My Lord it's amazing how rollercoaster life can be, one moment I'm desiring to be closer,the next moment it happens, and then begins to bear fruit, next moment I don't want to trust you! How is this possible except you are allowing this so you can heal what I don't see.
LORD HEAL ME! Heal me from Religion, Heal me from Distrust, Heal me from all the walls I have put to protect myself, heal me from fears...
Shared this with someone else today, but Lord perfect me with your love:
John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love 19 We love because he first loved us"
Lord I need you. Preciso de Ti!
Jesus I need you. Precious Holy Spirit do not stop working in my life, do not stop drawing me nearer Lord. I surrender everything even in my fear. GOD overwhelm me in your love, teach me your ways!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
learning...
So many moments of my day is thoughts, revelations, which I hardly write down. I thought the title fitting as really what more can I say.
Today I learnt by personal experience, that I need to fill up with God daily, bear my cross daily, it's a daily bread anointing. I learnt this by being totally drained. I also realised when you begin to walk in God, this includes being mindful of what you say and do and if not you may find yourself feeling far from God, and wonder why? But then when you think about it you maybe see small compromises or worldly things you have done and didn't repent of. I thank God for showing me where I missed the mark though. He is so faithful :) I am beginning to learn that really it is all about him,even walking the walk. Without him helping, leading, directing, strengthening, it's just religion. Also learning that sometimes when you learn something you're so excited you run ahead, then run into trouble, God is still the one leading us....and should be. But thank you Lord that you so faithfully bring me back to where I should be.
1 John 2:27 b
But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him.
But let me just end this note with saying Thank You to God for his faithfulness to me this week, well always, but Lord this week I am so grateful for your protection, your friendship, your love, your grace, your opportunities. Thank You Lord
Today I learnt by personal experience, that I need to fill up with God daily, bear my cross daily, it's a daily bread anointing. I learnt this by being totally drained. I also realised when you begin to walk in God, this includes being mindful of what you say and do and if not you may find yourself feeling far from God, and wonder why? But then when you think about it you maybe see small compromises or worldly things you have done and didn't repent of. I thank God for showing me where I missed the mark though. He is so faithful :) I am beginning to learn that really it is all about him,even walking the walk. Without him helping, leading, directing, strengthening, it's just religion. Also learning that sometimes when you learn something you're so excited you run ahead, then run into trouble, God is still the one leading us....and should be. But thank you Lord that you so faithfully bring me back to where I should be.
1 John 2:27 b
But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him.
But let me just end this note with saying Thank You to God for his faithfulness to me this week, well always, but Lord this week I am so grateful for your protection, your friendship, your love, your grace, your opportunities. Thank You Lord
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
In Response to Funny How!
Went to hang with a more spiritually mature lady shortly after last post...And after much hours of listening, talking, wisdom and praying, I realise that the solution is not more connecting with people, but more connecting with God...And when that time of prayer and word is not as it should be, everything that happens around one becomes too much, but in His presence,there is fulness of Joy and everything else fades away.
Funny How....
Funny how you can be where all your friends and family are and feel more lonely than ever. Funny how people who don't understand you, fight with you, etc. can be more there for you than the people who do. I understand that everyone is so busy, and everyone's lives are a bit deurmekaar, but just sometimes hard to as I said be surrounded by people but yet everyone is at arms length. I suppose this is the time to find God in my City... In the same way when I was gone and misunderstood I found him. There are some people who are there, and life long friends who you don't have to explain yourself too. But it's still so much work just to be in community. And even spiritually. Just to talk to someone about God or what's going down sometimes means driving to the next town. Sorry if you are reading this and feeling but I am here! Let me know you are then. But so many times I feel like I'm the only one saying Hey when are we going to get together, when are we going to pray, etc...And if thats' your hearts desire let me know so that I know I'm not alone.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Back...
Yep, I've been quiet, but at last I am ready to post something...
So I'm back. Honestly it hasn't been easy being back. I kinda expected things to be different because I've grown, only to find myself making the same mistakes, falling in the same traps, hurting in the same way, and then getting frustrated and disappointed that this is happening, cause my 6 months away was not an Act yet why am I struggling.
Fortunately sometime between coming home and now, God has been stirring to mind some lessons I learnt the hard way in my 6 months, and now its time to apply it in this environment. Also the meaning of a scripture I never really understood...
Matthew 11:12 (NIV)
12From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.
Matthew 11:12 (NKJV)
12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
...Finally makes sense. I've got to win it here...Even though I've grown and learnt somethings, it's almost like weapons, or tools that I've acquired and now I have got to win it back in my old environment, back where the struggle was. And by force. It doesn't come easy. This was a surprise to me, but as I am now beginning to apply what I learnt it is beginning to get easier...
So what was the major lessons I learnt:
1) Consider it Pure Joy when you face trials of many kinds... Endurance,Joy, Maturity. God matures me through the trials, don't despise the trials, thank God, he wouldnt allow it if he wasn't going to use it to grow me. It doesnt come easy but eventually you get it. Like been struggling with some relationships since being back. Today I finally prayed. Lord I surrender this situation to me, even though it hurts and I can't see a solution, and it seems like things never change, Lord I know you are in control and I choose to trust you, trust that you know more than me, trust that you are in control. And that you will show me the next step, despite what was said, or what happened, the battle is yours Lord.
2) Surrender to God. - covered a bit in point no.1. Stop trying to fix things, understand things, it's tiring, frustrating and can make you sick. Give it to God. Let him do what he does best, Trust Him, If you given it to him, it is in good hands.
3) Serve. You'll find as you do the above God starts to soften your heart to pray even for the people hurting you or see them in a different light. Begin to ask God how you can be a blessing to them, sometimes you may see an opportunity, sometimes the opportunity presents itself to you to help out or do something to the very person who broke your heart. That is a God moment...Serve.
4)Accept. a) Accept yourself,for who God has made you, with strengths and weaknesses...When You can say this is Me and God accepts me and so do I, you stop trying so hard to please others cause you know who you are, and their not liking you doesn't matter so much as before cause you are you. But when you don't accept yourself (or maybe you think you have,but really depend on others opinions alot more), everything others say makes you second guess or question yourself and people pick that up and even hurt you even more. But when you know who you are, you got your power back :) and even just relationships with others are easier cause you're not expecting so much from them (validation, approval,etc)...
b) Also Accept people for who they are...This also helps alot. Once you accept this person, this leader, is like that and thats who they are that is their weakness that is their strength and I accept them for who they are, it becomes easier too to relate and not be so judgemental. People will change on their own time, when God reveals it to them, if you told them once and they're still like that you either accept them or move on, but once you accept them, once you,as someone once preached, see the gold in them and not just the dust, it becomes so much easier. Yes that person swears, lies, gossips, is very rude,hurtful but that is just the dust, they are also there through the tough times, Loving God lots, etc... Hold on to the Gold. and you also not so surprised by the dust, when it comes cause you have accepted that person warts and all. but as long as I'm expecting that person not to have warts, everytime they do something wrong either you take it hard, or you become judgemental. And then you are sinning too.
I've seen when I let the wall up to protect myself from others who have hurt me, after a while I notice I am not having breakthrough with God, because the wall I build holds him out too. I know forgiving and trusting again isn't easy...with God's help you do eventually get there as you realise God is using this trial to strengthen and mature you, as you surrender your life, the situation, your emotions to God,as you pray for and/or serve the people that hurt you and as you accept yourself and them for who God made them... You eventually will get through...
Currently I am finding myself slowly go through this process and it really does get easier to handle. Not immediately even I am far from through, but I know God knows and I know that he is making me a mature, wiser person and a winner and lover of all people. And I know there is the potential inside me to do the right thing so I will get there. By His Grace, with him... Hope you have learnt something from this and if not life may eventually teach you it too :)
Love,
Chandré
So I'm back. Honestly it hasn't been easy being back. I kinda expected things to be different because I've grown, only to find myself making the same mistakes, falling in the same traps, hurting in the same way, and then getting frustrated and disappointed that this is happening, cause my 6 months away was not an Act yet why am I struggling.
Fortunately sometime between coming home and now, God has been stirring to mind some lessons I learnt the hard way in my 6 months, and now its time to apply it in this environment. Also the meaning of a scripture I never really understood...
Matthew 11:12 (NIV)
12From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.
Matthew 11:12 (NKJV)
12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
...Finally makes sense. I've got to win it here...Even though I've grown and learnt somethings, it's almost like weapons, or tools that I've acquired and now I have got to win it back in my old environment, back where the struggle was. And by force. It doesn't come easy. This was a surprise to me, but as I am now beginning to apply what I learnt it is beginning to get easier...
So what was the major lessons I learnt:
1) Consider it Pure Joy when you face trials of many kinds... Endurance,Joy, Maturity. God matures me through the trials, don't despise the trials, thank God, he wouldnt allow it if he wasn't going to use it to grow me. It doesnt come easy but eventually you get it. Like been struggling with some relationships since being back. Today I finally prayed. Lord I surrender this situation to me, even though it hurts and I can't see a solution, and it seems like things never change, Lord I know you are in control and I choose to trust you, trust that you know more than me, trust that you are in control. And that you will show me the next step, despite what was said, or what happened, the battle is yours Lord.
2) Surrender to God. - covered a bit in point no.1. Stop trying to fix things, understand things, it's tiring, frustrating and can make you sick. Give it to God. Let him do what he does best, Trust Him, If you given it to him, it is in good hands.
3) Serve. You'll find as you do the above God starts to soften your heart to pray even for the people hurting you or see them in a different light. Begin to ask God how you can be a blessing to them, sometimes you may see an opportunity, sometimes the opportunity presents itself to you to help out or do something to the very person who broke your heart. That is a God moment...Serve.
4)Accept. a) Accept yourself,for who God has made you, with strengths and weaknesses...When You can say this is Me and God accepts me and so do I, you stop trying so hard to please others cause you know who you are, and their not liking you doesn't matter so much as before cause you are you. But when you don't accept yourself (or maybe you think you have,but really depend on others opinions alot more), everything others say makes you second guess or question yourself and people pick that up and even hurt you even more. But when you know who you are, you got your power back :) and even just relationships with others are easier cause you're not expecting so much from them (validation, approval,etc)...
b) Also Accept people for who they are...This also helps alot. Once you accept this person, this leader, is like that and thats who they are that is their weakness that is their strength and I accept them for who they are, it becomes easier too to relate and not be so judgemental. People will change on their own time, when God reveals it to them, if you told them once and they're still like that you either accept them or move on, but once you accept them, once you,as someone once preached, see the gold in them and not just the dust, it becomes so much easier. Yes that person swears, lies, gossips, is very rude,hurtful but that is just the dust, they are also there through the tough times, Loving God lots, etc... Hold on to the Gold. and you also not so surprised by the dust, when it comes cause you have accepted that person warts and all. but as long as I'm expecting that person not to have warts, everytime they do something wrong either you take it hard, or you become judgemental. And then you are sinning too.
I've seen when I let the wall up to protect myself from others who have hurt me, after a while I notice I am not having breakthrough with God, because the wall I build holds him out too. I know forgiving and trusting again isn't easy...with God's help you do eventually get there as you realise God is using this trial to strengthen and mature you, as you surrender your life, the situation, your emotions to God,as you pray for and/or serve the people that hurt you and as you accept yourself and them for who God made them... You eventually will get through...
Currently I am finding myself slowly go through this process and it really does get easier to handle. Not immediately even I am far from through, but I know God knows and I know that he is making me a mature, wiser person and a winner and lover of all people. And I know there is the potential inside me to do the right thing so I will get there. By His Grace, with him... Hope you have learnt something from this and if not life may eventually teach you it too :)
Love,
Chandré
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
