Just a bit frustrated again...I think we've been on the internet since 1998. Note I think. It definitely wasn't this advanced however had been chatting on Yahoo conversations and later messenger since then. Anyway what is my gripe? (and it's not entirely a bad thing what i'm saying, i'm just listing the cons of a pretty good opportunnity) Well because of Mxit, many people who couldnt afford internet, or werent exposed to the internet could now chat using their cellphones, it is much cheaper and in an instant messenger format, making it fun but also addictive. These users have been accustomed to certain behavioural patterns connected with MIM (mobile instant messenging) mafe (making accronyms for everything) and secondly being constantly online because unlike a computer, a cellphone can go to bed with them, so they on when they can't sleep, on while they brushing their teeth, on outside, on on holiday, on all the time. This is different to the person who has first been exposed to the internet, but not only that exposed to the internet while being in the IT world.
What's the difference. My internet stays on the way my cellphone stays on. Just because my cell is on doesnt' mean I am calling and speaking on it all the time. It is on so that if someone wants to reach me they can, and if I feel like I need to chat to someone I can, but it doesnt mean I do all the time, but when necessary and occasionaly randomly.
Now back to the internet usage versus mxit usage. Mxit generally has one purpose, for chatting. If someone is online they are there to chat. unless they are privately chatting to one person that is the general reason why they are online. On the other hand when I'm on the internet, I may be online but I may be e-mailing, blogging, like now, researching, doing work. In fact I may be working in Microsoft Office, with my internet explorer open in the background not even noticing someone else is online sending me a message because that isnt my focus. However for the person on the other end they are not understanding why it always shows my contact online and if I am why am I not chatting to them...
So that was gripe no.1 the fact that if I come online to work people cant understand why I'm online and not chatting, or they assume that I am becuase they are. I dont plan on switching gmail off just because of their assumption, because this is the way I've always used the internet, even going inside to make supper while this message shows online.
Secondly. the way mxit users who have now graduated to getting jobs and being exposed to the internet use facebook or e-mail. Now they have a keyboard and can type complete words, but still they use their abbreviations, and i have to actually ask around at times what is this person trying to say. Or you'll get a post on your wall with 4 letters on it...
Lastly I've had to adapt in terms of this but again it's a completely different ettiqute. But in IT, if u post me something and i cant chat, i would quickly tell you I cant chat...and then go on. And in mxit, its just silent.But I am not used to just ignoring someone when they send me a message and I cant chat. But it gets frustraitng when u have to say 5 times you cant chat...
Anyway will blog more. I dont want to be rude but at the same time I am not using the internet to socialize, occasionally I may say hi and chat and I would want people to know that if they have a problem they can ask or even say hi, but not all the time, or rather after office hours is fine. or much better than in the morning....
Oh the last point on classrooms. As a teacher you realise kids cant spell anymore, in fact a friend asked how to spell where, just because of mxit :)
Anyway I think it's just something I'm going to have to live with
:)
Note: This is not against any particular person, that is why i deal with it and try and accept it, cause I know it's 2 completely different mentalities coming together. who knows maybe new etiquettes may come about. But every so now and then i am frustrated and the result is this blog. May actually do some more research in it again.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
You see my problem....
and this is just the one hanging side...and i'm having seperation anxiety...
but even though i just wore it twice, what shoes will i wear with the pink 3/4 pants and shirt...???
At the same time, I think my cupboard, my life and my weight is bursting at the seams so I have to get rid of some of it
Job...
I blogged on Esther the other day, but then it didnt save the draft and the computer bombed when I tried to post it but will have to update all the previous books a next time. But just want to blog my current readings and observations. Began Job last night. And just read chapter 1. and then so far today 2 - 4.
But anyway...let me share my revelations about Job so far...
Before Job, what God has really been impressing on my heart was the difference between EVERYBODY and the people that were after God's heart and the measure of how much they followed and wanted all of God's ways to be done was the measure of in a sense His kingdom coming... Like in Kings/Chronicles. There were some who did God's will (or as the word says they followed in the ways of their father david) BUT they did not remove the high places, so you'd see that their children or grandchilren end up serving idols...and then there were those who wholeheartedly served God and went on to change the whole community as well... but then at sometimes for some pride crept in etc, and for others they stayed on the path... But for me reading that God really impressed his pattern and ways, it was about dependancy on God in everything and in every season of life, not just some of the time but all of the time (king solomon was some of the time and it lead to the splitting of the kingdom)...
So I read Ezra and Nehemiah and Esther (will blog about that shortly) and this sense of really seeking God's face, favour,etc, is still strongly impressed. for success in terms of being the person God wants. And then I get to Job...
Job1
1 In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. 2 He had seven sons and three daughters, 3 and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.
...
8 Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."
(Even God considered Job to be one of his best servants at the time...!)
Job was already living the right life, and had all that he valued taken away from him, from his children, his animals, and later his health. What was his response.
20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. [c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing
So before this I was saying that to live right and to be the child of God God wants me to be I need to seek him, I need to live blamelessly, etc.etc. But then along comes Job who is doing all of that already, and yet it didnt mean life was perfect...But even when disaster hit and everything fell apart for him, his response
was still worship. May the name of the Lord be praised. Regardless of what was happening and losing everything He still worshipped God.
This bible reading is really teaching me what God wants from us. I cant say I am even close to being where I should be but I thank God for His ways and teaching me through His word and His spirit for working in me the character that I desire...
But anyway...let me share my revelations about Job so far...
Before Job, what God has really been impressing on my heart was the difference between EVERYBODY and the people that were after God's heart and the measure of how much they followed and wanted all of God's ways to be done was the measure of in a sense His kingdom coming... Like in Kings/Chronicles. There were some who did God's will (or as the word says they followed in the ways of their father david) BUT they did not remove the high places, so you'd see that their children or grandchilren end up serving idols...and then there were those who wholeheartedly served God and went on to change the whole community as well... but then at sometimes for some pride crept in etc, and for others they stayed on the path... But for me reading that God really impressed his pattern and ways, it was about dependancy on God in everything and in every season of life, not just some of the time but all of the time (king solomon was some of the time and it lead to the splitting of the kingdom)...
So I read Ezra and Nehemiah and Esther (will blog about that shortly) and this sense of really seeking God's face, favour,etc, is still strongly impressed. for success in terms of being the person God wants. And then I get to Job...
Job1
1 In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. 2 He had seven sons and three daughters, 3 and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.
...
8 Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."
(Even God considered Job to be one of his best servants at the time...!)
Job was already living the right life, and had all that he valued taken away from him, from his children, his animals, and later his health. What was his response.
20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. [c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing
So before this I was saying that to live right and to be the child of God God wants me to be I need to seek him, I need to live blamelessly, etc.etc. But then along comes Job who is doing all of that already, and yet it didnt mean life was perfect...But even when disaster hit and everything fell apart for him, his response
was still worship. May the name of the Lord be praised. Regardless of what was happening and losing everything He still worshipped God.
This bible reading is really teaching me what God wants from us. I cant say I am even close to being where I should be but I thank God for His ways and teaching me through His word and His spirit for working in me the character that I desire...
Today's thought...
This is so inline with where I am at today...God your will be done in my life. In fact even the scripture I had quoted to someone the other day.
Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns -- September 30, 2008:
This is not a time to be hasty in your decisions. Nor would it benefit you to react emotionally to the things that require your attention. This is a time to get quiet and to come into My presence to find wisdom and guidance. Your most urgent need at the moment is to find rest for your soul that has been bombarded by stressful demands and expenditures of physical and emotional energy. Come to Me to be refreshed and restored, says the Lord.
Psalm 103:2-5 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
(also reading and being challenged by Living Water by Brother Yun and began book of Job which I will blog shortly...)
Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns -- September 30, 2008:
This is not a time to be hasty in your decisions. Nor would it benefit you to react emotionally to the things that require your attention. This is a time to get quiet and to come into My presence to find wisdom and guidance. Your most urgent need at the moment is to find rest for your soul that has been bombarded by stressful demands and expenditures of physical and emotional energy. Come to Me to be refreshed and restored, says the Lord.
Psalm 103:2-5 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
(also reading and being challenged by Living Water by Brother Yun and began book of Job which I will blog shortly...)
Monday, September 29, 2008
A date with destiny...
I dont know if it really is, but I felt that way today when meeting this lady for one of Drayc's projects, just the connection between my life and some of what she was sharing, and even the fact that her children were at holiday club. But at the same time, what I was also seeing and asking God for a while now but thinking again today is wanting to get to that point where u not just dreaming but really taking hold of the things, and not saying if, or but, but yes God, I'm going for this... I dont know if that comes in time, age, or God's favour or all, but i wanna mature in that area. Cause there are too many ideas and dreams that just dont materialize... because of fear/pride/etc...
Also chatted and encouraged a guy working at the garage shop today. The usual feeling afterwards, did I do the right thing in terms of chatting so long to a guy, who I know is receiving some of what I am saying but at the same time, do I want to be the only friend and i'm female that he has...But I have decided to let that be Gods worry.God will add more friends and guy friends to his life and I'll share when I can and if I'm comfortable and if not what God wants he will let me know. Just wish guys would give more of themselves to other guys.I suppose it's the same with girls
Also chatted and encouraged a guy working at the garage shop today. The usual feeling afterwards, did I do the right thing in terms of chatting so long to a guy, who I know is receiving some of what I am saying but at the same time, do I want to be the only friend and i'm female that he has...But I have decided to let that be Gods worry.God will add more friends and guy friends to his life and I'll share when I can and if I'm comfortable and if not what God wants he will let me know. Just wish guys would give more of themselves to other guys.I suppose it's the same with girls
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Update, Update...
* listening to, Stronger -Hillsong -This is Our God....
* Just found out the favourite paint pattern (moyo's on my face) and on one of my favourite pics (first pic, second pic only gives u more of a view of the full pic), means maiden, aka single and looking. the second description being the one everyone knows :) lol. Today was the heritage day celebration at church, it was quite funny at first I teased Ronelle for dressing in another culture, and then I felt left out a bit, not seriously but decided to get in on it too and made my necklase a head band and got a nice purple/pink sarong from one of the girls. Lastly was offered Mopani worms and Pap (which i still havent eaten yet) and I was like No way. and went around offering all the other coloured people which had ten million and one reasons as to why they wouldnt eat it, and me, and then tried Mervyn who immediately popped it in his mouth and crunched it in my face. Anyway, in retrospect I think I should have braved it,so can survive if I go on missions.... But then again should have been mentally prepared. Next Heritage day here I come...
* Also really good about this day. Stansilla got baptised...And it turns out the only other people getting baptised were also youth, Grade 9 and grade 7, awesome hey!
* hung for a short while at Kelly's house and got pink on my nails and with my colouring i must say it looks a bit shocking. also read something cool on her wall... cause been feeling irritated with people who do things for themselves firstly, at the expense of other more important things. But what it said on her wall that good friend dont find(look for) mistakes in other friends, etc.etc. but run from that, or overlook,etc...Just it shouldnt be the first thing i see of those closest to me...
* Just found out the favourite paint pattern (moyo's on my face) and on one of my favourite pics (first pic, second pic only gives u more of a view of the full pic), means maiden, aka single and looking. the second description being the one everyone knows :) lol. Today was the heritage day celebration at church, it was quite funny at first I teased Ronelle for dressing in another culture, and then I felt left out a bit, not seriously but decided to get in on it too and made my necklase a head band and got a nice purple/pink sarong from one of the girls. Lastly was offered Mopani worms and Pap (which i still havent eaten yet) and I was like No way. and went around offering all the other coloured people which had ten million and one reasons as to why they wouldnt eat it, and me, and then tried Mervyn who immediately popped it in his mouth and crunched it in my face. Anyway, in retrospect I think I should have braved it,so can survive if I go on missions.... But then again should have been mentally prepared. Next Heritage day here I come...
* Also really good about this day. Stansilla got baptised...And it turns out the only other people getting baptised were also youth, Grade 9 and grade 7, awesome hey!
* hung for a short while at Kelly's house and got pink on my nails and with my colouring i must say it looks a bit shocking. also read something cool on her wall... cause been feeling irritated with people who do things for themselves firstly, at the expense of other more important things. But what it said on her wall that good friend dont find(look for) mistakes in other friends, etc.etc. but run from that, or overlook,etc...Just it shouldnt be the first thing i see of those closest to me...
Friday, September 26, 2008
a weight off my back...
Today just went around sorting out stuff. Blogging so in case I forget where all my money went off i can look back on here and remember...
Firstly went to take id photos, then went to traffic department to apply for a new licence (and temporary) which cost R140. The guy was helpful, they don't normally do this work on Fridays.From there I went to pay my blood tests. R310...(the last in a long time!) From there went to collect Ziyanda's dvd in Milnerton then from there went to tech and ordered new student card, which is a bit messed up so I have to go back again, but while paying for that decided to just pay R250 towards the R6000 that I still owe them. Not much, but definitely feel good about paying this off. Now waiting to find out where a friend who approached me about a job opportunity is....
Finished Esther, will be blogging about that soon...
Firstly went to take id photos, then went to traffic department to apply for a new licence (and temporary) which cost R140. The guy was helpful, they don't normally do this work on Fridays.From there I went to pay my blood tests. R310...(the last in a long time!) From there went to collect Ziyanda's dvd in Milnerton then from there went to tech and ordered new student card, which is a bit messed up so I have to go back again, but while paying for that decided to just pay R250 towards the R6000 that I still owe them. Not much, but definitely feel good about paying this off. Now waiting to find out where a friend who approached me about a job opportunity is....
Finished Esther, will be blogging about that soon...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Top 10 Junkfood Options :) in no particular order
Current Favourites (may be old time favourites too)
1 McDonalds (mcdonalds isnt my first option though!
Big Mac Meal no doubt
2 Spur
Guacamole Burger (gaucomole on the side, extra basting on the side, no onion rings just chips, drink with the meal) (and if ribs was cheaper then maybe that instead)
3Mugg&Bean Zevenwacht
Nachos (extra mushroom and chicken)
4KFC
Chicky Meal - the burger and orange juice (perhaps order an extra piece of chicken)
5Steers
Rave Burger with extra cheese, chips and a coke
6Debonairs
Sweet and sour chicken/chicken and mushroom (barbecue sauce)
7Marcels Frozen Yoghurt
Blizzard English toffee, with half flake half fudge and half hot caramel put on afterwards
8 Wimpy
Cheese burger meal
9 Nandos
Pineapple Cheese burger
10 Stikland/Karibas/(and in Cape Town) Lusitania
Chip Roll only white salt and vinegar, no sauce, nothing extra,e.g tomato and garnish
1 McDonalds (mcdonalds isnt my first option though!
Big Mac Meal no doubt
2 Spur
Guacamole Burger (gaucomole on the side, extra basting on the side, no onion rings just chips, drink with the meal) (and if ribs was cheaper then maybe that instead)
3Mugg&Bean Zevenwacht
Nachos (extra mushroom and chicken)
4KFC
Chicky Meal - the burger and orange juice (perhaps order an extra piece of chicken)
5Steers
Rave Burger with extra cheese, chips and a coke
6Debonairs
Sweet and sour chicken/chicken and mushroom (barbecue sauce)
7Marcels Frozen Yoghurt
Blizzard English toffee, with half flake half fudge and half hot caramel put on afterwards
8 Wimpy
Cheese burger meal
9 Nandos
Pineapple Cheese burger
10 Stikland/Karibas/(and in Cape Town) Lusitania
Chip Roll only white salt and vinegar, no sauce, nothing extra,e.g tomato and garnish
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Randomness :)
Log on to google and see this.
For a moment I am shocked... But then i saw it was only www.google.co.za. But nevertheless, great that they did that anyway :) Can you tell I'm proudly South African
Random thoughts/events for the morning...
* If I'm not a coloured because that is what the apartheid government labelled us, then what am I? And even Mandela in his book speaks about coloured people even before the apartheid regime began. According to me I am coloured/of mixed heritage and personally want to discover more about that...but for all those that say we not at all then what are we? Are you just defining who you are by the colour of your skin and if I take it further that you not white in colour. Cause as i said for me it's to do with the blood, the heritage and a little bit of the culture. (Note to those who have never had a conversation with me before on this, I am not saying my colouredness is more important than my christianity, in fact for me if u know me that doesnt feature much in certain aspects...but this was just the thought for the morning on this topic. (dont let me get to the illegitimate/bastard mentality thought)
* Watched snippets of Music and Lyrics this morning. I really like that movie. Really :) Even like what she says about how music is the feeling when u first meet someone, the atmosphere and lyrics is the lives of the people, who they are, where they come from, the detail :). However one not so nice thought about all of this. Her sister says "Dont tell me you slept with him..." Anyway was just thinking in these movies, it's like on the first date they kiss, then if they really like each other it's shown by when they sleep together, then after that they normally have a fall out,but get back together. But the sign of love and connection in these movies is always sex. Which makes me think how many teens are having sex. As a teacher I've seen first hand how really the media is defining them. I've even thought perhaps I should watch kiddies cartoons for 2 weeks and see if it has an effect on me and my values. But here's the thing they fail to include in these movies. The issues that goes with sleeping with someone,regardless of who they are boyfriend, or one night stand...(except marriage),that it is deep with a whole lot of issues, and uncomfortableness attached. It is not merely just like a kiss showing that there is something between the two, yet that is how it is portrayed in nearly every chick flick, so how many are losing their virginities by this, and no. 2 correct me if I'm wrong but doesnt the 2 sleeping together just open up a whole lot of other issues. Or have people hardened themselves to the point where sleeping with someone is like a first kiss. I dont know if someone will tell me that open and honestly but would like to know...Anyway if Not,then i'm very irritated with Hollywood for exposing and flooding us with that mentality..
Ok well thats all for now.
For a moment I am shocked... But then i saw it was only www.google.co.za. But nevertheless, great that they did that anyway :) Can you tell I'm proudly South African
Random thoughts/events for the morning...
* If I'm not a coloured because that is what the apartheid government labelled us, then what am I? And even Mandela in his book speaks about coloured people even before the apartheid regime began. According to me I am coloured/of mixed heritage and personally want to discover more about that...but for all those that say we not at all then what are we? Are you just defining who you are by the colour of your skin and if I take it further that you not white in colour. Cause as i said for me it's to do with the blood, the heritage and a little bit of the culture. (Note to those who have never had a conversation with me before on this, I am not saying my colouredness is more important than my christianity, in fact for me if u know me that doesnt feature much in certain aspects...but this was just the thought for the morning on this topic. (dont let me get to the illegitimate/bastard mentality thought)
* Watched snippets of Music and Lyrics this morning. I really like that movie. Really :) Even like what she says about how music is the feeling when u first meet someone, the atmosphere and lyrics is the lives of the people, who they are, where they come from, the detail :). However one not so nice thought about all of this. Her sister says "Dont tell me you slept with him..." Anyway was just thinking in these movies, it's like on the first date they kiss, then if they really like each other it's shown by when they sleep together, then after that they normally have a fall out,but get back together. But the sign of love and connection in these movies is always sex. Which makes me think how many teens are having sex. As a teacher I've seen first hand how really the media is defining them. I've even thought perhaps I should watch kiddies cartoons for 2 weeks and see if it has an effect on me and my values. But here's the thing they fail to include in these movies. The issues that goes with sleeping with someone,regardless of who they are boyfriend, or one night stand...(except marriage),that it is deep with a whole lot of issues, and uncomfortableness attached. It is not merely just like a kiss showing that there is something between the two, yet that is how it is portrayed in nearly every chick flick, so how many are losing their virginities by this, and no. 2 correct me if I'm wrong but doesnt the 2 sleeping together just open up a whole lot of other issues. Or have people hardened themselves to the point where sleeping with someone is like a first kiss. I dont know if someone will tell me that open and honestly but would like to know...Anyway if Not,then i'm very irritated with Hollywood for exposing and flooding us with that mentality..
Ok well thats all for now.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Introduction...
I decided to do the "read the bible in 3 months" which should have ended Aug 9.It's September and I'm still at Nehemiah as we speak. I am really enjoying my study and really have seen the fruit of it. Not needing to be on arthritis tablets, no misunderstandings and lots of complements the day I'm in the word, open doors :) and just an increase in knowing and understanding God and his ways. The point of this category is just for me to blog these thoughts As I get there....
Updated Hair...
I like to keep u updated cause there's just one pic of when my hair was really really short and my friend said she doesnt know where those pics are so this captures the look over time. So here's the latest since last saturday...dyed my hair black again. Not the best pics, but the best with what i have to take it.Also everyone is going on and i jsut realised last dec my hair was black which wasnt too long ago. My conclusion is when I look vertrap it completely erases from people's memory how i look if my hair is blowed out, dyed etc...
Extremely tired at this point so just blogging this then off to bed ;)
Extremely tired at this point so just blogging this then off to bed ;)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Long Time no Blog
Dunno if I blogged this before, but after hearing the news that Jason and Lize got engaged yesterday (WOOHOO)just been thinking about where I am at in terms of relationships and it's still just this peace when I think of this "Keep on Waiting on the Lord, Keep on Waiting on the Lord, Keep on waiting on the Lord..." It's so cool that when we wait, our strength is renewed...! So it's not that I'm getting weak from waiting but stronger...
2 girls got saved in cell last night.God is really good, could feel his anointing way after. When praying the sinners prayer the next table was listening intently! Anyway very exciting, It was very clear in the one girls life that God has been drawing her to this point for a while.
What else can i tell you. My hair is black now, took pics on my moms phone which i still have to forward to here. But right now need to be off again...
Wanna start blogging what I learn from my bible readings too so watch this space.
2 girls got saved in cell last night.God is really good, could feel his anointing way after. When praying the sinners prayer the next table was listening intently! Anyway very exciting, It was very clear in the one girls life that God has been drawing her to this point for a while.
What else can i tell you. My hair is black now, took pics on my moms phone which i still have to forward to here. But right now need to be off again...
Wanna start blogging what I learn from my bible readings too so watch this space.
Friday, September 12, 2008
My Latest News Once Again....
Latest news is that I'm not teaching anymore. or for now. they have found an experienced teacher who has been teaching for 30 years and who will be able to get discipline in the class.i said it's fine as I am not there for myself but for the school and learners so if thats what's best for the class then i want that.
How do i feel about all of this. Well I do have peace about it. My mom's coming from hospital monday so it's cool that I will be at home in this time that she is unable to do much. I feel irritated that it seems like the Big Question is back? What next? where am I going, etc.etc. But at the same time i know I ask God, teach me your ways and he teaches me to walk by faith. That I don't need to know the answers to the big questions but to continue to know and walk in him....
Thats all for now.Very tired cause just came home like 15 min ago from a wonderful hangout with some of my bestest friends of all times...
How do i feel about all of this. Well I do have peace about it. My mom's coming from hospital monday so it's cool that I will be at home in this time that she is unable to do much. I feel irritated that it seems like the Big Question is back? What next? where am I going, etc.etc. But at the same time i know I ask God, teach me your ways and he teaches me to walk by faith. That I don't need to know the answers to the big questions but to continue to know and walk in him....
Thats all for now.Very tired cause just came home like 15 min ago from a wonderful hangout with some of my bestest friends of all times...
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Beauty's Curse and Redemption
Beauty's Curse and Redemption
Chandré De Wet (I hope to work on this further)
She hides deep within
accustomed to glances
The beautiful girl
caught up in romances
Her vision askewed
in her mirror no beauty
Outside a painting
an apathetic smile her duty
Yet inside she screams
her tears are remembered
Her dreams are dwindling
yet crowd pleasing defended
Confused and alone
eyes dimmed to her loved ones
She grasps at the broken
feeling safe in shattered arms
Her beauty not skin deep
it reaches the depth of her soul
Yet she forfeits reality
and only sees a hole
If only her eyes opened
her true value she could know
She'd spend half her time in hiding
her inner self she'd show
She was made for greater pursuits
than her mirror and her loves
For she has greater pursuiter
Unending love from above
Love with power to heal
to remove her blinding scales
Love reaches out ot hold her
though she fears, It never fails
This love will never give up
even when beauty tries to curse
This love increases her value
the consequences reversed
She'll dance and sing and shower beauty
her confidence from within
The hope of glory has reedemed her
the beauty of Christ within
No more hiding, wake up sleeping beauty
there'll always be remaining glances
Your beauty,it captivates us
caught up in His dances
Your eyes are on your maker
His cross beam now your mirror
Your outside beauty trickles
from your inner beauty river!
Chandré De Wet (I hope to work on this further)
She hides deep within
accustomed to glances
The beautiful girl
caught up in romances
Her vision askewed
in her mirror no beauty
Outside a painting
an apathetic smile her duty
Yet inside she screams
her tears are remembered
Her dreams are dwindling
yet crowd pleasing defended
Confused and alone
eyes dimmed to her loved ones
She grasps at the broken
feeling safe in shattered arms
Her beauty not skin deep
it reaches the depth of her soul
Yet she forfeits reality
and only sees a hole
If only her eyes opened
her true value she could know
She'd spend half her time in hiding
her inner self she'd show
She was made for greater pursuits
than her mirror and her loves
For she has greater pursuiter
Unending love from above
Love with power to heal
to remove her blinding scales
Love reaches out ot hold her
though she fears, It never fails
This love will never give up
even when beauty tries to curse
This love increases her value
the consequences reversed
She'll dance and sing and shower beauty
her confidence from within
The hope of glory has reedemed her
the beauty of Christ within
No more hiding, wake up sleeping beauty
there'll always be remaining glances
Your beauty,it captivates us
caught up in His dances
Your eyes are on your maker
His cross beam now your mirror
Your outside beauty trickles
from your inner beauty river!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
More Good News...Because I have a good God ;)
ja...2008, 2008, 2008, new beginnings.
GOD IS sooooo faithful, so faithful. I have to give Him glory. I do normally but at least I can do it unreservedly :)
I have more news but just a recap
Monday, January 7, 2008
A kick in the butt in the right direction...
"Only question of course is what I'm going to do, there are many options, study teaching, go fulltime in youth ministry,etc.etc..."
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Who am I Lord?
I know who I am not, I know that I am not an IT person, I know that i am able to understand and analyse and be logical and get things in class that even amazes me but I know that I am not an IT person, I know my heart doesnt beat for computers :)
But who am I? Right now that is a crucical question, I have peace about leaving even joy. But to where? That is and has always been the question :)
Lord help me to listen in this season, I know you speak, I need to listen.
wooooooohooooooooooooooo God is awesome, awesome, awesome.
Psalm 103 Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Anyway, now I dont have much time left to blog long so will just say
In answer to those questions, God has just opened the doors, I've been delivered of things I've been struggling with for years, I've been able to start doing fulltime ministry, that opened the door for me to teach at my old high school and get paid for what I would have been volunteering for, and got that job just in time to pay for my doc appt. which I hadnt been able to make it for since last year cause didnt have all the money. And have read the bible from Gen to Chronicles and all the while as I've been reading I've been growing, in confidence and in faith (makes me think now of that scripture that says Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God)and started to say but Hey if God is in me then surely this body should be getting healed, and hadnt been on tablets since about last dec because didnt have money and I've been fine, the weekedns I was too busy not reading the word, rushing and doing too much, had slight pain in my hand but the moment i picked up the bible the monday the pain left...So I was looking forward to my Aug 27 appointment with Dr Pont, my rheumatologist... :) Also a bit anxious the day but on inspection she said there is no need to put me back on the tablets at this stage, and the next day after getting blood test results she said that inflammation in my body is normal and my RF is low 30 something which is much lower :)...So medically my RA is in remission, Spiritually GOD has healed me ....:) And just when I got a bit impatient about the other aspect of my life in the men dept. God just gave me this peace about waiting on him again and i changed my desktop to the pic that I had made in the beginning of the year for my desktop and when I got to church that day we learnt a new song which also answered and encouraged me in the revelation i had had that morning.
Those who wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength in our God!...
KEEP ON WAITING ON THE LORD
KEEP ON WAITING ON THE LORD
KEEP ON WAITING ON THE LORD
The more I wait on God,the more I grow and renew my strength. :) ANd I know if I look at 2008 so far, there is now way I could have made what has happened to me happen in my own strenght or ability, and how long have I been praying Lord what is my purpose!!!And this is the year he made it work...And even in answer to the 5 children, I can always adopt. and that is something I have been wanting to do and if you think about it I too am adopted, my dad didnt just marry my mother but adopted me :)
and my relationship with my sis and family is just growing ;)
What more can I say. I serve a good God, a faithful God, a loving God, a patient God, a gentleman God...
13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself
He has shown me this...That he is faithful, even when I am not, faithful and committed to my life :)
I love you Lord. Bless you Lord!.
Chan
p.s some sayings
"Faithful God even if we are not"
" Don't mumble and grumble, Be HUMBLE"
GOD IS sooooo faithful, so faithful. I have to give Him glory. I do normally but at least I can do it unreservedly :)
I have more news but just a recap
Monday, January 7, 2008
A kick in the butt in the right direction...
"Only question of course is what I'm going to do, there are many options, study teaching, go fulltime in youth ministry,etc.etc..."
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Who am I Lord?
I know who I am not, I know that I am not an IT person, I know that i am able to understand and analyse and be logical and get things in class that even amazes me but I know that I am not an IT person, I know my heart doesnt beat for computers :)
But who am I? Right now that is a crucical question, I have peace about leaving even joy. But to where? That is and has always been the question :)
Lord help me to listen in this season, I know you speak, I need to listen.
wooooooohooooooooooooooo God is awesome, awesome, awesome.
Psalm 103 Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Anyway, now I dont have much time left to blog long so will just say
In answer to those questions, God has just opened the doors, I've been delivered of things I've been struggling with for years, I've been able to start doing fulltime ministry, that opened the door for me to teach at my old high school and get paid for what I would have been volunteering for, and got that job just in time to pay for my doc appt. which I hadnt been able to make it for since last year cause didnt have all the money. And have read the bible from Gen to Chronicles and all the while as I've been reading I've been growing, in confidence and in faith (makes me think now of that scripture that says Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God)and started to say but Hey if God is in me then surely this body should be getting healed, and hadnt been on tablets since about last dec because didnt have money and I've been fine, the weekedns I was too busy not reading the word, rushing and doing too much, had slight pain in my hand but the moment i picked up the bible the monday the pain left...So I was looking forward to my Aug 27 appointment with Dr Pont, my rheumatologist... :) Also a bit anxious the day but on inspection she said there is no need to put me back on the tablets at this stage, and the next day after getting blood test results she said that inflammation in my body is normal and my RF is low 30 something which is much lower :)...So medically my RA is in remission, Spiritually GOD has healed me ....:) And just when I got a bit impatient about the other aspect of my life in the men dept. God just gave me this peace about waiting on him again and i changed my desktop to the pic that I had made in the beginning of the year for my desktop and when I got to church that day we learnt a new song which also answered and encouraged me in the revelation i had had that morning.
Those who wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength in our God!...
KEEP ON WAITING ON THE LORD
KEEP ON WAITING ON THE LORD
KEEP ON WAITING ON THE LORD
The more I wait on God,the more I grow and renew my strength. :) ANd I know if I look at 2008 so far, there is now way I could have made what has happened to me happen in my own strenght or ability, and how long have I been praying Lord what is my purpose!!!And this is the year he made it work...And even in answer to the 5 children, I can always adopt. and that is something I have been wanting to do and if you think about it I too am adopted, my dad didnt just marry my mother but adopted me :)
and my relationship with my sis and family is just growing ;)
What more can I say. I serve a good God, a faithful God, a loving God, a patient God, a gentleman God...
13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself
He has shown me this...That he is faithful, even when I am not, faithful and committed to my life :)
I love you Lord. Bless you Lord!.
Chan
p.s some sayings
"Faithful God even if we are not"
" Don't mumble and grumble, Be HUMBLE"
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