covering:
* Purpose and mission
* God's unfailing love and covenant of peace to me
* How he is going to rebuild and building up my life
* That he is going to look after my children and teach them and give them great peace
* And that he will protect me from the EVil one so that nothing the enemy plans against me will prevail.

Thank You Lord!

Chan

Things that i read lately that made a little impact on me...

Some of these are just things I still need to chew on a little more but just highlighted in what I read in the past week...

no1 - A misunderstanding of God's Character
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Sheila Walsh- All that really matters, pg 32 to 33

Perhaps, like me, you have harboured a misunderstanding about God's charater and ways. There have been times in my life when I thought if I surrendered and area to God's control, he would take it away just to see if I loved him "enough".When i was sixteen years old, my mother becme sick... As I walked along the sand, a battle raged inside of me. I wanted to release Mom into God's hands and live in his peace, but I was terrified that if I did, he would take her.
I am convinced today that God is not like that. He is a jealous God, but he is also good and kind and loving. He is a parent too.

(This has been the way I too have handled many situations but God has been teaching me to trust him. Wrt to healing he said Dont I want that for you too? Of course he doesnt give us everything we want, but I know he walks with us and we are able to share our concerns burdens and get answers, burdens lifted, peace inside and even healing if he so desires)

no.2 Love in the shadows...
----------------------------------

See
http://chandre.blogspot.com/2007/06/thought-id-add-some-more-explaining.html
http://chandre.blogspot.com/2007/06/thankyou-lord-for-your-love.html

God has been to me a God who loves me in the shadows of my life and loved me out of the shadows into his Marvelous light


no.3 Little by little i am changing.
----------------------------------------

- Introduction to Battlefield of the mind - Joyce Meyer

(Great reminder when all the circumstances were scaring me to give up!)

no.4 Doing Good

tecigurl.blogspot.com

"i liked doing good, even back then in the dark ages of my soul :) , but "good" according to my own definitions, and what i want. Way far from Absolute Good, Right and True. But i was sure of what i wanted.

Now, i love doing good, but accdg to God's standards. That means way far from what's convenient or good enough or advantageous for me. And many times i'm not sure where i'm going; i'm following Someone who's ever faithful but the details might not be too clear at present...
i love doing good. i always have. And even if technically, i'm supposed to do good anyway, i actually do it because i choose to, because i want to. Not simply in and of itself, but also and more importantly, because i follow God who is good, because i obey God who commanded us to be good, because i love God who does good."

(doing good means doing the right thing for the right reasons, not what I feel like doing for myself)

no. 5 wrt to Stress/procrastination

http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/EverydayAnswers/Articles/art13.htm

"Stop Thinking and Talking About Your Problems
The state of upset or arousal sets off an alarm in the body to defend itself from threatening, hostile events. Even thinking of an upsetting event or imagining danger can also trigger the alarm. A chain of responses are set into motion inside us to fight or run from the circumstance. "

(I realised thats the reason I procrastinate, its the fright, flight or freeze. I freeze when I stress, and Its really been great now taking those thoughts captive before i freeze again)

procastination at its best or worst

3:45AM

And I still have not begun my project due for 9AM, and struggling to get myself to do it...Strategic Information Systems!

I know that I need to do it, but to do it is difficult. Well here goes!

Scriptures regarding Stress and thoughts...

This is taken from the Joyce Meyer website...

Articles on Stress is really great as well as scriptures for inner man

John 14:27 (Amplified) says, "Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled."

Colossians 1:11-12
That I may be strengthened with all power, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks.

Grace, More Grace and Grace Intensified....

I was at a meeting the other night and I found out the no. 5 means Grace... this was a much needed sentence/statement in a the midst of a week of challenges but also a 180 degree turn in my relationship with God or I hope it was that :) Anyway, the word spoke to me, I also got a little vision during praying of a White gloved hand in a dark room, reaching towards me, I couldnt see the arm or antyhing just the white glove.

So whats this about grace, more grace, and Grace intensified about...

Well my first name Chandré means womanly - feminine grace.
My second name Jo-Anne means God is Gracious
My favourite number is 5 which means grace
(oh yes my dearest deceased Grandmothers name was Ann - Grace)

And then I decided to check it out on the net and it turns out 25 my birthdate is Grace Intensified...

So Grace, More Grace and Grace intensified...

Undeserved Favour, Amazing Grace, the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ

Saved BY GRACE Not by works, so that I can't boast, but this grace is the gift of God to me...

Ephesians 2:4

4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

2 Thessalonians 2:15-17
15So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings[a] we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.
16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

Philippians 4:23
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

New Section for just general Blogs...

Today, not feeling good. Besides what happened yesterday I also went to bed extremely late, so it was a mission to get up this morning. I'm realising that I'm going to have to draw some serious lines in the sand with regards to this balance thing or I'm going to keep oversleeping, or having a ripple effect in other areas of my life or messing up in ways I dont want to. And really dont enjoy this tiredness and the things that go with oversleeping and drowsiness.

gotta go..

Fire Burns - Jon Owens

This song is so anointed and powerful it's great to know and realise this is the fire of God too I am experiencing, and Man my favourite part is

Arise Generation! No longer Forsaken! Arise! Arise! Arise!

Not just for me, but my generation, my sisters and their generation even my father and mother and their generation! No longer forsaken! Arise Arise Arise!

Fire burns - Jon Owens
======================

Dont wanna go back Lord
to the way I used to live
the way I used to live
I wont go back Lord
to the way I used to be
before You rescued me

I will not stop till every tribe and nation
bows before You
I will not stop till they all see Your glory
See Your Glory

Your Fire burns within me
Burn within me with Your Fire

Lift up your eyes to see the glory of the Lord is on the earth
Arise, Arise!

Arise Generation, No longer forsaken
Arise! Arise! Arise!

http://www.myspace.com/jonowensmusic - the whole song you can listen to here... and the meaning behind the CD is -

""Arize Live" is an alarm. It is to wake up the hearts of men and women that have laid dormant in hibernation. It is to wake up hearts who have seen the darkness that surrounds and have mistaken it for night.

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and His glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn. - Isaiah 60:1-3

THIS IS OUR FINEST HOUR!!! This is a time for those in the church to be reminded of their first love Jesus Christ. This is a time for unbelievers to meet the Perfect Lover of their souls and be forever changed. And it is a time for God's beautiful church to rise up and show forth His glory to all the nations.

ARIZE, ARIZE, ARIZE!!!"

Just had to blog this...

Got this on one of the groups I belong to on Facebook, it really answered some things in my life I struggle/am unsure about... (Note I did not write this I just copied it to remind myself of this revelation because its a situation i find myself in regularly)

Depending on Him

Isaiah 30:15-17
Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourself. Your strength will come from settleing down in complete dependence on ME.

30:18
He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you - God take the time to do everything right- EVERYTHING- Those who wait around for Him are the lucky ones.

Exodus 14:14
God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouth SHUT!

Have you ever been in a situation where, with all your heart you want to speak something to a person to change their lifes? I get in those situations a lot. And i use to just say what ever popped into my mind but I always found myself getting in to trouble for what i said. I finally got tired of just saying what come up and so i sat down and prayed and these are some verses God gave me.

God Will fight my battles. And i need to just sit back and trust him. He is the only one who will give me the RIGHT words to say and to say it at the right time.

God is waiting for Me to completly trsut and depend on Him.

I Made a promise to God, that from that day on i would look to him and rely on him in these situations. And its amazing to see Him work and how differently things turn out! I would strongly recomend doing this. It will honestly change your life!

Indescribable...

Indescribable - Chris Tomlin

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

---
This has been my experience Saturday at Cape Point and Boulders Beach - Again reminded of the fact that we give gifts of paintings, art, flowers, etc. God's gift to us a creation, he gave it us to enjoy and marvel, thats how much he loves us... We are worth so much more though, yet for us he created oceans, beautiful mountains, sunsets, colourful rainbows, and structured and unstructured trees, pretty flowers...

An accident? (I think not)

Groetjes Jongens en Meisjes

This is just a post to honour the 8 dutch athlete missionary couples who spent the last 3 weeks serving in SA. I'm not sure if they will see this post, but I've said alot of this yesterday at the farewell braai... but it was really great to meet real christians from the Netherlands, and also just be impacted by their lives and FUNNINESS... Goodbye and God bless you Dianne, Huub, Marioryn, Robert, Williana, Wytze, Jan and Esther, we will miss you. Oops and I forgot little Lukas.

Huub and Wytze skiing in the alps...

Robert, Marjorein, Dianne, Williana - We love you guys and thanks Williana for the lovely choc banana recipe ;)

Planning for the Youth Service

Jan and Esther - Here Jan Looks like a pastor :)

Dianne and Huub in their play...

There's a bear!!! And over falls a Sprinbok Rugby player because of Jans strength :)

Thanks So much Robert for helping us with the sound!

Baby Lukas! And the rest of the team... :)


Dankjewel om jullie levenswijze te delen en om te tonen dat er nog echte Christenen zijn in Nederland. Bedankt voor de plezierige momenten maar om onze gemeenschap en onze gemeente te dienen. Jullie werk in de school heeft veel vrucht gedragen en we hopen verder te kunnen werken met de kinderen die willen doorzetten.

Moge God jullie zegenen bij jullie terugkeer in Nederland met Zijn Liefde, Aanwezigheid, Plezier, Doel en Richting. Moge jullie verder grootse dingen doen, niet alleen voor God in de wereld, maar ook in jullie thuis en voor jullie zelf, in de manier dat jullie liefhebben en dienen.

Heel erg veel bedankt en hopelijk zien we mekaar nog terug.

[Lastly if anyone else is interested the group they belong to is Athletes in Action, in particular netherlands - www.aia-holland.com/ athletesinaction.nl , for the rest of the world just do a google search of Athletes in Action]

a glimpse of heaven....

Was singing my favourite song (or at least one of my favourite songs) on the way to work...

Nothing will be the same
All of my life You've changed
Just for a moment, heaven had opened
I saw You..

I then looked up and saw this...



Heaven opening for me,:)

Here's the rest of the song...

Nothing will be the same
All of my life you’ve changed
Just for a moment, heaven was opened
I saw you…

How will I spend my days
Now that you held my gaze
All that surrounds me
I’d lose now you found me
I’d lose it…

Chorus:

For my eyes have seen your glory
For my ears have heard your name
I have placed my hand in Your hand
I will never be the same

My tower, my strength, my song
You are my salvation
Is there no end to your mercy, my friend
You Amaze me...

So I never will return
And it’s only for You I burn
Nothing behind me
Can now undermine me
I’m all Yours…

I have placed my hand in Your hand
and I will never be the same
For my eyes have seen Your glory
For my ears have heard Your name
I have placed my hand in Your hand
I will never be the same

(I will never be the same - Tree63)

Happy Belated Birthday!

This a happy belated birthday post :) Why Happy? Because the JOY of the Lord is my strength, and that's been whats been a fresh revelation since turning 27,that as I am positive, believe God, enjoy life, life improves even in the tough times, I have Hope and it's then that I must allow his Joy and the Joy of Having in my life be the strength that pulls me through not only the tough times, but every time in life!

Thanks God for 27 YEARS, may the next year and the years thereafter bring Glory to your Name, and may I be even closer to you, in Jesus Mighty Name, Amen!

Some More Birthday Pics:

Two Kinds of Wisdom....

Who is wise and understanding among you?

Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

But

if you harbor
bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts,
do not
boast about it or deny the truth.

Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven
but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all
pure;
then peace-loving,
considerate,
submissive,
full of mercy and good fruit,
impartial and
sincere.

Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

James 3: 13 - 18

2006 Malaysia/Australia Trip... Funny Memories

I thought I'd put some funny memories down, before I forget to ever record that (test on Friday we learnt that firstly information needs to be knowable, then recorded, then accessible,etc,etc.) Was looking at the pics today and thought about these funny memories...

Firstly what has stood out in my memory was the 2 moments, that could have given others a funny but slightly warped perception of South Africans. But before I tell you those memories, let me first tell you that though I love cultures, and places, I am a very finicky eater, (they even joke that I'm white sometimes because I dont like the typical coloured young person gatsby meal - extra large chip/frenchfries roll with lots of sauce, and other stuff on,eg. viennas (the pink muslim type), steak,etc.) So eating was especially hard for me in Malaysia, cause I dont like asian spices... Although the others were so happy about it, at least Miriam had a hard time just like me. Also point no. 2 seeing that chicken doesnt look like Chicken in SA in Malaysia and the little fastfood stores we walked past...I am slowly beginning to become a vegetarian (slowly).

Funny Memory no.1 - Australian Ham/SA Perception

Now having said that, the first night staying at the Moses family in Sydney's house we were quite happy being able to make our own food in the kitchen. They were quite late because they were in the ushering team at the conference, so had just left some food out for us. Well the others started frying them burgers, and rolls, but when I came into the kitchen I spotted Ham! And I was so excited, cause it was for me just a taste of home, so instead of making me a burger, I sliced some tomatoes, made me a cup of coffee, and made a lovely fresh roll with ham, tomato, lettuce, salt and pepper, sandwhich to drink with the coffee, It looked quite nice so some of the others also made them. Well the ham was thicker than normal, and especially I like shaved ham, so I was prepared for extreme hammy taste, even though I dont like thick slices, I prefer it to the not eating for 3 days in Malaysia. Also it was a much longer slice than in SA, but again, there everything is bigger too! The cereal boxes, the coke cans, etc., etc. Anyway, the other girls begin to eat their rolls up and I take a bite, and it's not entirely nice, because its thick,or at least thats why I thought it wasnt tasting nice, but I continue to eat half up, the rest finished theirs. Just then Denise walks in back from the conference, and takes one look at me with the roll in my hand and the others busy finishing their last bites, eyes with a horrified expression, and says "Why are you eating the raw bacon???" Knowing me, I didnt finish my roll, even though it didnt taste much different, knowing it was raw bacon and all our lessons on the tapeworm in std. 9 was enough to scare me. However I went to bed really canning myself. Becuase I know that probably what went through her head was Dont us South Africans know what bacon is??? Lol. Well it was news to us too that bacon looks different in different countries, and no ways would we eat raw bacon if we knew it, but their raw bacon looked and tasted exactly like our cooked ham slices. But of course that's not what it looked like, and we would have had the same reaction if we saw someone from overseas eating our raw bacon :) I laughed till tears came into my eyes :) (My mother told me afterwards, it's because our bacon is smoked thats why it looks different)

Funny Memory no. 2 - Malaysian Airport/ SA Perception

This is similar to the one above. We were on our way back to South Africa, having arrived from Sydney at the Malaysian airport, and waiting for our flight from Malaysia back to Cape Town. I was terribly thirsty and went to a pub to buy me some cooldrink. I asked for some Coke, but then some other people arrived and because I was paying with my credit card, I let them go first. Then they were taking so long and I really really wanted my drink. The moment they left I asked the Guy if I could start drinking my cooldrink so long while he swiped my card,[[disclaimer, according to overseas people we look very different, esp. in Malaysia we got lots of Where you froms? Even though to us we looked similar to eveyrone else. Ok not eveyrone, but in Australia at the conference too I realised, people are used to White, and Black, but they couldnt place brown skin, I thought it would be obvious that I'm from South Africa but some of the answers I got was Saudi Arabia.]] So with the waiter I was very much aware that I was different, and he probably noticed that,and he says Ok, Of course and turns around immediately after that. I take the can open it, turn my head up and take a swig of the drink, man I was so thirsty wasnt really thinking straight,and also have been told lots of times I need to be more lady like (thats what happens if you grow up hanging alot with guy cousins) He turns back at that point with a straw in his hand, turning just in time to see me with my head turned up, in a very unladylike position. And his eyes also was wide. I realised then, ok maybe drinking without a straw sometimes may be normal, maybe not lady like but not somehting to be shocked about. But maybe there, he sees this lady walk in, pay with her credit card, and gets her a straw, only to see her drinking it like a man! And maybe that isnt normal there (or elsewhere for that matter), lol. I found that funny too. Dont worry I am more careful in public now and do use my straws, but I was desperate that day for a sip, lol.

Funny Memory no. 3 - Malaysian Hotel/Accent and Food Troubles.

So it's 11pm at night, and I realise I need to eat something, I need to take my arthritis meds, and definitely cannot take it on an empty stomach. So then someone mentions that room service is still open. So as I said before, I was really not eating those days in Malaysia, in fact, the others bought me KFC a Zinger, but I just said no thankyou, and when I asked Lucinda if it tastes the same she also said, no it doesnt, and I wouldnt have liked it... So right now, I wasnt terribly hungry, lol I'm a weird one, If I dont like somehthing and there arent alternatives, even my hunger seems to go away. I decide to call him and ask him for a plain toasted cheese sandwhich (what harm can there be in that?). Well the guy struggles to speak English over the phone, and I tell him, I just want a toasted Cheese Sandwhich, only bread and cheese, nothing extra, no spices, nothing, just toasted bread and cheese. I repeated this a couple of times. He asked me Do I want a packet? I said I dont mind if it's in a packet or a plate, but I dont want anything else Just BREAD, CHEESE. Nothing else, No spice, no tomato, nothing...Just the above. While waiting for the meal, everyone in my room was on my case for being prepared to pay R40 for a toasted cheese sandwhich, but I said, i just want somethng that tastes like home, and I'm prepared to pay that for it. And anyway I still had lots of money left, but I really just want to eat something normal! But the rest kept going on with me, also slowly making me feel bad that I made that choice, though I didnt let on. When the meal came, it was a plate, with chips (nothing extra?) and the bread looked burned or funny, and I lifted the bread to double check before the waiter left, and lo and behold it wasnt just cheese, it was ham (packet = PIG! thats what he was saying do I want pig on it!) Also the ham wasnt pink, but a browny red colour...And I was like I'm sorry I'm going to return it, and they said it was ok, because I did state that I want nothing on it clearly, and I wasnt prepared to pay R40 not sure how many ringets for somehting I know I'm not going to like! And it being pork too especially I am not taking my chances...I felt bad though for returning the meal and semi gave into the saving my money plea, and went out at 11h30 to buy next door a packet of chips/crips and a can of coke and biscuits to eat so I could take my tablets.

(well got to australia, discoverd mcd's ate it everyday, and its so much better than our mcd's there, got addicted, and man picked up alot of weight since then!but at least mcd's tasted like home then)

Funny Memory no. 4 - My broken Finger/Jacob Experience

When Jacob wrestled with God, he grew immensely spiritually, but left with a broken hip. I went to the conference, growing in LOVE for God, and receiving his love and a finger broken which is still skew to this day. Why did I break my finger and why is my finger skew? Well, firstly our combi/minivan we drove, had one missing seat, the one where you would normally push forward to get to the back seats, that one was missing. So I sat in the third row (the missing seat being the second row) and kept sitting after many caution comments from the rest, and slight falling forwards, I kept forgetting and sitting on the same spot. Secondly our Drivers (they were great considering the circumstances) were not used to driving automatic, so would always stop abruptly, and no. 3 In South Africa an orange robot/traffic light (lol another funny southafricanism,that gets strange looks when you forget that the rest of the world doesnt know what you mean at the Robot turn left, and I laugh if I think maybe they are imagining big silver Robots, because thats what I am saying.) means slow down, red means stop. In Australia, Orange means stop and everyone seems to know exactly when the robots going to go orange, so everytime it turns orange, our drivers slam the breaks. (to avoid an accident)... So on one of those occasions, the last day of teh conference we were on our way there, and our driver slammed the breaks, and I flew from the 3rd row and hit the first rows back, and put my hand out to break my fall and not break anything else... I felt a little pain and my finger started going stiff, and with 2 nurses in our team they just looked and said its ok, and christine snapped it in another direction, it not making a difference but she saying it will be ok, within an hour, at the conference, we split in different directions, my finger is now twice the size and bloody inside, blue, red and blackspots, I could see in my finger, again the pain was as if I bumped my hand hard, but not unbearable which I thought is how breaking a finger feels, During the worship I clapped my hands, just avoiding that finger, (it was paining, like a pulsing kind of pain, but again, if I could continue and clap my hands surely its not serious so I thought I'd wait and see what happens) aftewards I went to the loo and bumped into an asian girl who I just asked to look at my finger, asking her Do you think it's broken? She was also shocked by the way it looked, but said well if it's not paining then it's not broken. Eventually the swelling came down and about a month later back in SA, having totally forgotten about my finger one morning I look at my finger and it is skew, leaning to the opposite side. I then decide to go to the doc and he confirms that it could be broken and already grown healed. cause you apparantly have to come for it to be in casting, in 2 - 4 weeks. He calls the other doc to just confirm his suspician and they both say yes, and if I want my finger to be straight I would need to have it rebroken again. My doc also reminded me that pain is not the only sympton of broken fingers, or any sickness. And now I have to remember if you taking chemotherapy drugs to walk normal and painfree, of course things wont hurt (same with period pains, i always wonder how come eveyrone around me is cramping and then I remember oh yes, I dont feel pain the way others do, also I have lots of blue marks that i wonder about, same thing, when I bumped myself it was actually harder than what it felt). So Yes I went all the way to Australia to break my finger. The fall was also pretty funny, The others told me the car stopped and they were all still in the seats, but I was flying forward,lol. welcome to my world!

Well there are many more funny moments/great moments, asking random strangers if they're part of my church, but that only after 5 minutes of talking, and the guys wondering which one of them know me, and me assuming they are people I know. Not paying the cab money! (well I really wnat to still pay Joseph and have really tried to contact him!)
Falling asleep on the last day of the conference during the session and the stranger next to me, catching my book before it fell on the floor.(well we ended up being friends!) Falling asleep in other sessions and thinking I'm the only one, and seeing all the others around me sleeping - Well thats what happens if you go to bed 3am and wake up 5 am. Tina and I's great coloured worship sessions in the bathroom! In 40000 people bumping into one guy with a SARugby shirt on, and that group growing to abotu 10 people standing int the middel of one of the routes at the conference. Talking about Joel Houston, and then him walking past McD's right after I Spoke about him, and my automatic reaction was to wave, and he waved back, but a bit embarrased afterwards that I waved. Lots of laugh sessions with Miriam about this and other things. Weird moments, was looking at everyone else as if they are different,when I was the different one. This was extremely weird/funny, when the last monring in malaysia, I was late for breakfast, and went alone in the lift, and there are 10 asian people,and I get in out of breath, and see 10 eyes looking back at me, esp. the little toddler, I could imagine "Mom, what kind of a person is that?" One is all loud when you're in a group, but on your own, you very aware how different you are. Great moments, were meeting Hani in the mall in malaysia. I sat there for 2 - 4 hours!

Oh for the record, I did like the Pineapple Juice in Malaysia!

Broken Finger!

thought I'd add some more explaining

This is what I wrote to a friend about what this song means to me.

The lyrics that stand out for me is:

Oh love in the shadows
Be the light who leads me on

What I'm currently experiencing is God, is someone who no. 1 finds you in the shadow and leads you to the light, even when everyone else is looking at you and judging the fact that you may be in a shadow, or even not looking at you or even to you everyone else looks brighter and you're just in the shadow, but He comes and finds you in the shadow and leads you to his light... thats point no.1 but even greater is point no. 2 that He comes and loves you in the shadows. At the worst point in your life, or even your darkest moment. Love finds you there...

Weird Observation no. 2 which is probably something I should get used to. When I listened to the meaning behind the song I got quite a fright because Joel said the same thing I say so many times, and still need to blog, that God defines Love, and what i know of love is just a drop of what love really is, and if i want to know love and love, i need to grow in Him first, in receiving and loving him (Just love on Him) and in that I will begin knowing and being defined by true love...(1 John, God is love). And with this love completing and filling me, I can love others, not with my previous needy, selfish or emotional or even sentimental love, but with the Agape, God kind of love, that has no conditions, limits, that is so filling me, that it overflows into the lives of those who I come into contact with. That I have something to give :)

Lord thankyou for your love in the shadows... You are absolutely amazing, and your Love really is my anchor, even when my whole life is falling apart, your light has always been the flame in the darkness, it has never gone out, only burned brighter and brighter as I have looked to you first... I'm sorry for looking to the left and to the right and for trying to find you in the people around me. You are there, but I know that you dont want me to know you just through people or books or even experiences, events. But you want to transform my life with your Ephesians 3 love that I cannot even the heights or depths of this love, as I yield, surrender and seek Your face.

Love You Lord

Never Let Me Go (Blog)

Thankyou Lord for your love

Hillsong United - Never let me go

Verse 1
In the shadows my spirit weak
Love broke the darkness and lifted me
And I know you'll never let me go

Verse 2
In the storm in the raging sea
Love conquered the fear and delivered me
And I know you'll never let me go

Chorus
Oh love in the shadows
Be the light who leads me on
You're love I will follow
Be my guide, you're will be done
Oh Lord

Verse 3
In the arms of the one unseen
Love carried the cross that was meant for me
And I know you'll never let me go

Bridge
Oh love I surrender, now forever I'll be loved
In the love of the father, you are faithful you are strong

So hold me now, hold me now, hold me now
(Missing a part that I really like but will add later)

Verse 4
Nothing in this life has walked these streets
Love opened my eyes show me what you see
And I know I'll never let you go

Isaiah 41:

8 "But you, O Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Baby Pics...

Can't believe I havent put this up yet... But aint I the cutest... My favourite is the one with the blue dress.

The desire of my heart

The desire of my heart - Chandre De Wet 18 June 2007

my heart,
my words,
my mind,
my spirit,

just a shadow of

your heart,
your words,
your mind,
your spirit

help me to shine

your light
not mine

tell

your story
not my glory

A world to be reached
People to teach
I am not enough
But with You I can do all things

You call us to sow, to water, but you will grow
You remind us to go, but you will do

Lord, remind me

to keep the focus
Christ the foundation
Christ in me the inspiration
Christ crucified the message
Christ the motive
let me not lose the focus

people may not understand
but you are the softener of hearts
my words sometimes too simple or complicated
but you speak all our hearts languages

To you O Lord I commit

my heart,
my words,
my mind,
my spirit,

So my life may lead many to

your heart,
your words,
your mind,
your spirit

The desire of my heart

Some Old Poetry and Songs and Writings - That may Still be true :)

Most written in 2002 and before that but all written by me

1) I will praise You, My Psalm

I will praise You for all that You are
For You are more than everything
I will praise You regardless of what I feel
For this is bigger than emotions
I will praise You no matter who’s watching
For You are my song, and can’t be quieted
I will praise You for all of my days
For my day,my years,my life belongs to You
I will praise You early in the morning
For You have given me a brand new hope
I will praise You in the darkest of nights
For Your light will never be overshadowed
I will praise You when my heart is broken
For You are the healer of wounds
I will praise You when I reach higher heights
For without You I am lower than low
I will praise You for every good thing
For that simply means that it came from You
I will praise You for every grieving trial
For if I made it through it only means I’m stronger
I will praise You for every good friend in my life
For it only means for each friend put in my life,You have thought of me
I will praise You for my family
For You love me enough, not to leave me alone
I will praise you for every smile and laugh that comes from my lips
For it is only the joy of Your Salvation that makes me happy
I will praise You for every tear, and broken heart
For it is then that I feel Your comfort the most
I will praise You for my every breath
For it means that You have a purpose and hope for me
I will praise You even in my death
For it means at last I can be with you

I will praise You no matter what.
For You are everything,
My life, my being, my comfort, my strength, my love…
My God.

2) Take a breath

Take a breath
Slow down
You’re running way too fast
Hold on
Close your eyes
Hear my breathing
Listen to my voice

Let go
You’re holding on too tight
Your weights are pulling you back
Don’t worry
Take my load
It is easy and gentle
Let me carry you

Put out your hand
And quiet down
And you will feel my palms against yours

I never leave, nor do I sleep
I know your fears.
But if you won’t speak to me
I can’t show you what to do
And if I write the answers down
You wont understand if you don’t read

Trust me, everything will work out.
You just have to take it one step at a time…
Slowly now, there’s so much I still wanna show you, teach you
Aah, I see you are beginning to understand.
All I wanna do is hold you
Look after you
Be with you
Commune with you
Love you
Give you My peace

3) The Foreverness of God…

Just been thinking about God and how everything he does is forever,eternal, never ending…

I think about His eternal love…undending…
I think about the cross how it was for all people, forever after that.
I think about how He made eternity for us.
I think about how He is outside of time. There’s just no end.
I think about how he said let there be light, and today that light is still reaching out, stretching and reaching galaxies, unknown till the light came and continues to go on.

Everything from God and in God is eternal, lasts forever. It is unending, knows no limits, no boundaries and continues to go out, reaching further and further, getting closer, yet still so far to go, and keep going.

So doesn’t it just seem right that when it comes to things of us, that You wouldn’t still work in Your forever way. That Your purposes in our lives are just events and not something that You are continuing and growing and changing.

Oh Lord when you saved us, it wasn’t only so we could now rest assured that we are going to heaven, it wasn’t only so that we can know our sins are now forgiven because of the blood of the lamb. It wasn’t a once off thing. It was an eternal ever changing, ever growing, ever shaping, ever taking us to the next glory, higher and higher, till we realise we only reached the tip of the iceberg and that you have even more install for us.

Eternal things are things that can’t be measured, can’t be put into a box, can’t stop it from moving because there are just no boundaries, no edges, no markings, it just keeps going where it’s never been before, new places, new dreams replacing old ones, newer dreams replacing the new ones, new joys, new challenges, yet new rewards, victories, only to find that the new is old again and there’s more in store.

Let us never stop seeking and serving this eternal God, let us never think that our love is enough, and always seek to be more, do more, love more, give more, show more, surrender more, to the God who’s more never ends. May we realise that what He began in us, wasn’t meant to end then, but that even now, he is longing for us to press in even more and not be satisfied with just yesterday’s blessings, but just desire, take hold of the abundance and the “more” he has!

May we forever be changed and want to be changed, be in His presence and desire to be, be humbled and want to be broken before and eternal God, who eternally loves, shapes and saves. May we always place our lives in His hands and allow His hands to mould us into what He had planned for us since the beginning of time.

Love you Lord.

4) Deeper than deep

Deeper than deep
Never let me go
When my world crashes down
And the storm winds blow

When I’ve cried my last tear
And I’ve lost my last will
Deeper than Deep
Remain with me still

5) 19 May 2002 - A prayer to my Saviour

A great sacrifice, A precious gift
Given by One who’s heart of Love
Has room enough for me

Past hurts and Present fears
Threatening to Cloud my hope and vision
Stumbling as I try to be what You want

Lost faith in people, Grudges gained
The Image of You, fastly fading from me
I ask how much more can I take?

Reminded again of You
All answers, strength and Life in You
How could I forget You?

For what if You too forgot
Decided it was one too many times
And turned Your back on my sins

Your great Love kept me from being consumed
You gave it all for me
You became my Father and I Your Child

Shape me, Oh Lord, in Your Potters Hand
Fill me with your Love, Holiness and Joy
Teach me, and Mould me

I love You Lord, God of My heart
In Your Arms I find my peace
Without You I am lost

Thank You always, My Messiah
You saved me and I am
Eternally grateful

Thankyou

6) Constant

Sometimes just life itself’s a challenge
without being watched.
Sometimes just getting up in the morning’s
a battle to be won.
Sometimes faithful prayers seem faithless
and cries don’t reach the roof.
Sometimes I feel so far away
when my whole being longs for You.

Yet,Sometimes when everything’s so confusing
I know that You’re the truth.
And when everyone’s deserted me
I know that I’ll find You.
And when I’m running scared and lonely
Your love will shelter me.
When I’m feeling hurt and broken
I’ll find peace beneath Your wings.

Chorus:
Through all the shattered pieces of my heart
His love remains constant
Through all the hurt we cause,impose
His love remains constant
In our lowest moments,deepest mistakes
His love remains constant
Rollercoaster lives, Changing, Falling
He remains constant,
So constant

Cause when everything we see is falling
We’re to look beyond the seen.
Cause when everything seems huge and frightening
We’re to look within.
Cause when the grey clouds bring the storms and rain
The Sun still shines above.
When we’ve reached the bottom of this pit
His heart still burns with love.
Cause God is who He says He is,
Not a man that He should lie
And when man would push and shove to live
He would rather die.
Through lies deceit people with two faces
He remains the same
The sinner, the broken, the quitter,the lost
His ageless,constant aim

Never changing hope, never fading truth, endless love
You remain constant… so constant
My only hope, the truth, my love
You remain constant… so constant

7) I breathe and I live

Sometimes, Lord You feel so far away
And I feel that I can't pray
And my tears, they are running down my face
And fear seems to overwhelm my faith

chorus:
But into your presence Lord I run
no matter what I feel
Your shadow it hides me, humbles me
and so I kneel
Love always close, Mercy near
You'll never leave
And it's in your presence that I breathe
I breathe and I live

Father, God, You are so faithful...
You say the Word and it stays true...
And while my life goes round and round(& round & round)
You remain the same...

chorus

bridge
One more time, I close my eyes
One more time, You forgive me
And though I fall, I am not fallen
And though I bleed, I will not die

And one more time, You lift me up!
And one more time, You rescue me!
And though I cry, You draw near
And though I weep, I know I'll dance again...

8) This is the Secret
(see hopeofglory.blogspot.com for info on song)

verse 1:

I close my eyes
And I am surrounded
By the beauty of Your love

In pastures green
You make me lie down
And I find Your peace

Totally secure in You
Satisfied by Your sweet truth

Chorus:

This is the secret
And how can I not be in awe
Mystery revealed
And how can I not be overwhelmed
Jesus in me
My heart can’t contain this joy I’ve found
Companion’s with You
All of my days I’ll humbly bow
For You’ve chosen me, to know
The secret of Your glorious love…

verse 2:

Eyes open wide
And all I can see
Are traces of Your majesty

Creation bears witness
We shout Your praises
Inviting all to join in (this dance)

Hear the redeemed, say “I am free”
Hear the song, “He’s chosen me”


9)My heart in Your hands
Friday, 23 September 2005

Comments: I guess the only safe place and where it's meant to be for our hearts, is in His hands... Bible says Guard your heart, and the heart is deceitful...Let's give our hearts to him to heal and look after and to love.

As I listen once again
I'm wondering if you could hold me
Can I rest my head on Your shoulder
knowing you or I'll never leave

Can You hold my heart inside your hands
I'm afraid I'd let it go
This relationship's so precious
I cannot afford to take any risks

You're the only one who knows me
You know me better than myself
Will You show me how to love You more
Show me how to bless Your heart

I'm standing here with outstretched arms
Praying you'll reach down
I cannot without You Lord
I'm clumsy with my heart