Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Die week se denke...

Dit was a bietjie moeilike week en tyd. No matter how much I want to be where I should be I am just so aware, about all my muck, pride, distance, inability to hear, people issues, broken heart issues, fear of man issues, overthinking, dunno how to bridge the gap between god and me, too much on my plate, overwhelmed,etc.etc.etc.. oh and pain esp. at night.

But amidst this whirlwind of life...God has been speaking, reassuring, even if it was just a facebook wall post by a friend, or a song playing in my head.

So it's only Tuesday, but this week these are the little steps God has put on my heart or at least I think it's him or maybe I know its him cause I've been too out of it to come up with this myself.

Yesterday. God woke me up with praise on my heart. In Particular the Song...There is no one like you, - David Crowder Band. And praise I did, also the psalms in 140 something reminded me to praise, to make God my shield...to trust in Him...

Today: woke up with the song Hope of Suzy Yaraei...
I then made an attempt to listen to the song before i face my day cause I know in this past time it has been hard to have hope. Its been a while since I've been the full of hope Chandre I've always been. But after listening to the song, agian and the hope with which she sings it I was stirred and reminded Christ in me the hope of glory! See previous blog for lyrics:
"Hope,call it up now,make it alive,We’v got 2 reach inside for,Hope wont let us down,no room 4doubt,Got 2believe He’s in us!BR:Christ the Hope of Glory!

I heard over the weekend that the way sex slaves cope is to let go of hope. Cause hope makes it hard to face what they need to, easier just to give up hope of ever being free.

People always say to pray and get what u are praying u have to believe have to have faith, have to see what u are praying for, but if u have no hope, how is that possible. What if u are trying but u just cannot see the picture change... So all the changes i want to see requires hope at first, seeing what I don't see - Heb11:1 - faith is the substance of things hoped for.... first have to hope! then faith will be substance of that. but if i lost hope....

Thank God, Christ in me is the hope of glory...and that too as Romans 15: 13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

This makes it all a bit easier, i am scared, i am overwhelmed, but I do have Christ and the Holy Spirit in me, and as I look to him and trust HIM, not myself, He fills me, overflows me, and as I hold on to that cornerstone inside me! believe he is in me, hope will arise....

Thank You Jesus...

today I got a bit of Wait too... in Jason Upton's song Emma, i think Beyond the Window part...it says "as we wait on him, new wings...so we wait on him, sometimes there's just nothing left to do but wait on him"

Really people when i look at myself ek sien nie 'n uitweg nie! but i will  hope in him, and wait on him even in the midst and in the waiting and praising my Faithful God will come through :)

Amen! You see it works, if u knew how down I was today and now can rejoice...it's just Him! without him I am gemors.

Father, father me...
Chandre